So ya think you're bad

by 54b on Jun 27, 2008 4:45 PM CDT in Football Comment 34 comments

My ears are ringing..probably because PB just turned on the 54-Bat Signal...must be trouble at the BON (just look at the cases of insipient verbal diarhea on this comment thread). What is it Lassie? BON posters aren't playing nice? Beergut is on the loose again? They're arguing over what constitutes a bad fan?

You know what I say to that?

Bevo, please...leaving games early, cursing in front of the little kids, expressing your desire to procreate through obscene hand gestures aimed at opposing fans...please, where I come from, we call that a lazy Saturday.

Come on, it happens.

Plus, that's why God created Sundays...so we could choose contrition over sedition and head to confession, Lawrence "Chunk" Cohen style...

54b: Worst Fan Ever

(Like anybody could know that)

“Hey, 54b, we want you to spill your guts...tell us everything.”

“Everything?”

“Everything.”

“Everything, okay, I’ll talk...in 3rd Grade I ran onto the lime green astroturf field at Memorial stadium after a game and pushed my little brother down and took his plastic football. When one of the Texas players said I should say I'm sorry and give the football back, I told him my brother was a Razorback fan and he smiled and signed the ball, ‘Nice going, Ken Hackemack.’

During a game in 7th Grade, I told the Cotton Candy vendor that the old man at the end of the row wanted to buy whatever he had left even though I knew Mr. Johnson was a diabetic.

In 11th Grade, I poured out my friend’s contact lens solution into a plastic cup full of Coke under the seat of the guy in front of me so I could replace it with Captain Morgan. About 15 mintues later, I was tipsy and the guy in front of me was holding his stomach and clinching his butt cheeks.

When I was a walk-on in 1995, we were beating Texas Tech 48-7 with two minutes left when I told my friend that coach said ‘put on your helmet and get ready to go in’ after I rubbed smelling salts all over his chin strap.

In 2003, I went to a Baylor game in Waco and told the impressionable tweener sitting in front of me that God had forsaken the Bears because she danced at the Lock-In the night before.

But the worst thing I ever done was before the TX/OU game in 2006. I stole a cooler of Jell-O shots from the girls tailgating next to us when they went to the bathroom and I blamed on two Sooner fans. Then when they went to complain, I ate their Jell-O shots and went into the Cotton Bowl and then at halftime, I made this noise....whoooaaaa, whooooooaaaaa, whoooooooaaaaaaaaaaa...and I puked homogenized corndog-fried snicker-funnel cakes all over the seats in front of me while those people were at the concession stands and I left without trying to clean it up. And as my wife was dragging me out of stadium to drive me home, I told a cop I had the Avian Flu so he wouldn’t arrest me for public intox.”

Now, don’t you all feel better about yourselves. I thought so.

You see, Burnt Orange People like getting violently drunk, verbally abusive, and unapologetically crass. It’s just our way of drinking, I mean showing school spirit.

Is that a poor excuse and a telltale sign that our society as a whole is on the precipice of moral turpitude? Probably. But if you’re worried about Longhorns fans reputation as a whole, just remember this, history says we can’t call a problem an epidemic if it’s tradition.

Hook’em, BONers!!!

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In 2003, I went to a Baylor game in Waco and told the impressionable tweener sitting in front of me that God had forsaken the Bears because she danced at the Lock-In the night before.

ROTFLMAOWTSDMF!!!!

by Beergut on Jun 27, 2008 4:56 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

54b

You and me have more in common than you can imagine.

by texasfan05 on Jun 27, 2008 5:10 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Hey, you're never alone on the BON

Something tells me there’s a little bad fan in all of us…we should good in touch with him, forgive him, and buy him a beer.

Besides, Burnt Orange People like to say, “fans who cheer in glass houses shouldn’t taunt those of us drunk enough to throw stones.”

I think that’s how it goes anyway.

