FanPost

Dear Missouri: 35-7

Dear Mizzou,

In 2003, a 32 year old Jason White lead the then undefeated Oklahoma Sooners into Arrowhead Stadium, where he and the rest of his over-hyped Mongoloids were forced to go ass-to-mouth by a quick midget and the letter L.  If you're lucky enough to pick the right dumpster you can ask Teddy Lehman and he'll swear Darren Sproles was covered in eely afterbirth and foaming at the mouth from PCP . 

Dan Cody remembers it differently:

"Ell Roberson took my virginity four times that night.  The color purple still makes my stool watery to this day.  Would you like to value-size?"

Kansas State, built by the meaty hands of Bill Snyder and any JUCO transfer with a prison record, ripped off the left arm of a Sooner juggernaut and proceeded to sodomize Oklahoma with the bloody stump to the tune of 35-7 that night.  Using the pseudo-home field advantage, the Wildcats handled OU's highly touted defense with the speed and dexterity of the Bionic Woman on a handjob train.  The very same home field advantage you will have this Saturday against an OU defense that has repeatedly blown the homeless for cardboard all year long. 

This may be the last time your team is in the position to win a Big 12 championship for decades  Your success won't last, take advantage before you're starting 14 underclassmen next year.  Iron is hot, put Sam Bradford's Navajo face on it. 

Warmest Regards,
TBS

 

Special note to Chase:  Put your fauxhawk and undeserved sense of accomplishment back on after that Kansas loss and get after it this weekend.  You're Dallas baby, act like it. 

 

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