My Dream for 2009
Here's my view of a perfect 2009
January 1- Thayer Evans gets canned.
January 5- Texas beats Ohio State by 40 in the Fiesta Bowl. OU fans continue to rub their success in our faces.
January 8- OU gets absolutely destroyed in the MNC by a Florida team with Bradford getting sacked 8 times.
January 9- Not a single OU fan leaves his house. Ever.
February 8 (national signing day)- JaMarkus McFarland gets up on the podium in full OU jumpsuit to officially commit to the Sooners. He rips it off, a la Ryan Perilloux. Underneath? Western Illinois gear. He's gonna be a Leatherneck.
March 15- Middle of Spring Break. Still no sign of the Sooners.
April 25- Brian Orakpo is drafted third overall by the Kansas City Chiefs. Quan Cosby is taken by them in the third round and Roy Miller is picked up in the seventh round. With Derrick Johnson, Derek Lokey, and Jamaal Charles already on their roster, say hello to Team Texas.
May 17- Bobby Petrino gets money whipped away from Arkansas and becomes an Aggie, only to ditch them three days later to coach high school football in Nome, Alaska.
June 12- Mark Mangino decides to donate his food for a day to the starving children in Africa. Bill Gates asks for his old job back.
June 30- Sam Bradford comes out of hiding for just a minute to check his email. To his horror, he finds out that he has been drafted by the Detroit Lions.
August 1- Summer practices begin to heat up. Sergio Kindle is bit by a spider and is suddenly able to bench 700, climb over opposing offensive tackles and date red headed chicks.
September 5- Happy 23rd, Colt! As his gift to the fans, Colt McCoy decides to give every male Texas fan an exact clone of his girlfriend. Cha-ching.
October 10- Screams of "45-35" are silenced. Replacing them are screams of "78-0".
October 20- The first BCS rankings are relased. In order to make up for past wrongs, OU is declared ineligible to play in the title game.
November 7- Texas is finally allowed to avenge its 2008 loss to Texas Tech. Blake Gideon records 5 interceptions.
November 30- After going undefeated, Texas secures a spot in the National Championship game against Florida. 11-1 OU is passed over by 8-4 Nebraska for a spot in the Fiesta Bowl.
December 15- Citing "religious reasons", Tim Tebow backs out of the Title Game and flies to New Guinea to begin a new life.
December 31- Still no sign of the Sooners.
All comments, FanPosts, and FanShots are the views of the reader-authors who create them.
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23 comments
Comments
Are you crazy? They never get 78. Seventy-seven maybe.
Unless, of course, they just go for two at the last just to make you happy.
(Actually, 45+35 = 80, a nice round number. Of course, you’d want 81, so maybe 78 is a good compromise.)
HNY09
hook ’em
by whills on
Dec 31, 2008 9:46 PM CST
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Gotta go for the style point.
Happy New Year BONiacs!
by horndude on
Dec 31, 2008 10:00 PM CST
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"Blake Gideon records 5 interceptions"
haha
by clra2 on
Jan 1, 2009 12:43 AM CST
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new entry
well i think that on july 28 manuel johnson should get drafted by the ny giants except he gets an email a week later and the email says that quan cosby has also been drafted and that the giants would not like big babies so the job goes to cosby.
by jayan on
Jan 1, 2009 3:03 PM CST
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My 2009 Dream Would Be
Texas beats the living snot out of Oklahoma 66-0, JMac has a career ending freak injury with one of Bevo’s horns stuck up his ass, while at the same time this occurs theres a shit load of chicks in the stand getting boozed up and pleasuring there selves. JMac’s mom, momma Kash gets brought up on charges along with that douche bag Thayer Evans. And OU still sucks ass
by kcmorse on
Jan 1, 2009 3:24 PM CST
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I'm not gonna like Rachel Glandorf is pretty hot...
by boommotherfcker on
Jan 1, 2009 7:37 PM CST
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OU Down in 2009
OU may have one returning starter on offense in 2009. Too bad that Bradford is projected as very high draft prospect – unlike McCoy.
by Wichita Lineman on
Jan 4, 2009 1:02 AM CST
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ou sucks
bradford will go the the nfl and we will anal r@pe them in the red river shootout with shipley and mccoy back.
by ousucks on
Jan 4, 2009 9:24 PM CST
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to start off the year...
Deon Beasley delivers a text book form tackle in the open field on beanie wells that forces a fumble….
by andmyster on
Jan 5, 2009 10:30 AM CST
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i have to say
this wasnt what i had written in my “Jan 5” entry, but it will do
by acho81 on
Jan 5, 2009 11:12 PM CST
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OK one last wish...
Florida 45 – OU 35
Now that would be delicious!
by dee gee on
Jan 7, 2009 9:31 PM CST
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At least it was 10 point differential. NT
ATX
by Atownatx on
Jan 9, 2009 12:16 PM CST
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Right on one point at least...
it’s nothing but a dream. It will slowly develop into a nightmare. The team you fear most will be there, turning your nightmare into full reality. No BCS Championship, no Big 12 Championship,again.
by ejone on
Jan 10, 2009 3:50 PM CST
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Troll Alert
ejone – “Hmm, sitting here on a Saturday afternoon eating deep fried mayonnaise balls in my trailer ain’t much fun anymore now that my Sooners lost their 5th BCS Bowl game in a row, I’m going to go troll me some Longhorn sites and get everyone all riled up!”
It doesn’t matter what you say, Texas won their BCS Bowl and watched OU spend more time on their knees than Jenna Jameson for the 5th straight BCS Bowl game. Bottom line is, I wouldn’t be talking trash right now, your team ain’t getting any better and Texas already beat em when they were good. Let’s revisit this discussion after the game in October.
"Stats are for losers, I like winning games."
by bendj on
Jan 10, 2009 4:07 PM CST
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No trash, just fact,Benji
When you have 7 national Championships, 6 Big 12 championships and at least played in another 3 get back to me. I already addressed the troll issue. Here’s another fact for you. I pulled for your team in the Feista Bowl. I hoped that the Longhorns would win. At the end of the season I become a Big 12 fan, hoping they all win so we can show the rest of the conferences how football should be played. This year OSU, OU and TT let us all down. After reading the posts that your fellow “fans” spit out, “sitting in a trailer, eating fried mayonnaise balls” is more preferable. I am glad you have a dream. Just remember I told you it won’t come true. If it does I’ll be back later this year telling you that you were right. Good enough. By the way. Congratulations on the last second win over Ohio state;>)
by ejone on
Jan 10, 2009 5:28 PM CST
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national championships
if you go before the era of the ap poll, you will see that texas had 7 undefeated seasons in that time compared to ou’s 3. grand total: texas 11, Ou 10. 11>10
by acho81 on
Jan 11, 2009 3:01 PM CST
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Obviously, You Have Learned Nothing
Math is not relevant in college football. 45>35, 11>10, hah! All meaningless.
Everything is going fuzzy in the world today. Men can become women. A bean can be transformed into meat. The end of rational mathematics is just the next logical extension of this trend.
by Tackchevy on
Jan 12, 2009 3:17 PM CST
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