Be nobody but yourself in a world that desperately wants you to be like everybody else.

by 54b on Jun 27, 2008 5:27 PM CDT up reply actions 3 recs

That's pretty well done.

Go register. Or else.

by Skin Patrol on Jun 27, 2008 6:18 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

I remember the critical vantage point

of “attending” games at Posse East.

Those late summer games against bad ooc opponents in the early 70s, when the nights were still hot and sticky, just seemed to be a natural compromise with cool pitchers outside with good company. When the wind was right, you could hear Wally Pryor and the crowd cheering to supplement the radio broadcast. You could always abuse the stragglers leaving the stadium early.

by whills on Jun 27, 2008 6:23 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Yeah

I was there too, whills, blogging away on the deck over a warm pitcher of Schlitz.

Hey kids, care to guess which generation of good fans had more fun?

I think the beerguts call this New Army vs. Old Army?

by horndude on Jun 27, 2008 8:00 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Yeah, horndude

I’m on whichever side that doesn’t drink warm pitchers of Schlitz.

No matter how bad my inner fan, I’d never subject him to that kind of Brazos abuse. Those 70s bloggers were a bad lot – and secret pencil lovers, to boot.

by whills on Jun 27, 2008 9:57 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

sweet story

During a game in 7th Grade, I told the Cotton Candy vendor that the old man at the end of the row wanted to buy whatever he had left even though I knew Mr. Johnson was a diabetic.

That was so sweet, it gave me diabetes.

Perhaps the most recognizable mascot in sports, and certainly the toughest looking, Bevo is a fixture

by run Bevo run on Jun 27, 2008 8:40 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

thanks

i think i may have just cried from laughing so hard.

by afaeguy on Jun 28, 2008 12:06 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Would be good to know

Could one of our stat freaks look this up—in the past 10 years, how many home losses have the Horns suffered that were close enough where more crowd noise could have possibly made a difference?

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. If they get mad, you're a mile away AND you have their shoes.

by Caradoc on Jun 28, 2008 9:24 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

We're only talking six losses in 10 years

so this should be pretty ease to parse.

There were no home losses in six of the 10 seasons: 1998, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2004 and 2005. You could target certain wins that the crowd may have influenced.

The losses:
2007 KSU, 41-21, Sept 29
2006 tOSU, 24-7, Sept. 9
A&M, 12-7, Nov. 24
2003 Arkansas, 38-28, Sept. 13
1999 N. Carolina St., 23-20, Aug. 28
Kansas State, 35-17, Oct. 2

Note that four of those came early in the season.
99 NCSt – blocked kicks were the difference; probably nothing crowd could have done.
99 KSU – The ‘Cats were more powerful and left no doubt about it.
03 Arkansas – The crowd couldn’t stop the Hog QB no matter what. Texas underestimated Hogs.
06 tOSU – Texas just didn’t have the firepower or the D.
06 A&M – I was there and everyone yelled great. It didn’t help. Needed good #2 QB, needed to score on goal line early.
07 KSU – already noted in comments; rain; rabid crowd that stayed. Not as crazed as those at Missouri game in 90s when big T-storm hit. Crowd couldn’t stop KSU blitzes or Jordy Nelson.

So, chew on these bones.

by whills on Jun 28, 2008 3:09 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Good stuff

If I had had to guess how many home games Mack’s teams had lost at Texas, I probably would have come up with a number around six, but it wasn’t until I read the title of your post that it really hit home how remarkable the last ten years have been…perhaps even more impressive is Brown’s overall record of 103-25 (.805 winning percentage) over that span.

And while I don’t discount the home field advantage, I agree with your assessment…the fans had little if anything to do with the outcomes and except for the NC State and A&M losses (which were the result of losing focus), I think we simply got beat by the better team on those days.

Moreover, I refuse to be overly critical of our fan base or try to draw conclusions about how we as fans could have or should have effected the outcomes of games. The game is still won or lost on the field and I’ve seen too many games from several vantage points to think any differently.

