Mediator: So, who wants to be our North representative in the conference championship this year?

Missouri: Well, we don't.  We got ours earlier in the year.  We took ourselves out of the running once Texas sealed up the South.  We'll pass.

Mediator: Duely noted.  With that, there are two left.  Nebraska, K-State, and Kansas, sorry, but you cannot be part of this.  Colorado, Iowa State; what are your thoughts?

Colorado: We took our lumps already.  We're going to go out and lay an egg to Nebraska.

Nebraska: Well thanks for that nugget.  Too bad our bowl game opponent won't.

K-State: Be lucky you're going to a bowl game.

Iowa State: Look, we really don't want to face Texas either.  Sorry, Colorado.  It's going to be you.  Kansas, this one's all yours.

Kansas: WHOO HOO!!  We're going bowling!!!

Mediator: I guess that settles it.  Colorado, I'm sorry, but you're screwed.