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Morning Coffee

Monday, February 26, 2007
Powered By: Castle Rock Cabernet Sauvignon
On The iTunes: One Be Lo: "S.O.N.O.G.R.A.M."
Let's start with Texas basketball fandom, shall we? First, we've got this diary, in which a couple of our favorite BON'ers had a chance to chat with Mother Atchley and Mother Lewis in Norman on Saturday. From the looks of things, the mothers of Texas' two best white players (ya hear that, Mooney?) aren't terribly pleased with some of the things we've had to say about their respective sons.

I don't want to make a mountain out of a mole hill, but it's worth noting that you're not likely to find two bigger fans of Texas basketball than AW and I. And though we don't profess that BON is the beginning and end of Texas sports coverage, I dare say that that there aren't any sites that can legitimately claim to provide more Texas hoops coverage than BON does. We urge fans to attend games, we don't mask our rabid obsession with the team, and we always qualify our criticisms by noting that everything we write is inspired by a desire to see these kids do the very best they can. In our view, there's a decided lack of passion for Texas hoops among the Longhorn faithful, and we think we do a pretty good job of providing a place for fellow hoops enthusiasts to gather and talk Texas basketball. If that means that bad performances from individuals have to be analyzed - so be it. Overall, this site is nothing but a giant fan site. In that light, we'd be delighted to chat with the Mothers Athcley/Lewis. I'm sure they're dying to thank us for doing our damndest to pump up the fanbase of this program. . .

Along those same lines, we received some very interesting news this weekend from a reader who wishes to remain anonymous. Apparently, one of our readers, with the help of someone very well connected to the hoops program, is going to be able to smuggle in some signs to the Erwin Center on Wednesday night. It turns out that AW and I aren't the only ones who feel like the student section needs to be given a stronger presence at the game, and step one of the action plan involves letting a couple students smuggle in some signs that the Erwin Center security personnel would normally confiscate at the door.

So, here's where you get to be involved.

We're holding a contest: in the comment section below, submit your poster sign ideas for the Aggie game on Wednesday night. Try to rise above the overdone farm animal jokes and think of something truly clever. We're not at liberty to say who the student is who will be taking the signs into the arena, but if yours gets chosen, there will be a prize. At the least, we'll throw you a BON t-shirt. If it really creates a stir on ESPN somehow, we'll throw in something extra special. In any case, now's the time to submit your best Aggie-demeaning sign ideas. We certainly won't object if your sign idea mentions Billy Gilispie's DUI.

Sticking with basketball, some folks asked for us to break down the various scenarios for Texas in terms of seeding in the Big 12 basketball tournament. Longhorn Road Trip's Ryan correctly noted that I'd prematurely locked in Texas to the #3 seed, as the 'Horns could slip to #4 if they lose their final two and Kansas State wins their final two. Beyond that, it matters not whether Texas winds up the #2 or #3 seed; they'd be in the bottom of the bracket and would face either A&M or Kansas in the semifinals of the Big 12 tourney (assuming all the higher seeds advanced). If Texas wins either of its final two regular season games, we shouldn't be worrying too much about the Big 12 tourney at all. If we lose both, we'll be much more concerned with how Texas performs in Oklahoma City.

Switching over to baseball, the 'Horns dropped the series finale 7-6 against Washington State on Sunday after having won the first two on Friday and Saturday. Once again, Randy Boone struggled, allowing four runs on four hits in taking the loss. For the season, Boone has allowed 10 earned runs in just 17 innings pitched, and has struggled to adapt to the closer role Augie wants him to thrive in. I'll be curious to see how long Gaurido sticks with him in the tight late game situations.

In football news, spring workouts officially commenced over the weekend, coinciding with Texas' second Junior Day. The 'Horns picked up two commitments - Riley Dodge and Tre Newton - while the 2007 team got its first chance to work out together. The workouts - the only two open to the public until the March 31st Spring Scrimmage - were padless practices. It's too early to speculate on anything meaningful for the 2007 depth chart, but I read numerous positive reports on the following players: Deion Beasley, Roddrick Muckelroy, John Chiles, Jermichael Finley, Sergio Kindle, Quan Cosby, Colt McCoy, and Vondrell McGee. Lots of exciting names to get to know over the next six months. We'll be sure to keep you up to date.