Even though we don’t like to admit it, Longhorns fans are still human. And while succumbing to the foibles of human nature should never serve as an excuse for leaving games early, getting down on the coaches and players after losses, lashing out at opposing fans because of our own insecurities and fear that this latest loss may be a slippery slope back to the late 80’s, etc., I think you’ll find that we’re really no different than most every other fan base of historically successful teams.

And despite all the winning we’ve experienced, it’s no secret that Burnt Orange People like sporting a self-depricating mentality in the presence of others because it’s often times the only defense mechanism we have against a fate worse than losing, and that’s feeling nothing at all

(Might explain why we’re drunk all the time too.)

Be nobody but yourself in a world that desperately wants you to be like everybody else.

by 54b on Jun 28, 2008 4:52 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

I agree with what you're saying.

Fans were really more lackadaisical in the mid-60s (‘65, 66 and 67) and downright despond until ‘68 and the Wishbone. But even in later decades they were also so cool and detached. Mack actually got students and alumni more involved and that really impressed me.

Personally, I think they’ve really screwed the students out of good seats just for the money. My daughters and all their student friends had this as a #1 beef. That is unconscionable as far as I’m concerned. If you can’t honor your students, your arrogance will catch up with you.

The hard truth probably is great games create great crowds. I’ve been at games where the crowd seems to make a difference but that takes a real contest and deep involvement. One of the best collegiate games I ever saw at DKR-Memorial was a 10-7 loss to Houston. I think you hit it when you said that you got to feel something to be involved. Playing scrub teams is not such an inducement.

Now, OT, if you were there in ‘95, did you have any contact with the turncoat player? I can’t even remember his name. I know he let Tech score that TD in the 48-7 loss. That was truly one of the most bizarre incidents ever in college football.

by whills on Jun 28, 2008 5:32 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Also agree

Mack has made a big difference on getting the fans involved. I remember the ‘66 Arkansas game (my freshman year). There was more red than orange in the stands, as almost no one wore orange back then, and the Hog fans were louder. It was sad.

by Longhorn in Canada on Jun 28, 2008 11:48 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

I remember that game.

Students didn’t think it was cool to wear burnt orange. Only certain alumni could be seen wearing the orange. Darrell had actually brought the burnt orange back from oblivion when he came in (‘57); they stopped wearing it in the 1930s when the dye got too expensive. So there didn’t seem to be much tradition in that choice…

Arkansas was their loud, obnoxious selves and they beat us, too. I had gone to Dallas the weekend before and the Horns lost 18-9 in one of their worst games. That was a bad two-fer. The Horns lost four of the first seven and that was so disappointing.

by whills on Jun 29, 2008 12:21 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

The word at the time was

that Darrell brought back Burnt Orange because it helped disguise the football on handoffs or fakes. The jerseys are remarkaby close to the color of a football. Whether true or not, it is an example of how Coach Royal thought. As a well respected sportswriter (who loved TCU, not UT) once said: I know as much as the next man about football, unless the next man is Darrell Royal.

by Longhorn in Canada on Jun 30, 2008 8:19 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Turncoat player?

I dont know if I have heard about this. Please explain.

by Wells on Jun 29, 2008 6:47 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

maybe

he was referring to McKelvey? Wasn’t that his name, Ron McKelvey?

by cheevyjames on Jun 29, 2008 9:39 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Ron Weaver, aka. Ron McKelvey, aka "The Roster Imposter"

Didn’t really know him, but he seemed like a nice enough guy. He kept to himself mostly (for obvious reasons).

Call him what you will but I wouldn’t refer to him as a “turncoat.” In fact, he was kind of the opposite…he wanted to play for the Horns so badly he assumed another person’s identity just so he could regain his eligibility and keep playing ball…though that would be glamorizing it too much and I think his real motive was monetary (as all things tend to be) as he was hoping to get another shot a possibly getting drafted.

