2007 College Football Blogger Awards Presentation: Best Post - Funniest

by Peter Bean on Mar 3, 2008 9:17 AM CST in Texas Longhorns Football

The voting is finished and it's time to present this year's College Football Blogger Awards. Where possible, last year's winner, ineligible to win this year, will be presenting the award to this year's winner. Please check in at Rocky Top Talk and EDSBS for a schedule of all the awards to be presented over the next two days.

The next award presentation - for "Best Post of the Year: Analysis" - will be in one hour at MGoBlog

AWARD PRESENTATION: "BEST POST OF THE YEAR: HUMOR"

2007 Nominees

Arrested Development explains the SEC, by The Joe Cribbs Car Wash

Enter the Octonion, by Troy Nunes is an Absolute Magician

If the Members of the Big 10 Were Cars or Car-Like Substances, by Black Heart Gold Pants (f/k/a The Hawkeye Compulsion)

I Picked the Wrong Weekend to Visit the Lake, by Sunday Morning Quarterback

Who’s Now: Tom Brady versus Galactus, by Every Day Should Be Saturday

2007 WINNERS

2007 RUNNER UP: "Arrested Development Explains the SEC" by The Joe Cribbs Car Wash

The "College Football Teams as Illnesses/TV Characters/Salad Dressings" posts have been done to death in many regards. No longer unique as a concept, posts in this style now have to be thrillingly funny and/or well-thought out to be notable. Which Joe Cribbs' Arrested Development piece is in spades.

A snippet (read the whole post):

KENTUCKY = TOBIAS

The whole blue thing would be enough, really. That and that the program has been a Tobias-quality laughingstock for the overwhelming majority of its days, expecting the likes of Tim Couch and Hal Mumme to keep them aloft as they leap off the stairwell, then murmuring "We shan’t be telling ~~your mother~~ the NCAA about this, shan’t we?"

But past that, consider that both Kentucky football and Tobias live in a constant state of denial. Kentucky states over and over again it’s not just a basketball school, oh no, very interested in football. Definitely not only interested in basketball. Just as Tobias is totally devoted to making his marriage work and is a 100 percent heterosexual analrapist. Forgive me, but as Dave Attell so memorably put it, "If that school’s man’s ~~into football~~ straight, then I’m sober."

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2007 WINNER: "Who's Now: Tom Brady vs Galactus" by EDSBS

Ineligible to win the "Funniest Blog" award, it's right and proper that college football's funniest blogger is the winner of the "Funniest Post" award this year. If, by chance, you haven't read this post yet... good God, leave this post immediately and go read it. The impeccable dialogue, perfect structure, and subtle running themes that tie the piece together make this one of the best parody pieces I've ever read. Anywhere, about anything.

Also, this:

Megan: I have no idea what you guys are talking about right now. You know what, though? I like pickles. Just love them. You can’t eat them because they make you fat, like bread.

Mike G, looking desperate: Who doesn’t like pickles? I mean, come on. They’re delicious, right?

Surfer: (raises hand, looks sheepish.)

Stu: Really? Hate for pickles, then?

Surfer: THEIR DESTRUCTION IN THE GULLET OF GALACTUS WILL BRING ME NO SORROW. BY THE WAY, WHICH EYE SHOULD I LOOK AT?

Stu: (dejected.) The left one’s fine, man. Just look there.

Mike G, to Megan, leaning in: Seriously. Two minutes. That’s all I need. You won’t even remember it.

Megan: What?

Surfer: THANKS, STU. THAT WAS HAUNTING ME THERE FOR A MINUTE.

Congratulations to all of the 2007 nominees, and to our two winners.

--PB--

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