FanPost

Nebraska can go to hell for their sins

Damn you University of Nebraska.  In 1981, your scientists took something so holy, so pure and corrupted it.  You twisted perfection into something perverted, unrecognizable.  This?  This is not barbecue.  This is wretched.  This is a McRib.

What the hell is this?  I toil in my backyard for half a day to produce smoky brisket, tender pork ribs, and succulent chicken.  Your UN-L scientists, on the other hand, took some meaty parts into your lab, put it into a Play Doh mold and voila, you spawned the McRib.  Barbecue wasn't meant to be sped up.  The barbecue equation goes like this:

Meat + 225° + smoke + time = Heaven

Your version goes like this:

"Meat" + 400° = Hell

At least you got the onion and pickle part right.

Why did you do it?  You scientists at UN-L weren't happy fiddling with just corn?  C'mon, you can do a lot with corn.  You can roast it... pop it....  I'm sure there's a third thing you can do with it.  That's why God put you in Nebraska, to do things with corn.  Leave the barbecuing to us Texans.  Is that fair?  I think it is.  When I need a bowl of popcorn and some chilly wind swept plains, that's when I'll give you call.

Fortunately, your days are numbered, McRib.  Thank God we can soon rid the world of this madness.  Is it a coincidence that Texas meets you on the field the same week as the McRib Farewell Tour begins?  No.  It's by design.  

You should know by now that The University of Texas controls so much more than just the Big 12.  Partial Qualifiers?  Tip of the iceberg.  Eliminating the McRib?  That's the other tip, on the other side of the iceberg.  


All comments, FanPosts, and FanShots are the views of the reader-authors who create them.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Burnt Orange Nation

You must be a member of Burnt Orange Nation to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Burnt Orange Nation. You should read them.

Join Burnt Orange Nation

You must be a member of Burnt Orange Nation to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Burnt Orange Nation. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9347_tracker