I think what fans are most upset with him for (and rightfully so) is the fact that his dishonesty could have forfeitted the games he appeared in if the NCAA had wanted to get tough and he was taking a scholarship away from someone else more deserving.

Definitely an odd situation, especially when it broke just a day before the Sugar Bowl. Just made a wild week in New Orleans even wilder.

Burnt Orange People like moxy and they’ll forgive overzealousness in the name of chasing a dream, but they won’t suffer a phoney.

Be nobody but yourself in a world that desperately wants you to be like everybody else.

by 54b on Jun 29, 2008 10:43 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Turncoat may have been too strong

and imposter is really correct. The Horns were lucky not to have to forfeit games but it was the action of a misguided individual and not the program. He only participated in three games in ‘95 (Hawaii, Tech, Houston via participation reports) that I can find.

I think it was more the shock and controversy just before the Sugar Bowl game, which Texas lost to VT, 28-10, and then the situation served as a convenient scape goat for some (in lieu of VT second-half D).

I’ve never seen any research on this, but pre-bowl surprises tend to go hand-in-hand with losses, perhaps dealing with interrupting team attention and focus.

You’re right in the sense it was an audacious scheme, and he maintained it well the whole time. Being a player in high school who really wanted to get on the field at the next level, I can understand the drive to do so. If you were athletic, had some speed and talent and got some rewards in HS, it was a tough thing to leave football behind. I had a better shot at baseball; interviewed with Bibb Faulk, was offered to walk on, and got a 1/3 rd scholarship offer from SWT when they started their program my sophomore year. None of it happened, one of my regrets and solely my own fault. I did use the experience to counsel my nephew to go to OU when he got his one chance. He didn’t play much and transferred to another school, but he took his shot. You do what you can and if you screw up, you still can offer good advise re: your own mistakes.

Thanks for the comment. Just curious.

by whills on Jun 29, 2008 4:38 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

why would you counsel your nephew to go to OU???

you got some splannin’ to do!..lol

by vy til i die on Jun 29, 2008 6:03 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Ouch. I thought someone might catch that.

He was at a small but good baseball school and did well. OU was the only upper division school to make him an offer. So, it was OU or nothing at that point. I set aside my disdain for OU in this case, for I wanted the kid to get the best shot possible.

If he had gotten to play a lot and especially if he’d played a role in beating Texas, I knew I would have to eat my fair share of shit. But that didn’t happen.

The welfare and future of our children and kin often have more importance over our own simple concerns, so if I have to give it up here, I’ll do so willingly. That was the risk I took.

by whills on Jun 29, 2008 6:28 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Thanks, whills

I suspected as much.

On behalf of the ‘picnic’ fans, I should add that they do fill the seats, they do wear the colors, and they do pay the big bucks it takes to finance the program.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. If they get mad, you're a mile away AND you have their shoes.

by Caradoc on Jun 29, 2008 10:42 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

54b school of fandom

Sounds just like me, minus any kind of football ability. Back in the Mackovic era, we knew the team stunk up the place, so we went to the games to get roaringly drunk, curse the lousy play of the defense, and take liberties with our dates. I fondly remember 1994, taunting the aggie corps of cadets marching down to memorial stadium, losing the game (badly), and taunting them after the game. They looked so hurt, with confused “but we won” expressions on thier faces. They, like many of the “bad fan” posters, don’t realize that being a vulgar, obnoxious drunk is its own reward. I think Patton said it best “Humble in victory, proud in defeat, and tanked up regardless”

If I am elected mayor, my first official act will be to kill the lot of you and burn your town to cinders

by 98horn on Jun 28, 2008 3:34 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

somehow I doubt this

They looked so hurt, with confused "but we won" expressions on thier faces.

