Mediator: So, who wants to be our North representative in the conference championship this year?
Missouri: Well, we don't. We got ours earlier in the year. We took ourselves out of the running once Texas sealed up the South. We'll pass.
Mediator: Duely noted. With that, there are two left. Nebraska, K-State, and Kansas, sorry, but you cannot be part of this. Colorado, Iowa State; what are your thoughts?
Colorado: We took our lumps already. We're going to go out and lay an egg to Nebraska.
Nebraska: Well thanks for that nugget. Too bad our bowl game opponent won't.
K-State: Be lucky you're going to a bowl game.
Iowa State: Look, we really don't want to face Texas either. Sorry, Colorado. It's going to be you. Kansas, this one's all yours.
Kansas: WHOO HOO!! We're going bowling!!!
Mediator: I guess that settles it. Colorado, I'm sorry, but you're screwed.