--PB--

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i know you want highbrow...
but i'm not above a good sheep-fucking joke that plays up the fact that Billy's referred to as BC/S's #1 eligible bachelor.

such as: "hey billy, meet College Station's #1 eligible bachelorette:" and have a picture of a sheep or, alternatively, a picture of a fat and/or ugly chick in a&m gear.

as long as i'm in lowbrow mode: "Tim Hardaway hates Billy Gillispie."  Not exactly original (some Kentucky fans did the "TH hates LSU" thing a few days ago, but does have the added benefit of making fun of Gillispie for not being married.

How about this: "DUI's aren't going to find you a wife, Billy..."  Alternatively, replace "wife" with "husband" to be just a little more abnoxious.

by billyzane on Feb 26, 2007 1:04 AM CST reply actions   0 recs

I love all those
And I'm certainly not above any of them. . .

Just passing along what we were told.

Whatever gets smuggled in, this is a great development. It's going to be great to see some outstanding anti-A&M signs in the FEC.

--PB--

by Peter Bean on Feb 26, 2007 1:11 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

yeah
we'll need a report from those in the crowd because i have a feeling that whatever we come up with is going to be the type of sign that ESPN is not going to want to show if it can help it.

by billyzane on Feb 26, 2007 1:15 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

And yet
And yet, the student in question will be seated in a position where it will be damn hard for the cameras not to (even inadvertently) show his sign.

I'm just glad that someone with connections to the program reached out to the students with this idea. It's a great one.

--PB--

by Peter Bean on Feb 26, 2007 1:18 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

apologies PHF
but lowbrow is lowbrow.  not too much sensitivity in the lowbrow.

by billyzane on Feb 26, 2007 8:19 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

No worries
I know there's not a homophobic bone in your body, BZ. Just couldn't pass up a chance to give you a hard time.

I know that misogyny, homophobia and racism are still rampant in college and professional sports - see the link to a surprising story I just posted here http://burntorangenation.com/comments/2007/2/24/181635/268/21#21 - but I've never felt like that was the case here on BON.  And when it HAS cropped up, our able moderators have stepped in to put a stop to it.

Officially a Limey Longhorn

by patienthornsfan on Feb 26, 2007 8:35 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

or an alternative
"The lady doth protest too much, methinks."

Billy Gillispie doesn't take Tim's Hardaway

xerxes

by Xerxes on Feb 26, 2007 12:07 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

I blame Michelle Moriarty
... for Boone's struggles.  She must have dumped him , and he's lost his mojo as a result.

We got spoiled with Street and Cox.  Why is it so hard to find another guy with that kind of lockdown mentality?

Officially a Limey Longhorn

by patienthornsfan on Feb 26, 2007 3:15 AM CST reply actions   0 recs

How about
"Texas A&M desperately hoping to be Texas since 1883."

by billb on Feb 26, 2007 7:57 AM CST reply actions   0 recs

"We're Texas A&M"
"What starts here changes...  the gene pool of livestock."
Officially a Limey Longhorn

by patienthornsfan on Feb 26, 2007 8:05 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

i like that one
i'm a stampede member, so i should be in the first few rows of the south side. i just might use that one, or something similar, with your permission PHF
...til Gabriel blows his horn

by BigTexBD on Feb 26, 2007 1:41 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

maybe
"We're Texas A&M. What starts here damages the livestock gene pool"

or a play on words with the gene pool, like "Texas A&M: diving into the shallow end of the livestock gene pool since 1876"

...til Gabriel blows his horn

by BigTexBD on Feb 26, 2007 3:46 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

My suggestion...
1) Joseph Jones = NBDL Superstar

by txtwstr7 on Feb 26, 2007 8:34 AM CST reply actions   0 recs

Some bad sign ideas
"Hey Aggies -- Your court is as ugly as your sheep women" (probably doesn't make sense with the game not on their court)

"Texas is above the Law"

"Aggies shoot bricks and throw poo"

by Meekrob on Feb 26, 2007 8:48 AM CST reply actions   0 recs

More bad (but clean/safe) signs
"Time to make a withdrawal from the aTm"

"If you can't go on the grass, where does Reveille pee?"

"Seriously, what the hell is an Aggie?"

"If the Aggies are in Austin, who's tending the flock?"

"WHOOPs!  Durant just scored again"

by Shake on Feb 26, 2007 9:55 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

one more...
"Yes Ocifer, I'm driving the bus"

by Shake on Feb 26, 2007 9:57 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

A take on Gillespies DUI:
Have a sign that says "Gillespie's BAC" and right next to it have a place for removable cards starting at .00 and going up periodically.  When it gets to .25 or so, start a chant like, "pass the keys!"  

