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MOFOs on parade

 

A month and a half ago, the greatest rarity in baseball occurred. On Monday, May 12, Toronto’s second-baseman Asdrubal Cabera turned an unassisted triple play, the second of this century for the American League. The National League also has two since 2000. There have only been 14 unassisted triple plays in the history of the National and American Leagues, the first in 1909.  The assisted triple play is much more common, although still relatively rare in league play.

On May 30, 1927, Cubs shortstop Jimmy Conney turned in an unassisted triple play in National League play at Pittsburgh. The very next day Johnny Neun, the Detroit first baseman, turned another in American League play against Cleveland.

There would not be another unassisted triple play for 41 years and two months in the American League, until Washington ss Ron Hansen broke the streak on July 30, 1968 for a team so bad they were immortalized in a book (The Year the Yankees lost the Pennant) and a Broadway play (Damn Yankees). Of course, the event didn’t happen at home but in Cleveland.  Someone noticed a Mr. Applegate in left field, but he disappeared after the play.

The National League would endure much longer, 67 years and four months, before Mickey Morandini, Philadelphia 2b, would stick it to the Pirates’ at Pittsburgh on September 20, 1992. National Leaguers had thought it was a myth until it actually happened.

As the 100 degree days remind us, cooler times will come, they must come. But for now, we must wait however impatiently. The occurrences of unassisted triple plays reminds us of how fickle and unrelenting the wait can be. So much so that sometimes we even stop waiting. Hopefully, that will not be our fate.

 

Star-divide

We are in the grasp of the mythic. Great future events lie shimmering in the heat waves of the pavement leading to Austin. Great chants and roars echo in distant stadiums. We thirst but we are denied, we hunger but we can not be fulfilled, we think but it's only the reverberation of our past mumbling in our ears.

We face many events which are anomalies, but are also quite common. Tornadoes and lightning are great examples; they will occur, but when, where and at what strength is not known until they have struck.

In football, big plays are a similar process.  We know they're going to occur but we can never predict exactly when or where. Some players, like VY, are walking big plays just waiting for the right moment. Others, not so much....we endure.

Sometime in the early part of the football season, the defense of Will Muschamp will have a moment when we rise up as a single entity with the same primal instinct completely awakened, lustily clenching and jabbing our fists and screaming at the top of our lungs "Boom Motherfucker." 

Oh, we will have longed for that moment so passionately. And chances are that there will be more than a few false alarms. Hits that seem like they're definitive, that are the epitome of the slobber-knocking defense we hope will form before our eyes, but each will be lacking that authoritative power that even our opponents will have to acknowledge and turn away in fear. But this moment will happen...

You know, like this:   ">

There were plenty of Bryant Westbrook hits, but this shot on Randy Kinder woke up everyone within 100 miles. Perhaps you liked Stony Clark against OU or Tony Brackens on the fake punt against Tech; add them and any others to the stew as we refine our definition and rekindle the blood-thirsty barbarian within us. Civilization is a very thin veneer anyway and defensive football only pretends to be civilized to satisfy the faint of heart and the happy picnickers.

Our only problem is the wait until that first moment appears before us.

Ladies and gentlemen - and even beerguts and 84s, too - it's time for a little speculation and prediction.

Will it be someone from the DL or the LBs or the DBs. I favor Muck myself, but Rak is a great second choice just growling for the moment. But it's not just the shoulders of truth administering justice, there also needs to be the proper framing of time and place.

I'd love to see it happen at Dallas, but frankly I don't want to wait that long. Maybe CU and their option up in Boulder. Maybe in the desert in El Paso, rocketing someone into another country. Maybe at home and knocking the mustache clean off Schnellenberger's face. And it must be an important moment in the game, a defining moment where the game hangs in the balance.

Of course, we seldom get the drama we want, but as long as we're predicting  we can choose what we please. 

Of course, it is summer and there's a decided lean toward nuance and inanity at the same moment, so in the barbarian sensibility noted, I only expect minimum defensive civility. And to clear the mental palate, no matter where you may be, just jump right up right now and scream Boom Motherf*cker at the top of your voice, pumping your fists as you land in a head down aggressive posture. See how good that feels. Call PB or HB if you need bail posted.

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It feels good to be Texas

after all the nitpickery going on around us.

