Dear Missouri: 35-7

by Tbone Stallone on Dec 3, 2008 3:58 PM CST

Dear Mizzou,

In 2003, a 32 year old Jason White lead the then undefeated Oklahoma Sooners into Arrowhead Stadium, where he and the rest of his over-hyped Mongoloids were forced to go ass-to-mouth by a quick midget and the letter L. If you're lucky enough to pick the right dumpster you can ask Teddy Lehman and he'll swear Darren Sproles was covered in eely afterbirth and foaming at the mouth from PCP .

Dan Cody remembers it differently:

"Ell Roberson took my virginity four times that night. The color purple still makes my stool watery to this day. Would you like to value-size?"

Kansas State, built by the meaty hands of Bill Snyder and any JUCO transfer with a prison record, ripped off the left arm of a Sooner juggernaut and proceeded to sodomize Oklahoma with the bloody stump to the tune of 35-7 that night. Using the pseudo-home field advantage, the Wildcats handled OU's highly touted defense with the speed and dexterity of the Bionic Woman on a handjob train. The very same home field advantage you will have this Saturday against an OU defense that has repeatedly blown the homeless for cardboard all year long.

This may be the last time your team is in the position to win a Big 12 championship for decades Your success won't last, take advantage before you're starting 14 underclassmen next year. Iron is hot, put Sam Bradford's Navajo face on it.

Warmest Regards,
TBS

Special note to Chase: Put your fauxhawk and undeserved sense of accomplishment back on after that Kansas loss and get after it this weekend. You're Dallas baby, act like it.

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Comments

All-some.

Tbone Stallone, please make more posts. That was excellent.

"Like I said, I'm going to bleed orange until the day I die." -V.Y.

by 4th and 5 on Dec 3, 2008 4:04 PM CST reply reply 0 recs

HAHAHAHA

that was awesome

Hotty Toddy and Hook'em Horns.

by Olemissreb451 on Dec 3, 2008 4:41 PM CST reply reply 0 recs

Big Underdogs

have some history in this game. K-State was a 14 pt underdog in the 2003 game so nicely referenced.

K-State was a 17 point favorite against Aggy in 1998 before being upset.

Last but certainly not least, the Horns were 20.5 point underdogs in the initial championship game in 1996…. “on a roll” anyone…..?

Fauxhawk powers be ignited…

by jtlonghorn on Dec 3, 2008 4:45 PM CST reply reply 0 recs

We miss you.

by billyzane on Dec 3, 2008 4:49 PM CST reply reply 0 recs

Agreed, now I have to go shower.

Perhaps the most recognizable mascot in sports, and certainly the toughest looking, Bevo is a fixture

by run Bevo run on Dec 3, 2008 5:48 PM CST up reply reply 0 recs

wow

thats all i can say.

by kriess on Dec 3, 2008 4:56 PM CST reply reply 0 recs

Hilarious

But I will argue the point that Daniel’s been acting Dallas all along: Choking away big games, nail polish, bitching at his teammates when he plays badly… He’s representing just fine from the looks of it.

That said, Go Tigers, and my God grant Chase Daniel a lead in the fourth quarter so that OU will have a chance to out-choke him.

by Horn Brain on Dec 3, 2008 4:57 PM CST reply reply 0 recs

Dallas Choke?

You must have Dallas confused with Chicago, Seattle or Houston for that matter. Chase Daniels is a winner period. He has been a winner starting back from his first day of pee-wee. I watched him win State and “High School National Titles” at Southlake Carroll. He would have had more if his kicker wouldnt have acted like he was kicking for Florida St againest Miami. He is a winner! There are a hnadful of QB’s that can go head to head with the Big 4. He is one of them. Before anyone says he isnt that good he wont even play in the NFL. His only knock is is height. Drew Brees anyone!

by LEMILES on Dec 4, 2008 12:32 AM CST up reply reply 0 recs

for...

someone that’s watched him so long, you should know it’s Chase DANIEL. Because you’re new, I don’t know if you remember the stat that in college, Daniel has not won when he is losing at halftime (IIRC 0-9). He wins games that he is supposed to (well, not last week), but I don’t think he can bring Mizzou from behind against somebody like OU. That said, like HB, I hope he pulls it off.

About Drew Brees, I don’t think it’s a valid comparison. With Daniel, I see a system guy. Hasn’t he been running that same offense since middle school? Not EVERYONE, runs the spread, so it will be a big adjustment.

by vy til i die on Dec 4, 2008 8:36 AM CST up reply reply 0 recs

I hate that statistic

Did you watch the MU-KU game Saturday? He led four second-half touchdown drives, all of them when his team was trailing, two of them to put his team ahead with less than 6 minutes left in the game. Missouri’s defense blew that game in the fourth quarter. And besides, most players have bad records when they’re behind, because you’re only behind when you’re playing superior teams (esp. in Missouri’s case). He also led a fourth quarter comeback as a freshman.

Oh, and Sam Bradford’s record when behind in the second half? 1-4
Colt McCoy 6-7 (I really can’t believe Texas has trailed in the second half of THIRTEEN games in three years. Really you are lucky you only lost three each in ’06 and ’07

"I have CDO. It's like OCD, but the letters are in alphabetical order. Like they should be."

by BigMOman on Dec 4, 2008 2:08 PM CST up reply reply 0 recs

Or really lucky that we have a QB that can come back and win games.

I saw the MU-KU game and you are right, it was absolutely your defense that let the shortest QB in the Big 12 throw that TD to the best backup QB playing WR in the conference.

by BoddickerIsClutch on Dec 4, 2008 2:31 PM CST up reply reply 2 recs

Rec!