Another way to do it would be to have a graphical representation of the BAC.  It starts out with a gorgious woman and eventually morphs into a sheep.  

by Hornbud on Feb 26, 2007 12:57 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

Slight modification
The graphical representation would need to start as a 'Billy-goat', progress through a few other farm animals, and then sheep.

by Shake on Feb 26, 2007 1:30 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

how about
"Kellen Heard likes it from behind"

or

"Eric Pedersen is a punk ass bitch"

by SelimSivad on Feb 26, 2007 1:28 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

Can't top "Bahh means no."
Don't know who came up with that, but it's damn funny.

A few submissions...

Since these signs would be in the stands and b-ball games are used as a place to take football recruits...

"Hey Fran, all of your 2008 commitments are here tonight. Don't wait up."

Then there's always the more straight forward...

"Your mascot's a bitch."

 And of course there's aways pageant humor...

"Miss Texas A&M french kisses after every point. Her dad says she's the best."

Be nobody but yourself in a world that desperately wants you to be like everybody else.

by 54b on Feb 26, 2007 1:30 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

Miss Texas A&M
picture of a sheep wearing a sash, with "Billy-goat" sitting next to an empty bottle saying "How you doin?"

by Shake on Feb 26, 2007 1:34 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Modification
Poster with the following:
  • Sheep (or other farm animal) wearing Miss TAMU sash
  • Billy holding an old moonshine jug looking towards Miss TAMU, with the caption bubble:
     "Man, have I got a BONer"

by Shake on Feb 26, 2007 2:59 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Baaa means no
That has been me the last two years, but I'm not sure if I'm going to get a chance to rent the costume in time for the game.  There is the distinct possibility of another person coming as a different farm animal with their own message about animal lovin'.

Personally, I am a huge fan of the "Law V" idea from earlier in the thread.

From what I hear, there will be Billy Gillispie mugshots being passed around the South and North o-zones on Wednesday night.

by LonghornRoadTrip on Feb 26, 2007 1:42 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Forgot about the costume
That was genius...

What do you say we combine your two favorites? Imagine this poster:

"WELCOME TO COLLEGE STATION"

(Mugshot of Gillispie to the left of a pic of the Law V sheep)  

"Too many DUI's...not enough IUD's"

And you might add a picture of Miss Texas A&M hoisting the "Inbreeder's Cup."

Be nobody but yourself in a world that desperately wants you to be like everybody else.

by 54b on Feb 26, 2007 2:17 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Baa means no
You have made it on TV multiple times, and I laugh every time.  Get the costume, it is good stuff.

by Wells on Feb 26, 2007 2:47 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Wear it...
see subject for my vote

by Shake on Feb 26, 2007 3:02 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

like Kazakstan
picture of Borat with Aggie emblem and caption:

aTm makes me feel like I am home in Kazakstan!

by crphorn on Feb 26, 2007 1:42 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

how about
"watermelon, watermelon..."

by WacArnolds on Feb 26, 2007 1:51 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

how's that one go?
"Watermelon, watermelon, watermelon rind...
Look at the sheep and see who's on its behind?"

by the other Andrew on Feb 26, 2007 2:58 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

wait
i thought these were supposed to be clever.

by WacArnolds on Feb 26, 2007 3:07 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

true
continue as you were

by WacArnolds on Feb 26, 2007 3:24 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

how bout
KD pisses excellence
Billy pisses zima
Acie pisses himself
Texas=VY + KD ou=KY + VD

by ctex80 on Feb 26, 2007 3:27 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

Oh wait
Did you say to "Try to rise above the overdone farm animal jokes..."?

Damn, it is just so easy to follow that tangent.

by Shake on Feb 26, 2007 3:52 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

Texas A&M:
Where all your insecurities come true.
Dish the ball to KD for massive damage!

by Ramzlita on Feb 26, 2007 4:11 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

how about...
"Texas A&M: institutionally homoerotic since 1883"

OR

"Texas A&M: now 47% more homoerotic"

OR

"Texas A&M: now IV times as homoerotic"

by billyzane on Feb 26, 2007 4:16 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

"To Catch a Predator"
"Texas Longhorns make ESPN highlights"

"Texas A&M Aggies make Dateline NBC highlights"

http://forums.hornfans.com/php/wwwthreads/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=cactuscafe&Number=4819439& amp;page=0&view=collapsed&sb=5&o=0&fpart=3

Cats and dogs sleeping together.

by EYESofBEVO on Feb 26, 2007 4:30 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

similar to the joseph jones nbadl one
just have a life size cardboard cutout of acie law with an austin toros jersey on.

by Vice President Coco on Feb 27, 2007 12:54 AM CST reply actions   0 recs

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