Obviously #2 would have to be Nick Saban because he wouldn’t stick around and doesn’t have time for that shit, that ‘shit’ being you.

Bastard.

I missed this again.

Are you guys changing the time? Or is it me?

Arggggh.

1. What football coach would be the best surrogate father?

Mike Leach, obv.

1. Pete Carroll: Laid back attitude, access to Song Girls, Always willing to give his players the benefit of the doubt, even when its obvious they’re guilty, and he plays some cool practical jokes
2. Coach Fran: No job, no sense of humor, would sell your innermost secrets to anybody who cared for a modest subscription fee to his email newsletter.
3. Growing up in El Paso, UTEP was just plain awful in college football. My dad’s an alumni and has had season tickets for years. Desperate to fill the stadium, UTEP had a promotion where fans would get into a game for free as long as they took a canned food item to the gate. I remember sitting with my dad in his usual seats, bitterly watching BYU destroy UTEP. My dad sat through some long, hard seasons at UTEP. We’re talking 1-11 being normal, but he never gave up on them. Anyway, as the home fans started booing the home team after yet another BYTY touchdown, he stood up and yelled back at them, “What do you expect for a can of beans!!!!” Simply, awesome.
4. By the time I have children there will be a playoff in college football. so I will explain to him why some seasons have 2 National Champions. I will explain how the BCS was eventually crumbled after years of political pressure, a massive class action lawsuit, and widespread protest after the nation was forced to watch Fresno State play UConn for the National Title in one of 9 BCS games.

1. Best surrogate father…. Mack Brown. Just a great guy, and very honest.
2. Worst surrogate father… Mark Mangino….. Bad Genes
3. When I was little, I played soccer on a club team. One day my team had a game and it just happened to be during the Texas/OU game. My dad asked if I wanted to skip the soccer game, and go to applebees and watch the Texas game. I said no, but then he reminded me, with his great wisdom, that Texas plays Oklahoma only once a year. I would have another soccer game the next weekend. So it was only logical not to miss the Texas game. So while my soccer team was sweating on the field, me and my dad were chillin at Applebees, eating ribs, and watching OU win their first game against Texas that began their 5 game streak…. And I wouldn’t have had it any other way…
4. What essential lessons will I instill in my child??? You mean besides “Texas is all powerful and the best team of all-time”?? I will tell my children that College football is what makes America great. It’s the rivalries, the emotion, the integrity, the tradition, and the loyalty. Good things to live by in life as well… Your season might not always go the way you want it too, but you watch your team anyways, and if you lose, you congratulate your opponent and get ready for next year.

1. Best surrogate father – Mack Brown
2. Worst surrogate father – Mike Gundy. I wouldn’t want to make him mad for fear of getting a ranting schpeal about becoming a "Man".
Runners Up:
Mike Price – you don’t want to "Make it rain" around the kids
Ron Price – because he’s ugly
4. My dad was an Illinois alum and hated the Buckeyes. I grew up in Ohio and he made sure we wore blue on Mich-tOSU gameday. It must have almost killed him when all my siblings got their undergrads at tOSU. Needless to say he wears burnt orange now.
5. As a future father I’ll make sure my kids take no interest in EVER applying to TAMU or OU. They’ll be sure to visit DKR early in life. Hopefully I’ll have more MNCs to talk about by then!

1. Mack Brown is my first answer for all the obvious reasons – class, character. A very close second would Chris Peterson, head coach for Boise State. The guy is a young version of Coach Brown and you have to love anyone who can put the wood to ou like he did in the now famous Fiesta Bowl.
2. I vote Bobby Bowden for worst surrogate father. Not only does he qualify more for grandfather or great grandfather age-wise, but you wouldn’t really know when he’s going to farm it out to Jimbo Fisher, surrrogate father-in-waiting.
3. College football was one of the few things my dad and I could relate to, although as a Kansas grad, he had lost the football faith.
4. My kids will learn that Texas football rules and OU sucks. Here in Idaho, you can always spot my son as the lone speck of burnt orange in a sea of BSU blue shirts. At the tender ages of 9 and 6, both kids visited the hallowed grounds of DKR and all things UT and are begging to go back a year later. I think they deserve a trip to Austin in the fall for a game.

1. This is probably cheating b/c he’s actually a friend of the family but….Joe Paterno.

2. Seriously? Lou Holtz. He’s one of the few coaches I’ve seen who I really think doesn’t give a flying f*ck about his players.

3. 1998, I call my father before the Big 12 Championship game against Kansas State. I ask him if A&M pulls the upset, if he’d take the family to New Orleans for the Sugar Bowl. He says in the unlikely event that that happens, sure. We win, and I head out to the bars to celebrate; still one of the funnest nights of my life. The next day, I get a call from my mother. My father had attended one of those work Christmas parties that my mother always made him go to, which he loathed. My father had watched the end of the game on a television located near the ballroom, and then was strutting around the room afterwards, telling anyone who would listen that he was taking his sons to New Orleans for the Sugar Bowl. Considering how little my father liked these parties, socializing with people he didn’t know, this was an awesome departure. We went to New Orleans and had a terrific time partying with the Ohio State fans, before and after the game.

4. College football is the truly American game. Football is the greatest sport ever invented, and it was started at the college level, which makes college football the purest form of the sport. My kids will know college football history, and won’t have any desire to attend any school in Austin.

They’ll know about Darrell Royal getting y’all put on probation, don’t worry.