We are going to kick some ass.

by whills on Jun 30, 2008 8:59 PM CDT   0 recs

It will be Lamarr Houston...

...hitting the bejesus out of Darrell Scott on his first option run of the first quarter

by BigTexBD on Jun 30, 2008 10:09 PM CDT   0 recs

That would be a hell of a start.

that would set the tone and style of aggression in 2008.

by whills on Jun 30, 2008 10:48 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

I Call Rak

Blindsiding Casey Dick (at least twice) after blowing by a highly questionable sophomore LT.

by learned hand on Jun 30, 2008 11:51 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

I also like his odds

against an LT of whom the official U of A player profile says “needs to be more physical”.

Nothing like the Athletic Department web master calling a guy out.

by learned hand on Jul 1, 2008 9:59 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Boom Mofo

That should be the new cheer, led by the cheerleaders, and yelled by the band at the start of each game and at halftime. In fact, the “We’re Texas” ads should be revised to “We’re Motherf*ing Texas”

by Longhorn in Canada on Jun 30, 2008 11:20 PM CDT   0 recs

You're right

I apologize, and withdraw the last portion of my comment. “We’re Texas” says all that needs to be said. I had intended to say “We’re Texas, mofos”, but even that is over the top. As my daddy always said, it’s not polite to ask a man where he’s from. If he’s from Texas, he’ll get around to lettin’ you know. If he’s not, well there ain’t no point in embarassing him.

As an aside, I do expect the Rice MOB to come out on the field singing “Boom, motherfreackerfreacker, Boom, motherfreackerfreacker” to the tune of “I Want to Take You Higher”.

You might have to be an old fart like me to understand this one.

by Longhorn in Canada on Jul 2, 2008 9:57 PM CDT to parent up   1 recs

Hey, I am, now certified, so it seems, as below.

Let the MOB do what they do so well. I’ve always like ‘em. Ain’t never pulled a sword on a single one.

It would be a very twisted and ironic fate if two such elements – the MOB and Sly’s song – should join to glorify a particular moment of violence. And then demean us for liking it.

by whills on Jul 3, 2008 1:49 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Hey, I'm still in college.

BZ would be happy to bail you out all New Yawk Lawya-style, though.

Great post, whills. Or should I say, .gp whills

by Horn Brain on Jun 30, 2008 11:36 PM CDT   0 recs

Nope.

Geriatric Poster.

You had your chance, smartass.

I would have to say Sergio Kindle, just because it scares me to watch that man walk in any direction that brings him closer to me. He laid a pretty good hit on someone in I believe the Nebraska game to stop a 4th down conversion that brought the crowd to their feet and helped turn the momentum around a bit. Anyone remember this to confirm?

by Horn Brain on Jun 30, 2008 11:55 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Time, place of Kindle Krunch?

You’re asking a geriatric to remember? Do your homework, sonny.

by whills on Jul 1, 2008 12:15 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Christian Scott

He’s the new “Roy Williams” of Texas (safety style)

Just wait guys… our young group of secondaries has something to show the nation. And this year is their coming out party!

I can’t say “Boom Mutha Fucka” Reminds me too much of Boomer sooner.

So I’ll just be saying…. “Pow! Bitch!”

by texasfan05 on Jul 1, 2008 1:54 AM CDT   0 recs

I could not be more excited for football season!

Great post!

That moment will come up in Dallas. There may be some big hits and great plays but they will not be as important as this one.

Both Teams are undefeated at this point. Texas barely got by Colorado and Oklahoma has won each of its games by 25, ESPN and the Gameday crew only mention this 22 times in the morning. Both Corso and Herbstrieght pick OU to win because of the quarterback play and the running game of OU.

It is middle of the 4th quarter with Texas leading 17-14 Oklahoma is driving. With the ball just on our side of mid-field 3rd down and 5, you can feel it, if OU gets a first down we are in trouble.

Texas is showing blitz.

Bradford calls an audible.

Its a quick slant to Juaquin Iglesias, he catches the ball about 3 yards past the line of scrimmage. You can fsee him getting close to the first and you get that feeling, that horrible “we are about to lose another game to Oklahoma” feeling.

As soon as Iglesias Turns up field here comes Muck. He lights him up, Iglesias loses his helmet and the ball. Brent Musburger says “And thats the Muschamp defense folks”. But you dont hear it becaue you just doubled your best vertical leap while screaming at the top of your lungs.

