FanPost

Blog Pong

Thanks to some Florida honey calling herself "Sailr" (gay innuendo noted), who T-Bone properly welcomed to the Bon with open legs using his patented line, "what's up America's foreskin" (see Diary entitled "Complete the Analogy" below), me and TB got a little game of Blog Pong going.

Here's TB's last shot and my subsequent return of service:

After explaining to T-Bone that I once did time as the Land O Lakes girl thanks in part to my fractional indian heritage, T-Bone responded:

"We dinkem Firewater"

What I like is that you're not afraid to openly admit your illiterate heritage, it takes a big man to be able to step up and drown in the trail of tears left by your whooping cough ancestors.  Kudos!  I will call bullshit though, cause I've met the Land O' Lakes girl, and you my friend are not her.  Her name is Orchid and the L'O'L job is just a stopgap as she's starting dental school in August.  Now that we know your income hasent been supplemented by wearing a headdress, I am curious how one affords such a fucking cherry Camaro.  We all like the new electronic fuel injection, but IROC stands for Italian Retard Out Cruising, so put down the jean jacket and springsteen into the 21st century.  Although Hugger orange can cause delusions of grandeur, automobile manufacturing didn't end in 1987.  

I wouldn't have to paint my GI Joes if the idiots over at Hasbro could get the special forces insignia right on Colonel Sharpe's breast plate.  Level 5 Wizard now, bitch!  It only took me twelve years, that's better than my friend Samuel, who has been stuck on Warlock for 4 years, in your face Sammy.  I did get kicked off the tour for tossing Sasha into the crowd, but we still get together and have a tiny coffee once a month.  Lately, I have started collecting Full House memorabilia.  I figure, in 10 years the FH will finally reach the nirvana status that it deserves, and will be a template for how morals, virtues and side-splitting humor are utilized in the utopian future it portends.  

Already in the collection:
The pole up Bob Saget's ass
The original sopeona from Dave Coulier's 3rd paternity suite
A bloody condom, used in Rebecca Romaine Stamos
Stephanie's virginity
The entire Mary Kate and Ashley line of bulimia work-out videos
A lock of Candace Cameron's belly hair (I got that myself, wink)
And the original pilot, where Danny's wife dies during rough sex with her brother-in-law, Uncle Joey.  

I figure in a few years, I can set up a museum and retire in sunny Phoenix.

P. S. my Myspace user name is ClitsAhoy25, check it out.  All I can promise is tank-tops, yellow hot pants and loads of air guitar.

54b RETURN:

Okay, you got me, I'm not 1/128th Commanche, but I did drive an unmarked van of small pox blankets into a U-Totem outside Bigsby, OK a few years back when me and the Duke boys were running shine.

As for your memorobilia collection, I can only say, "wow," though I would have been completely blown away if you'd been able to acquire the testicles from the very special episode of Full House titled, "Ah Nuts," when Danny Tanner was forced to get Commet neutered because the dog was hunching little Michelle like Andy Dick after a full bottle of Vitorin.

Of course, I had to give up watching FH when Candice Cameron started hitting the Kraft Services Van with a vengence. Is there any doubt she gave the Olson twins the blueprint for bulemia. Of course the purging part was all Mary-Kate's idea. Though I think Uncle Jessie held her hair over the toilet as he had years with his own mullet. Have mercy, on his soul as I heard he was recently impaled upon a chicken bone being fought over by Lori Laughlin and Kistey Alley. As for Candice, I'm glad to report that she beat Anorexia, is weighing in at a healthy two bills now and her added girth helped her land the role of Blair on the Facts of Life Ice Capades Tour.

Regardless, I'm sure the FH memerobilia museum will be a big hit and you've inspired me to open up my very own "Party of Five" Sanitarium sponsored by Zoloft. Scott Wolf has already promised to make an appearance and autograph posters from his vintage gay porn collection. Not only that, but Corky from Life Goes On is going to produce an actual AIDS test to prove once in for all that he and Rob Lowe's brother were just doing "play sodomy," not real sodomy like when Sam the Butcher took Bobby in the back room to show him his very special cut of meat on "A Very Brady Christmas."

Okay, got to go, there's a fresh Gilmore Girls about to start and I think tonight's the episode where one girl laughs so hard she tinkles in her gauchos.

Stay bitchin',
54b

PS. If I'd known you were ClitsAhoy25, I never would have hidden my true identy: PoonFlosser007.

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