This the winning confession from Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer confession contest: http://www.rammerjammeryellowhammer.com/weblog/archives/2005/11/confession_its_1.html
I thought the story needed to be better publicized since it is fucking hilarious.
In fall of 2001, I was starting my senior year at UT (Texas, not Tennessee). At the time, I had been dating a gorgeous girl (Who we'll call 'Erin') for about two years - and was seriously considering proposing. To where I had considered rings, and everything. The only thing 'wrong' with her was that she was not particularly interested in football, or in the watching of football - but she never said anything when I would get up at 7 AM on gameday to tailgate, and basically gave up on ever seeing me on saturday, so it wasn't really an issue.
Until we played Oklahoma.
See, she decided that, in my final year, I needed to see the Red River Shootout live, so for my birthday, she got me tickets. I immediately called my best friend to go.
As anyone who has had a girlfriend get them tickets might know, this was, evidently, the "wrong" move. She expected that I would take her. Despite her disinterest in football.
Now - I knew better. I knew that the football Gods smile upon the diehard who knows better than to sully a holy pilgrimege with such banality as "love." Imagine if a devout Muslim partook in the Hajj with his girlfriend. Insanity. But there was no explaining this to her without her considering me to be utterly out of my mind. So I relented.
Fine, whatever, they were ranked #3 at the time - but 3 points? THREE? We came in averaging (admittedly, against meager competition) 45 points per game! Deep down, I knew that it was my fault, and repented by sacrificing up large segments of my liver to the powers that be. And with six straight wins by a margin of, like, twenty-five points I felt that I had been forgiven.
Then came the Big-12 Championship game. At this point, Erin and I were deciding on post-graduation plans. Where we were going to live, and all that - and to celebrate the end of the semester, a group of friends were going to go to a 6th street bar and watch another humiliation of Colorado. I felt this was probably safe - after all, she wouldn't really be watching the game and it's not like we'd be THERE, and we had beat the Buffaloes by 35 points when we had last played them. So what could possibly go wrong?
Everything. Everything could go wrong. 39-37. Two points. Once we failed to recover the onside kick, I knew that something had to be done. But I still managed to rationalize it. Now - I don't know HOW I did this, and since most of the braincells that would have that information stored were drowned shortly thereafter, I may never.
Then came the bowl game against Washington. Now, Washington blew. They were like, 8-4 in the CRAPac-10. Going to be a walkover. She watched while she filled out the last of her law school apps. I was about to have a coronary as UW held a 36-20 lead going into the 4th quarter.
I couldn't take it any more.
I immediately told her she had to leave the room. She asked why, and I politely screamed something to the effect of, "You're an evil, estrogen fueled jinx-machine. Why do you hate me? WHY?"
She left, and 27 4th quarter points later, we pulled it out. The 'coincidence' was too much. It was clear what had to be done.
We broke up by Valentine's day. Needless to say, the engagement never happened. But with Texas at 10-0 and ranked #2, I think it all worked out for the better.
Posted by: Greg at November 17, 2005 06:21 AM
All comments, FanPosts, and FanShots are the views of the reader-authors who create them.