You regain your cool when you realize that OU recovered. But its 2 yards behind the line of scrimmage. They are forced to punt.

Is there anything better then College football?
I think not

by blazzinken on Jul 1, 2008 2:47 AM CDT   0 recs

I agree. In Dallas.

Lamarr Houston flattens Bradford to make it 2nd and long, very long.

It's a Horns' world. Even Aggies play hoops with a burnt orange ball.
Is it football season YET?

by Speedway on Jul 1, 2008 6:05 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Good thing the RRS is on ABC and not FSN

I wouldn’t want to hear Dave Lapham create another football term like the “Face Rape”.

It's a Horns' world. Even Aggies play hoops with a burnt orange ball.
Is it football season YET?

by Speedway on Jul 1, 2008 8:23 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Damn, we go from definite to absolutely definite.
Sam Bradford has a concussion from the schockwaves that came off when Kindle laid the wood,

heh heh heh heh heh

by whills on Jul 1, 2008 12:22 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

you kids are cute

you’re just gonna have to settle on loosing another one. you should be used to it by now.

by sooner jeff on Jul 1, 2008 6:19 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

when all else fails,

spelling smack.

How bout I do you one better…

While “Learned Hand” never served on the Supreme Court, you can find “Sooner Jeff” wedged snugly betwixt Philip Pendelton Barbour and John Catron on the list of Supreme Court Justices.

As they say when Texas plays on TBS… Boom, Mister Falcon.

by sooner jeff on Jul 1, 2008 7:20 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

sooner jeff...

go make love with a trailer pig and piss off

by Hook'em13 on Jul 1, 2008 7:21 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

gracious son

take longer than a minute to think up a come back. Hell I had to do a little research on wikipedia to write that supreme court dig.

anyone can do the “go [insert sexual act] with a [insert animal]” insult.

by sooner jeff on Jul 1, 2008 7:25 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

had to think of it

on the fly… give me a break dad

by Hook'em13 on Jul 1, 2008 7:27 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

besides

i got better things to do with my time than go to “wiki” to look up dumb facts to try to get into an argument with a sooner

by Hook'em13 on Jul 1, 2008 7:28 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Wow Sooner Jeff Joins BON with a Vengence

He’s on fire!

It's a Horns' world. Even Aggies play hoops with a burnt orange ball.
Is it football season YET?

by Speedway on Jul 1, 2008 8:39 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Touché

+1

It's a Horns' world. Even Aggies play hoops with a burnt orange ball.
Is it football season YET?

by Speedway on Jul 1, 2008 8:38 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

The way Bob Stoops is used to "loosing" bowl games?

I've been fuelin' my dreams eatin' greens and beans.

by 16thLonghorn on Jul 2, 2008 7:46 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Sooner Jeff

Its so cute the way you pretend to know anything about anything…this will give you time to go wikipedia OU football so you can comeback with a badass statistic like Ou’s all time record against UT

by tvr'11 on Jul 2, 2008 7:49 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

HAH!!!

I've been fuelin' my dreams eatin' greens and beans.

by 16thLonghorn on Jul 2, 2008 7:54 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

It seems to me that everyone is overlooking Arkansas.

I just hope the coaches aren’t.

The two games that scare me the most this year are Arkansas and Colorado because I am afraid we may be looking past these games. Arkansas is a mess right now, but it’s still Arkansas, it’s an old rivalry, and they are going to put up a fight.

Let’s not forget 2007 when Colorado beat OU in Boulder the week before the RRS. Of course, that wonderful feeling you get after watching OU lose was soon crushed as Kansas State kicked our teeth in a few hours later. Most of the people in the stands had no idea that OU had lost. This year we get to head up to Boulder the week before the RRS. It’s our first time to play CU since the 70-3 Big XII Championship beat down in Houston and I am sure there are a few Colorado seniors that have been waiting three long years for another shot at Texas.

I know that OU, Missouri, Texas Tech, and Kansas are going to be tough, but Arkansas and Colorado scare me. I’ll be able to breathe a sigh of relief if we can make it to Dallas 5-0.

Regarding the post, I agree with blazzinken…

That moment will come up in Dallas. There may be some big hits and great plays but they will not be as important as this one.

It’s the most important game of the year. But I hope you are right about there being some big hits and great plays prior to the RRS.

