Here is my previously written guide to the mystery that is Dhab:

From a comment I made a while back, which, when I reread it, I realized I actually made to one of Captain Dhab's alternate identities:

[Captain Dhab] was, as far as I can remember, the only ostensible Longhorn "fan" to get run off from BON. His offenses included idiocy, racist language, extremely poor grammar (and his spelling was worse than Wells'), extremely contrary opinions repeated over and over for the sake of inciting general irritation (though it was later proven that this is not a ban-able offense), idiocy, attempting to sneak back in after being banned for the above, idiocy, refusal to accept the nickname I bestowed upon him, refusal to leave BON and start his own blog where he could spew idiocy to his heart's content, and other assorted nonsense that finally drove PB to distraction.

   Only the Powers that Be know for sure, but I think I can count on two hands the number of people who have been BON-Banned. If I were Captain Dhab, I would hang my head in shame to know that I share that dishonor with brazos, the least pleasant Aggie ever (and what a statement that is), and the Crying Sooner Kid's mom (who still insists that he had just been punished for something else, but I don't care, he's still my screensaver).

In addition, several BON'ers, notably cool dude billyzane, have become adept Dhab trackers, able to sniff him out sometimes in the course of one to two comments. Some people have even gone to the effort of tracking him down in real life, or at least the Facebook equivalent. I'm not sure those facts are relevant though.

Clues you may be reading something by the Cap'n:

  1. Is the commenter's handle some variant of "Longhorn4ever" or "Horn4life"? (NB: There well may be legitimate BON'ers with handles along these lines, don't be a McCarthy-ite.)

  2. Are random letters missing from the comment, as though the person's keyboard is missing keys? Or random logical/rational thoughts, as though the person's brain is missing certain functional zones?

  3. Does the person retype virtually the same comment repeatedly over the course of several hours and/or diaries/main page posts? Are those comments vaguely controversial?

  4. Does the person spend a lot of time publicly trying to discern "who is Dhab?" in the classic "smelt it/dealt it" tradition?

  5. Does the person eventually start using silly 133t spelling and pseudo-street lingo in posts?

If a large number of the answers are "yes" or "yeah, what the hell is wrong with this guy?", you may have run into another iteration of Captain Dhab. If so, taunt him until he blows up cursing and PB can ban him once again.