All Evidence to Date: "OU Sucks"

by Horn Brain on Oct 8, 2008 6:41 PM CDT in Football

Editor's note: Horn Brain hit this one out of the park, so this will serve as Wednesday's Item of OU Hate. --PB--

Everyone seems to be very confident in something this week. I mean, ask for the time and most people will just outright say it, with hardly a second thought. Much like the talking heads on ESPN triumphantly tooting the Ohio State - Michigan Rivalry's horn as the greatest in all of sports without so much as a pseudo-factoid to support it, Texas fans just know that OU sucks. The difference between mindlessly jumping on the Bucks and Blue bandwagon (Herbstreit calls shotgun), and knowing deep down in your heart of hearts that OU sucks 100% of the time 100% of the time, is that... well... we're right.

Numbers

If you met someone with no teeth...

Tooth Loss by State:

State: % loss Confidence Interval Rank

Mississippi	29.6	(26.8 - 32.6)	44
Oklahoma	31.2	(28.9 - 33.5)	45
Louisiana	31.4	(28.8 - 34.1)	46
Alabama	31.9	(28.5 - 35.6)	47
Tennessee	32.3	(28.6 - 36.2)	48
Kentucky	38.1	(34.9 - 41.5)	49
West Virginia	42.9	(39.2 - 46.7)	50

Texas ranks #10 with 16.8%
According to confidence intervals, OU is conceivably third-worst, or #48. Source

... Who cheated at everything they ever did...

Institution	# of Major Infractions
Arizona State University	8
Southern Methodist University	8
University of Oklahoma	7
Auburn University	7
Texas A&M University	7
University of Minnesota, Twin Cities	7
University of Wisconsin, Madison	7
Wichita State University	7

Texas has 4, but if you had to compare, Switzer farted worse infractions in his sleep. Honestly, I'm surprised that the Aggies were able to keep up.

... And cooked like this...

According to this study Oklahoma had 51 meth labs busted in 2005, while Texas had 58. Adjusting for population, that's about 6 times the number of meth labs per capita.

Meth-lab-012_medium

Boomer Sooner, baby...

... Then you just might be forced to conclude that...

... For all time...

OU SUCKS!

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Comments

WOOOOOO!

This is your finest work ever, sir.

Evah.

--PB--

by PB @ BON on Oct 8, 2008 7:07 PM CDT reply reply 0 recs

I'm stunned, you've won both the internets and the hater's ball in one post. Tremendous...nt whills.

proud to swim home

by learned hand on Oct 8, 2008 7:34 PM CDT reply reply 0 recs

Which state can't pull its own weight?

The numbers don’t really surprise me.

Federal Spending In Each State Per Dollar of Federal Taxes

Oklahoma ranks 15th at $1.36 Received/$1.00 Paid.
Texas ranks 35th at $0.94 Received/$1.00 Paid.

Numbers courtesy of The Tax Foundation.

by Kool Hand on Oct 8, 2008 7:43 PM CDT reply reply 0 recs

Oh My Gosh

This needs to be a poster. Now. For sale on BON.

by pleaseplaykindle on Oct 8, 2008 7:44 PM CDT reply reply 0 recs

Dearest Hornbrain

I thought I had cornered the market on time-killing poster subject matter. I thought wrong.

Please accept this laurel and hearty handshake, my friend. You have raised the bar for everyone. Except 54b – who is still king of the hill.

It's Mean to Ween

by Bombilla on Oct 8, 2008 10:00 PM CDT reply reply 0 recs

Extrapolated

May VY be with you.

by BFAUT86 on Oct 8, 2008 10:35 PM CDT reply reply 4 recs

LOVE IT

--PB--

by PB @ BON on Oct 8, 2008 11:11 PM CDT up reply reply 0 recs

Added. Good show. .nt whills

by Horn Brain on Oct 9, 2008 1:41 AM CDT up reply reply 0 recs

Is it just me

Or does DeMarco Murray’s eyebrows look like the horns symbol?

http://sports.espn.go.com/broadband/video/videopage?videoId=3633136&categoryId=2564308&n8pe6c=2

And, oh yeah, what a bore of an interview. ou Sucks!

by UT92 on Oct 8, 2008 11:38 PM CDT reply reply 0 recs

Yep, especially when he raises them.

He’s missing the holes on occasion. I hope other curiosities have noticed this.

by whills on Oct 8, 2008 11:58 PM CDT up reply reply 0 recs

if only all people in oklahoma would be like this...

the population would surely die away…

If You See Kay, Oh You

by texfan23 on Oct 9, 2008 10:58 AM CDT up reply reply 0 recs

OU Sucks

Just joined but have been an orange blood since 1976. Thought you all would like this story. Went to work at a top secret defense plant early in the morning (~0400 am) and went to a special vault, one of the few times, manned 24-7. A dude I knew was in there, and they could not see me yet as I approached, but I heard them talking about OU Football. As you can imagine, at 0400 am in the morning, it was DEAD SILENT except for their speaking. I tiptoed up to the doorway, still out of sight, and yelled in a 110 decibel voice, “OU SUCKS!” before I entered to get some classified material. Then I deadpanned as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred. Believe me, the effect was tremendous.

by epepep on Oct 8, 2008 11:59 PM CDT reply reply 1 recs

lols

by BufreTX on Oct 9, 2008 12:36 AM CDT reply reply 0 recs

OU dog cries for sucking

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBoRilB7lRY

by BufreTX on Oct 9, 2008 12:49 AM CDT reply reply 0 recs

None Suck Better

Paper cuts, lawn darts, silent but deadly farts,
AIDS, Ants, Humidity, John Tesh, Stupidity
Liars, Lies, Lice, Roth
Priapism, Pessimism, The ice monster on Hoth
The Price of Gas, the price of rent…the price is Right, the plague
The Unabomber, Jeffrey Dahmer, sinusitis, Squeaky brakes
Out-of-order ATMS, PMS, MSG,
DUI, Double dippers, Floods, flies, flats, fleas

All of these things they suck it’s true
but none suck more than O.U.

Going bald, halitosis, infomercials, notes with post-its,
Tom Green, earthquakes, Allergies, rats, snakes
Dead beat dads, Celine Dion, car dings, Neon Deon
Fabio, rubberneckers, Taxes, faxes, non sequiturs
404, not found converting Dong to British pounds
Having back hair, being broke, road rage, Religious cults
fraud, crack, warts, Sids, DOS, gnats, war, zits,
Rust, debt, guilt, Spam, Asbestos and dishpan hands

All of these things they suck it’s true
but none suck more than O.U.

Hanson, Charles Manson, Soccer, non-stick pans that stick
Mistaking cooking powdered chocolate when you want a Nestle Quick
Having to work on holidays, hiccups, jock itch, hurricanes
Jihad, the 4th Vacation movie, L R. Hubbard, Nazi’s, pain
Beggars, Bums, and hobos, paparazzi, pop-up ads
Burnt Popcorn, pot holes, propaganda, Botox, bow ties, and boy bands (like New Kidz)
Chiggers, cheaters, beepers, and dry heaving in the can
The spins, and dander and panhandlers, and dandruff, Rather, Dan

All of these things they suck it’s true
but none suck more than O.U.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. If they get mad, you're a mile away AND you have their shoes.

by Caradoc on Oct 9, 2008 1:51 AM CDT reply reply 4 recs