Rankology 101: Preseason Power-Polling

 

Here goes nothing...

I may have mentioned this a few times already, but this is a pure power poll.  It's also based on conjecture and possibly an unnoticeable amount of witchcraft.  What I'm saying is, this is my opinion on the matter, studded with laziness.  Oh, and only my opinion, as all of the other authors have chosen to abstain on principle.

[Updated by Horn Brain, 08/13/08 1:22 PM CDT ]

Horn Brain & Friends Present(s):

Power Pollin'

Horn Brain's picks
Why I don't think I'm an idiot (or comments)
1 Ohio State Actually good this year, but not this good.  Something's wrong with football.
2 Oklahoma Beware the double-letdown BCS CG with tOSU
3 Florida Georgia's troubles are on my mind this time around, lucky you, Gators.
4 Georgia Good: Knowshon, Defensive Line. Bad:  Fulmer Cup, Injuries.
5 USC Not sold on wobble-kneed QB and replacing most of the OL.  "Not sold" means #5.  Don't complain.
6 West Virginia I give them the benefit of the doubt, honestly.  If Stuart can run that offense half as well as RR did, they have one last Big East run left in them.  Then I give the Big East three years.
7 LSU QB will be fine, I worry about replacing Pelini with the buddy system.  Texas Swarm, anyone?
8 Texas Speaking of Texas, I think we will be this good.  Anyone ranking us lower is looking at the schedule.  Shame on you.
9 Auburn New offense, same TT.  They'll be tough again.
10 Missouri I don't think they can beat anyone above them on this list, with the obvious exception of Texas in some embarrassing fashion, since that's how life is.
11 Oregon Bellotti will have the offense running, just give him time.
12 Wisconsin Will be really good at beating Big 10 teams, not much else.
13 Clemson Woops, almost forgot about Tebow Jr.
14 Brigham Young I give them a boost because they'll all be chanting "BCS" really loud at all their games.  That counts for something?
15 South Florida Offense needs to find someone besides Grothe to move the ball before he runs out of teeth.
16 Kansas Not talented enough to go any higher.
17 Illinois Juice will run through the Big 10 again, but I don't think he'll shred anyone with his arm.
18 Penn State Joe Pa wants to spread 'em out.  Worked last time.  Why not?
19 Texas Tech This is how good Tech is.  Plus or minus a couple rankings depending on personnel.
20 Tennessee
"At least we've got Eric Berry."
21 Pittsburgh They have the ... ugh... can't do it... "Not fake" McCoy.
22 Michigan Damn you, they'll be good... on defense.
23 Virginia Tech I hate Frank Beamer, but it's not like his teams aren't usually ok.
24 Alabama Saban has three full mortgages on his soul, which he neglected to tell Satan when purchasing this year's recruiting class.
25 Duke Utah I think they can score.  I'm really tired of ranking teams right now.

Bwamp chicka-bwamp bwow.

Oh, God, that was horrible.  Please attack me in any way you like.  I'll try to reply to all of you and move the rankings around accordingly.  Don't forget to publish your own top 25 in the comments, either.  If you think it was easy, then you did it wrong.

 

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