I hope that moment comes against Arkansas. An old SEC matchup for Muschamp and an old SWC rival for Texas. I hope we absolutley punish the Razorbacks. Send’em back to Fayetteville with their curly tail between their legs.

Only 60 days to go. When do practices start up?

I've been fuelin' my dreams eatin' greens and beans.

by 16thLonghorn on Jul 1, 2008 8:02 AM CDT   1 recs

Didn't Mack say

That they took more time last year to prepare for “big games,” like OU? If so, that partially explains our awful showing against K-state. We certainly looked like a team overlooking our opponent.

by TheElusiveShadow on Jul 1, 2008 9:41 AM CDT to parent up   0 recs

I share your concern about the Hogs and Buffs

The Hogs are always extremely dangerous to the Horns. You can’t believe the hype or the two-bit predictions of snout-nosed mommas; they come up with players. And worse than anything, the mofos are lucky. Back in the Lighthorse Harry days, they were not only damn good, but the luckiest team I’ve ever seen. No mercy; treat them like OU. Skin ‘em while the skinning’s good.

And I’m sure CU is brooding and conniving under the Flat Irons. They’ll want to stay close until the fourth quarter, when their altitude and attitude can play real roles. Every mistake the Horns make will be magnified. While the defense will ultimately have the tough job of stopping them, the offense must put a lot of points on the board and make the fourth quarter a moot situation.

And the Miners. I can emphasize how much UTEP has to gain and how much the Horns have to lose in that situation. This has been building a long time; there was animosity over basketball for many years. This has an institutional side that screams trouble. Hydration will be the hidden problem, too, which could take key players out of the game. Not as dangerous as CU and the Hogs but still…a strong defense is like Spanish double loons in the saddle bags.

Don’t know when practices start or how many they will allow us to attend. Someone got a line on that? Perhaps we should have a BON observation party on the sidelines. I move around and watch from both sides of the field and then go to the upper field occasionally when the backs & TEs run plays.

by whills on Jul 1, 2008 12:41 PM CDT to parent up   1 recs

Kindle

Rak, Muck and the new Safeties are all good choices but Sergio Kindle is an explosion waiting to happen. I predict he will go “BOOM” many times next year… maybe his name should be “Kindling” (you know the dry material you use to start the combustion for a “BON” fire?).

Kindle… mark it down.

1 Peter 2:17

by HornsFan87 on Jul 1, 2008 11:44 AM CDT   0 recs

You're right, BZ. Thanks.

I felt rusty doing this, didn’t smooth it out as much as it should have been, left stuff out I should have included, more flowery in places than it should have been for a football piece.

I need to do longer pieces; been doing smartass comments too long.

by whills on Jul 1, 2008 12:45 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

I thought the same thing. Nice work whills

It's a Horns' world. Even Aggies play hoops with a burnt orange ball.
Is it football season YET?

by Speedway on Jul 1, 2008 12:48 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Thanks, Speedway.

We need to get emotionally fired up ever so often.

by whills on Jul 1, 2008 12:58 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Agreed

Nothing like an eloquent turn of phrase used to exhort a chant of “Boom Motherf*cker”

by learned hand on Jul 1, 2008 1:04 PM CDT to parent up   1 recs

You guys keep writing

I’ll keep reading, and posting inappropriate smartassery.

Speaking of which, where’s Bombilla?

by horndude on Jul 1, 2008 1:15 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

He's been AWOL for a month. A month!

We may have to take disciplinary action.

It's a Horns' world. Even Aggies play hoops with a burnt orange ball.
Is it football season YET?

by Speedway on Jul 1, 2008 1:35 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Maybe he had

an aneurysm when VY showed up in his office before the summer break? I’ll go find him.

by horndude on Jul 1, 2008 2:18 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

Rec'd

just for the creative link

So you're saying that now I have to think of some witty Sig that will be applicable across all the SBN sites? Go TexanHornStros!

by Shake on Jul 3, 2008 9:16 PM CDT to parent up   0 recs

I don't care what any of y'all say...

but my man nipples are practically getting hard just thinking about the Texas/Muschamp defense this fall. I cannot wait for the word “Texas” to put the fear of God into skill position athletes all over these great United States.

Brown Control to Major Applewhite...

by BFAUT86 on Jul 1, 2008 11:47 PM CDT   0 recs

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