They were probably too busy doing the Lambada on the memorial stadium turf to hear anything you were saying.
Sounds like revisionist history on your part.

by Beergut on Jun 28, 2008 6:05 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Revisionist History: Not So Much

No, they were confused. We were jeering. Considering that they were on our turf, and surrounded by 50,000+ misanthrops still pissed about aggies harrassing some longhorn co-eds the year before for walking on the grass or something equally stupid, I think they pretty cowed. Since you weren’t there, maybe you should shut the ** up.

If I am elected mayor, my first official act will be to kill the lot of you and burn your town to cinders

by 98horn on Jun 28, 2008 10:53 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs

obviously

you’ve never heard the claims that the Aggie football team was dancing on the field following the ‘94 beatdown of texas.

still pissed about aggies harrassing some longhorn co-eds the year before for walking on the grass or something equally stupid

I’ve never heard about this: story or link to story?

Since you weren’t there, maybe you should shut the ** up.

Wow, sounds like you’re as tough on the internet as you are following an ass-stomping.

by Beergut on Jun 29, 2008 5:16 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

pot, kettle, black

you must be a big man on the internets to go around describing people as females and insulting their fathers.

by jc25 on Jun 30, 2008 11:29 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Tough guy

I doubt you ever dished out an ass-stomping in your life. And yeah-aggies showing a lack of class is not surprising.

Wow, sounds like you’re as tough on the internet as you are following an ass-stomping.

Pussybaskets like you love to hide behind the internet. That’s why you come on to the oppossing team’s board and stir up s**t. Don’t go away mad Beergut, just go away.

If I am elected mayor, my first official act will be to kill the lot of you and burn your town to cinders

by 98horn on Jun 30, 2008 1:07 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs

Now, now

Jeers and taunts toward the opposing fans (as opposed to the team) are the sort of poor sportsmanship we are so quick to complain about when it is directed at us. Same goes for profanity when kids are at the game. You can be civil, but still enthusiastic. And after all, it’s just a game.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. If they get mad, you're a mile away AND you have their shoes.

by Caradoc on Jun 29, 2008 10:46 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

That's why I respect Nebraska fans so much.

They chose to demonstrate good sportsmanship and follow through.

I’ve seen many bad crowds and have always felt that doesn’t honor the game or the players well. I don’t have a problem with intensity or words thrown about in the heat of the action, especially in a rivalry game.

It’s the gratuitous comments and actions that are unnecessary. If I covered a game with a bad crowd, I’d say so in the body of the story; no one gets a bye on that crap as far as I’m concerned. It is just a game with young people at the HS and collegiate level. Sportsmanship is one of the backbones of the value system that football embodies.

by whills on Jun 29, 2008 4:54 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

too be fair

I think the Nebraska sportsmanship claims are way overrated.
I think it was very easy to be a gracious fan and gracious host when you won 9 games a season for 30+ consecutive years. It is easy to be a gracious host when you don’t think you’ll ever lose a game at home.
Nebraska fans are the first to whine and cry about being treated poorly by opposing fans following a loss. They didn’t win the game, so they try to claim the almighty ‘sportsmanship’ trophy.
As their program went down the tubes under Solich and Callahan, I think it has been shown that Nebraska fans aren’t different than any other fanbase.
Also, I can’t respect a fanbase that let Tom Osborne get away with what he did in ‘94-’95, and laud him for that, b/c all they cared about was winning.
While I may razz some texas fans about the legal problems y’all had over the last two years, it wasn’t like y’all were trying to justify keeping a rapist (Christian Peter), murderer, or woman-beater (Lawrence Phillips) in the lineup. And as far as I know, Mack Brown never obstructed justice on the part of his players.

by Beergut on Jun 29, 2008 5:22 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

If it's west of the Brazos

it’s probably all overrated, so it seems.

No one has perfect fans. However they came by their behavior, the core of Nebraska fans still seem gracious. Not that I’d expect you to have an in-depth appreciation for graciousness.

by whills on Jun 29, 2008 6:05 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs