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Around SBN: Kentucky Football: Tee Martin Reportedly Leaving for USC

Beware of Scott.... Ware!

Our favorite USC commenter "Joey" has issued a warning to the Texas football team and Burnt Orange Nation!

Beware of Scott Ware
Scott "Fu*#in" Ware is one of the sickest hitters in college football. Just wanted to throw my friend's name out there...the guy is one dangerous mother---- !!

Have you seen this man?!? Proceed with extreme caution! Joey has a friend on the football team... and he's really, really mean!

Thanks for the heads up, Joey! We're all locked in on Scott Ware now, whose stats are as intimidating as his goatee. 29 unassisted tackles, 17 assisted tackles, 1 interception, 2 passes broken up, and 1 fumble recovery.  Sick, dude! Totally sick!

A word of advice to Longhorn fans: Duck!

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I told you...
Yet another reason the Longhorns shouldn't even show up in Pasadena.  

Why do all the USC mug shots remind me of the guy who valet parks my car?

by Lincoln on Dec 8, 2005 2:24 PM CST reply actions  

Thats the guy!
I was at a Coffee Bean in Santa Monica today getting a latte, when WHAM, this guy totally plowed me over.  Made me fumble my coffee drink.

It was one of the sickest hits the Coffee Bean has ever seen.  And thats saying a lot since Dwayne Slay came in for low fat, haff caff mocha last year.

He even had the same red blazer on.  I just figured he was with the Salvation Army Real Estate.  Didnt know he was a Trojan.

by the other Andrew on Dec 8, 2005 2:28 PM CST reply actions  

Scott Ware
was in this bar I was at last week.
Some jackass, who obviously didn't know who he was dealing with came and scuffed up Scott's new Nikes, didn't even apologize.  Scott gets up and tears the guy's head off.
When the cops show up to arrest him, Scott gives the cops the eye, you know the one with the raised eyebrow.  Cop says "I'm not going to try to arrest him that is Scott Ware; he is one dangerous mother ----!"

by Wells on Dec 8, 2005 2:34 PM CST reply actions  

lol
Wells, thats freakin hilarious....that sounds exactly like something he would do. The other Andrew, you're trying to hard my friend. Texas has Huff and he makes a few plays every now and then, but seriously Ware is intimidating, so is Darnell Bing. I love this blog more and more everyday !!!

by joey @ Burnt Orange Nation on Dec 8, 2005 2:47 PM CST reply actions  

Other "Wares" to look out for...
Andre Ware - he is one no-career-having mother----!!
 

CorningWare - that is one heat resisting mother ----!!

TupperWare - That is one handy mother----!!  

by the other Andrew on Dec 8, 2005 2:48 PM CST reply actions  

omission
What about Johnny Ware?  Oh, nevermind, I meant Johnny Unitas.

Wrestler Koko B. Ware?  He was a high-flying, parrot toting mother...

by Lincoln on Dec 8, 2005 3:07 PM CST up reply actions  

And let's not forget.....
The most athletic ware of them all.........

UNDER-WARE

Texan by Birth, Longhorn by Choice!! Hook 'Em!

by collicrew on Mar 14, 2006 8:47 PM CST up reply actions  

I'm scared
I can't even say his name. I actually went to school with this "Man" in elementary. He was caught cheating on a test and Ms. Huff never saw it coming. She took his test away and took it to her desk. She told him that he had to go to the Principle's office and when he got up, *BAM*. He put a hit on her like Ronnie Lott. Both shoes came off and one of her knee highs got caught in his teeth. Ms. Huff never came back.

by GoHorns on Dec 8, 2005 2:48 PM CST reply actions  

Scott Ware story
Once, when Scott Ware was 13, he was midway through correctly defining what the Stanford Cardinal was about, when he decided to instead eat the state of California.  He did so in one bite, and pooped out the USC football team (full grown and in pads) fifteen minutes later.

The moral of this story is Scott Ware understands the metaphysics behind Stanford mythology, and also has an incredibly quick and magical metabolism.  And he hits really f'in hard.

by trot on Dec 8, 2005 2:49 PM CST reply actions  

jeebus
This may be the funniest thread I've read in weeks...

by Kahuna on Dec 8, 2005 3:12 PM CST reply actions  

A few Scott Ware Facts
The term "carnivore" was invented after Scott Ware was spotted at a carnival eating babies.

Scott Ware never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.

The only reason sperm whales are named as they are is because Scott Ware named them that when he dicovered they were the only animals that could deep throat him.

All women love Scott Ware because the mere thought of his goatee creates an explosion of desire and passion in their vaginas.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Scott Ware.

Scott Ware circumcised himself. At birth. With his bare hands.

Superman owns a Scott Ware jearsy.

by JodyReed on Dec 8, 2005 3:14 PM CST reply actions  

another interesting fact
During football practice, when Scott Ware does push-ups, he is not pushing his body back up, but rather, pushing the Earth down.

by trot on Dec 8, 2005 3:46 PM CST up reply actions  

well...
As badass as he is, Chuck Norris could still beat his ass.

by SuperBentley on Dec 8, 2005 4:48 PM CST up reply actions  

On the 6th day...
God created Scott Ware.

Scott put such a crazy hit on God, that on the 7th day, God rested.

Hook 'em! Go Bruins!

by uclawarren on Dec 9, 2005 3:42 PM CST up reply actions  

You can't spell F-E-A-R
Without Scott Ware!

Well, you can. But you shouldn't.

by Peter Bean on Dec 8, 2005 3:19 PM CST reply actions  

Definition of Scott
From Dictionary.com: *Scott* (skot)v. 1795?-1858: 1)To behead using one's bare hands; 2)having brass cojones n. 1954-Present: 1)Celtic name associated with the Civil War of the early 1400's; 2)Mythical creature, said to have the head of a White horse, the body of a Red Dragon, the muscles of Hercules, the sword of King Arthur, and claws made of iron ferite. History of the Name: In the early 1400's when Scotland was in civil turmoil, a man (whose name shall never be repeated) rode on his white horse from village to village plundering and stealing cattle. His legend became so storied that locals feared repeating his name and merely called him Scott. I can't spell what just happened, but I shuddered.

by GoHorns on Dec 8, 2005 3:38 PM CST reply actions  

Insomniac
Scott Ware doesn't sleep. He waits.

by TarHorn on Dec 8, 2005 4:03 PM CST reply actions  

Heh
Honestly though, Scott Ware makes evil hits.  Joey was just pointing that out.  So beware...
Fight On, Beat the (insert Trojan oppoent here)!

by USCLink on Dec 8, 2005 4:20 PM CST reply actions  

Now he's EVIL?!
I thought he was just dangerous before.  Cancel your flight guys.  Once Vince and Co. hear about this Scott guy, they will surely not go.  

by GoHorns on Dec 8, 2005 4:27 PM CST reply actions  

I know I wouldn't...
Those bold blue eyes and goatee have me quaking (but really its that hit in the 2nd quarter of the Notre Dame game that caused internal bleeding).
Fight On, Beat the (insert Trojan oppoent here)!

by USCLink on Dec 8, 2005 4:44 PM CST reply actions  

"Really evil"
"Like, so evil that you would say it was eeevil. Like it's the fruits of the deveeel."
"To crush your enemies -- See them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women!"

by EYESofBEVO on Dec 8, 2005 4:46 PM CST reply actions  

runner up
lol like'd the tupperware one that was good...

I agree scott is one of the better hitters on SC, but if you're wearing orange, rey mauluga is the one to watch out for.  

by petros on Dec 8, 2005 5:37 PM CST reply actions  

oh yeah
with rey malauga, you better not appear to be having fun at a college party or he will beat the living shit out of you and still be allowed to play football at the University of Spoiled Children.  His criminal record gives him enough street cred as one of USC's "Hardest hitters."

by SuperBentley on Dec 8, 2005 6:09 PM CST up reply actions  

What a name
It sounds like some sort of hemorrhagic fever, like Ebola.

by AdamDC on Dec 9, 2005 11:15 AM CST up reply actions  

Scott Ware will recreate this on Jan. 4th
Remember this Longhorns?? Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

by mel kiper jr fan on Dec 8, 2005 6:52 PM CST reply actions  

fair enough
Too bad Vince Young is too fast for someone to take him out like that.  I think we all saw what is going to happen to Matt Leinart this past weekend, when Drew Kelson knocked Joel Klatt out of house, home, and bowl game.

by SuperBentley on Dec 8, 2005 7:06 PM CST up reply actions  

Don't look now...
Looks like Mel Kiper Jr. fan just ensured us that Scott Ware sees these intersting facts posted about him thanks to BFJ's extremely creepy access to his facebook accout

That last time Scott Ware found out someone had been posting things about him on the internets he literally exploded with rage.  The USC trojans haven't been invited back to Japan since 1945 because of it.

by Applewhite is my homeboy on Dec 8, 2005 11:51 PM CST up reply actions  

OMG he is the next Roy Williams????
Well it was all fun and games until I realized we were coming up against Roy Williams. A player so nasty that a specific NFL rule prohibiting a nasty injury causing tackle is named after him.  We are f'd.
Crystal Balls

by MMHorns on Dec 9, 2005 8:31 AM CST up reply actions  

quick facts about scott ware
Scott F*#in Ware was not born in the traditional sense, but instead burst out of his pregnant mother's stomach when he laid a SICK HIT on his twin brother. He then put on a red blazer and grew a goatee just to show what a DANGEROUS Mother---- he truly was.

Also Scott has managed to get by at USC thus far without ever opening any books.  Instead, he stares at books with his piercing blue eyes  until they give him the information he wants, for fear of recieving an EVIL HIT.

When Scott Ware is walking around campus and students ask him what time it is, he always says "two seconds 'til."  After the student invariably asks "two seconds 'til what?" Scott Ware tackles them so hard, they BLEED INTERNALLY.

by Applewhite is my homeboy on Dec 8, 2005 9:43 PM CST reply actions  

HELL YES
I am glad that you all see the fear that Scott Ware brings to the table...thanks for giving my boy the pub he deserves. Now if only there was an effective statistical method to measure intimidation...you know, something that can be put into the box score.

by joey @ Burnt Orange Nation on Dec 8, 2005 11:12 PM CST reply actions  

Other Famous Scotts

Scott the shit ticket...

 


Scott the spaceman...

 


?????????????????

by Forklift on Dec 8, 2005 11:51 PM CST reply actions  

He said WHOA!!
For your reading pleasure, a little intimidation from my namesake.

After seeing Bush make a fool of a couple different guys, the interviewer asked "So when did he do that to you?"

The Answer: "It didn't happen to me in practice. [Ware laughed.] I'm not going to admit to that."

He immediately stopped laughing, and put a EVIL HIT on that poor stupid interviewer.

by scottm on Dec 9, 2005 12:05 PM CST reply actions  

A new challenge
I saw this quote on the Sports Guy web site:

"I'm traveling to all 51 states to see who can stop 85." -- Chad Johnson

Obviously, Chad Johnson has never heard of Scott Ware (or a map, for that matter).

Hook 'em! Go Bruins!

by uclawarren on Dec 9, 2005 2:02 PM CST reply actions  

51st State
Scott Ware is the 51st State.

by GoHorns on Dec 9, 2005 2:16 PM CST up reply actions  

Rumor has it
That Scott Ware had his way with Chad Johnson's girlfriend WHILE he knocked him unconscious covering him downfield.

I'm telling you, bro: that Scott Ware dude is sick.

by Peter Bean on Dec 9, 2005 2:30 PM CST reply actions  

Scott Ware does not have a chinstrap beard
That is Scott Ware's goatee clinging for life to his face for fear that it will get knocked off during one of his vicious hits.
Hook 'em! Go Bruins!

by uclawarren on Dec 9, 2005 3:40 PM CST reply actions  

Even after all of this
Just wait until he is in the NFL and Berman is calling him "Scott Ware 'Did That Come From?'" and "Scott 'Hit Me So Hard I Just Crapped My Under' Ware."
Hook 'em! Go Bruins!

by uclawarren on Dec 9, 2005 4:03 PM CST reply actions  

I couldn't help it...



Widespread Panic streaming audio on PanicStream.com

by PanicStream on Dec 9, 2005 5:18 PM CST reply actions  

Good incorperation of the looter
I thought that was over, but he's back

by Wells on Dec 9, 2005 10:15 PM CST up reply actions  

you should know
the beer looter dude is eternal

by SuperBentley on Dec 10, 2005 1:46 AM CST up reply actions  

Scott Ware facts
Litte knows facts about Scott Ware...

When Scott Ware sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to hit. Scott Ware has not had to pay taxes ever.

On the USC campus handicap parking signs do not signify that a spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Scott Ware and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Scott Ware built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Scott met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Scott Ware's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

by FUOU on Dec 11, 2005 7:57 PM CST reply actions  

W dominates texas
Kinda funny coming across this site.  Scott is a former teamate of mine at Santa Rosa JC.  If you think he's tuff,  in practice he used to get in the other line so he wouldn't have to get hit by me. Once I left he was able to come out of his shell his sophmore year and start dominating people.  I guess you could say I spawned Scott Ware.

by 8FOOTSOLID on Dec 29, 2005 12:58 AM CST reply actions  

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