The KU stuff was brilliant. Ryan Tannehill is the new Kerry Meier. (except unfortunately for Ryan, he is also an aggie)

Garrett Gilbert: 2014 NFL Offensive Rookie of the Year

by jordansb on Dec 4, 2008 8:25 PM CST up reply reply 0 recs

umm, I think more credit could be given to "Mr. 4th Quarter" Jamaal Charles

n/t

"I have CDO. It's like OCD, but the letters are in alphabetical order. Like they should be."

by BigMOman on Dec 5, 2008 1:51 PM CST up reply reply 0 recs

Definitely the MVP of the OU game this year. nt

by Meekrob on Dec 5, 2008 2:39 PM CST up reply reply 0 recs

Actually, SLC is north of Ft. Worth. A whole different level of choke and inferiority.

Chase might have a shot at the Mangino sweepstakes in older age. He’s got spread capacity.

by whills on Dec 5, 2008 6:22 PM CST up reply reply 0 recs

Clarification

Are you picking on Southlake Carroll, or Fort Worth?

proud to swim home

by learned hand on Dec 5, 2008 7:04 PM CST up reply reply 0 recs

Why pick on either when just a glance will do? nt

by whills on Dec 5, 2008 7:22 PM CST up reply reply 0 recs

Wily, whills...nt

proud to swim home

by learned hand on Dec 6, 2008 1:51 AM CST up reply reply 0 recs

These are truly the words of an angel. nt

by Meekrob on Dec 3, 2008 5:01 PM CST reply reply 0 recs

Justice, thy name be Bill Snyder

I don’t know how many people know this back story, but in 1998, all that stood between a dominant K-State team and a title shot was a Big XII Championship game against an Aggie team fresh off a loss to the Ricky record setting Horns.

But a funny thing happened on the way to St. Louis that year…Bob Stoops was named head coach of the Sooners and eager Bob couldn’t wait until afterward to pillage Snyder’s staff to fill in his assistant coaching vacancies…Mike Stoops was one and I want to say Mangino and Leach might have been too.

Well as news travels fast, Wildcats players got wind of it and had a near mutiny in the locker room during halftime. Rumor has it one of the players took Mike Stoops and rammed him into a locker. Afterwards, they came out and played like dog shit as A&M beat them in overtime sending the Cats to the Alamo Bowl of all places.

Fortunately, Snyder would get some revenge with that 35-7 ass whipping in 2003 even though the Sooners would still get to play in the title game.

I don’t know what Stoops ever did to Pinkle or Mizzou, but hopefully there’s another upset brewing.

Be nobody but yourself in a world that desperately wants you to be like everybody else.

by 54b on Dec 3, 2008 6:55 PM CST reply reply 0 recs

Mike Stoops

looks like the offspring of Drew Carey and an inbred springer spaniel.

Remember how dumb Michael Bishop sounded back then; he made Peter Warrick look like a fucking doctor of physics. Proud product of Blinn.

by Tbone Stallone on Dec 3, 2008 7:20 PM CST reply reply 0 recs

MIchael Bishop

Man, I remember tackling him in junior high… York Eagles represent! Kid got good at Willis. Wasn’t he on the Patriots for a brief second?

by A-Tex Devil on Dec 4, 2008 10:45 AM CST up reply reply 0 recs

Mizzou may be an underdog, BUT...

…with so many people playing for their only shot at a Conference title, and being pissed about the last minute loss to Kansas in the Border War, I think they’ll actually put up a pretty good fight. Plus, the crowd should be in their favor.

by KevinJ on Dec 3, 2008 7:27 PM CST reply reply 0 recs

Wow and I was censured for inappropriate comments?

by Randyy on Dec 3, 2008 10:19 PM CST reply reply 0 recs

You can be censored, a force of nature cannot...nt whills

proud to swim home

by learned hand on Dec 3, 2008 10:57 PM CST up reply reply 0 recs

lol

by TheElusiveShadow on Dec 4, 2008 12:03 AM CST up reply reply 0 recs

a force of nature - Oklahoma - beat the best team in Texas 65-21... nt whills

by Randyy on Dec 4, 2008 11:22 PM CST up reply reply 0 recs

Blowing wind is a force of nature

That same “force” lost to what apparently is not the best team in Texas, 45-35.

SCOREBOARD!

by Meekrob on Dec 5, 2008 7:25 AM CST up reply reply 0 recs

Definition check!

Censure

Censor

Not sure which definition you meant, but my guess is that it wasn’t the one you said.

by billyzane on Dec 4, 2008 11:01 AM CST up reply reply 0 recs

Legit shot!!

Bradfords bad thumb Mizzou DEFENSE go after it!!!! Maclin on kick off returns!!!! Remember Shipley and Okie State returned one last week on that week OU special team!!! Chase rip that OU defense a new one!!!! Go Mizzou!!!

by TexasStateHorn on Dec 4, 2008 9:17 AM CST reply reply 0 recs

Agreed

If Mizzou pulls off the miracle, I think Maclin will have more to do with it than Chase — reverses, jail breaks and screens, and, of course, kick returns.

by A-Tex Devil on Dec 4, 2008 10:46 AM CST up reply reply 0 recs

Agreed

Bradford got lucky on a couple of fumbles because of his thumb last week.

Garrett Gilbert: 2014 NFL Offensive Rookie of the Year

by jordansb on Dec 4, 2008 1:07 PM CST up reply reply 0 recs

My understanding is Mizzou and the Chiefs are having trouble selling their ticket allotments out and OU sold all theirs in a heartbeat and are buying Chiefs tickets. I wouldn’t count on KC being a home field for Mizzou.

I mean, what else are people going to do in Oklahoma this weekend? They’ve already driven out all the gay people so their primary sport of gay bashing is out.

by hodad on Dec 4, 2008 11:18 AM CST reply reply 0 recs