The Adventures of Bombilla, Jr.

by Bombilla on Sep 3, 2008 9:37 AM CDT Comment 20 comments

Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying About The Consistency of Poop

Gentlemen (dunno if there's ladies here), Behold... My Son, Bombilla, Jr.

Born this past June, and weighed (and I'm actually serious here) 9 lbs 11oz and was 23-in long. He's my big boy. He's almost 3 months old now, and we just finished watching our first Horns game last weekend with grandpa.

Blah blah blah. Yeah...I know. Boring.

But there's a reason why I write these words. Y'all are like my extended family. A family that I've grown to appreciate, respect, and yell at. A family that is more interested in discussing the fine points of Rodriguezezezzz A-11 offense scheme (or joke) while I keep trying to think of another word for "erection" or "diarrhea" or "love". Love that's what it's all about, isn't it? Love and football. And changing diapers.

I can do it with one hand, now: change diapers. I am the sensei of poop. I can tell the difference between a seismic event and butt murmurs. I know when the big one is coming before it enters his little intestine. I have become comfortable with poop.

Which is why I think I'm going to be able to handle this season. I have mellowed, fellows. Junior's granddad (my daddy) actually noticed that the television was intact even after the fourth FRIGGIN' BUBBLE SCREEN, the EIGHTEENTH EAST/WEST PASS, another DAMN WHATEVER THE HELL THAT PLAY IS THAT ANNOYS THE SHIT OUT OF ME!!! ...but I'm cool, now. Like a cucumber. I'm older now, and wiser. Sensitive, even, and a bit melancholy. I'm actually more like cucumber that's been sitting in a jar of sun tea on the deck of an aircraft carrier. A limp, tea-stained, fully caffeinated, deaf cucumber. What does that mean? Hell, I don't know. But you read it, and now you own a part of my own confusion so eat it, young man.

Anyway, this rambling should be considered a preface to the life and times of my youngest son. It is intended to track the growth, development, and indoctrination of my littlest Longhorn.

I will call him "Junior" in these missives.

I actually wanted to name him "Vince Godzilla", but this was dismissed by my narrow-minded wife. Pity.

All comments, FanPosts, and FanShots are the views of the reader-authors who create them.

5 recs | Comment 20 comments

Story-email Email Printer Print

Comments

Bombilla

That is a damn good looking kid. I’m sorry you couldn’t name him Vince Godzilla, here is to hoping you could at least name him Earl.

Perhaps the most recognizable mascot in sports, and certainly the toughest looking, Bevo is a fixture

by run Bevo run on Sep 3, 2008 9:52 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

9lb 11oz – we’ll look forward to him signing with the horns as a DT or OT in 2027.

by hodad on Sep 3, 2008 10:01 AM CDT reply actions 2 recs

now we know..

…why you were gone for so long.

Congrats!

by vy til i die on Sep 3, 2008 10:17 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Congrats, Bombi!

Great looking lineman.

Hook’ em to the entire Bombilla family!

by horndude on Sep 3, 2008 10:24 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

congrats!

But obviously, you needed to be more forward thinking, something like Mr. Garrett Gilbert Bombilla, so the wife wouldn’t catch on just yet.

by jc25 on Sep 3, 2008 11:21 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Actually...

In all seriousness I was really pushing to name him “Luckenbach Texas” (first & middle name), but Mrs. Bombilla didn’t appreciate how cool that would be. I kept saying, “But we can call him ‘Luke’! No one will ever know his full name!” Of course, she said, “Don’t be stupid. How is that going to look at the Democratic National Convention?” And of course, I said, “Honey, you will never have to worry about that because the boy ain’t gonna be a hippie.” And then she said, “Well, then I guess he’ll never be President.”

I had to think about that last one. Mrs Bombilla is one smart cookie.

It's Mean to Ween

by Bombilla on Sep 3, 2008 12:18 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs

Go ahead, spend the extra money now

And buy the really good plunger – the one that inexplicably costs $10 more than the perfectly normal looking plunger there at Lowe’s or Home Depot. I am the father of four… trust me. This is the only parenting advice I feel comfortable giving to people I’ve never met.

Congratulations. You’re starting that boy off on the proper path. And I’m with jc25 on the name Garrett Gilbert – he’s the next Chase Daniel!

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
- Thomas Jones

by beast in bama on Sep 3, 2008 11:41 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Good advice

You mean that plunger that looks like the business end of a Russian RPG?

Chase Daniel? Yeah, right. Junior weighed 15lbs 3oz at his 2-month appt. Plus his freeking hands and legs are HUGE (well, relatively speaking). I mean, I’m not a small guy myself, but I’m thinking he’ll be more like Leonard Davis (biggest man I ever met face-to-face)!

It's Mean to Ween

by Bombilla on Sep 3, 2008 12:32 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Juice Williams

I heard during the Missou game (watching on DVR) that Isiah Williams was nicknamed Juice by his grandmother who called him a “Juicy Baby”.

He came out 13lbs 8oz, reportedly. Hes only 6’-2" 220 now though :(

Grats on the family Bombilla!

by BoddickerIsClutch on Sep 3, 2008 1:39 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Outstanding

Thanks for sharing. Congrats!

--PB--

by Peter Bean on Sep 3, 2008 1:42 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

That's a good one.

Maybe now you’ll have someone else to share your lickable kiddie porn obsession. Great post, btw. Hilarious.

by Horn Brain on Sep 3, 2008 3:19 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Hehheh...

You gotta love cross-threaded continuity in sick jokes!

It's Mean to Ween

by Bombilla on Sep 3, 2008 4:31 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Congrats on Junior

In 1969 my son was born and I had a Longhorn bib on him for good luck as we watched the team. That lucky charm worked magic. He was named after Bill Bradley. I should have named him Benedict Arnold. LSU is his #1 team and UT #2. Where did HE go wrong? Oh, I still talk to him – when the wife is around. I wish you well. Indoctrinate before they get a mind of their own. Beat them down if they make the wrong choice.

by Bluesman on Sep 3, 2008 4:18 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

I'm so disappointed in you, B

Where the hell is the burnt orange UT onesie?

But seriously, congrats. That’s a good lookin boy right there.

by BigTexBD on Sep 3, 2008 8:45 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

A-HA!

You’re the first to ask. He wore it for the first time on gameday (Saturday). Pictures, of course, are forthcoming…as soon as Mrs. Bombilla get outta the kitchen!

It's Mean to Ween

by Bombilla on Sep 3, 2008 10:14 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Great looking kid, Bombilla.

You’re in for some fun. No sleep, but fun.

by whills on Sep 4, 2008 12:29 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Thanks, bud...

Actually, he just started sleeping through the night about a week ago. However, we’re getting close to the 3-month growth spurt, and if it’s anything like the 6-week growth spurt then I better buy some more chocolate-covered espresso beans soon!

It's Mean to Ween

by Bombilla on Sep 4, 2008 9:11 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Another congrats

many good times ahead for you. Enjoy them because you’ll be surprised how fast they really go by.

One of mine is in my profile pic. I’m coaching his football team for the second season this year and we are having a blast.

by Horncasting on Sep 4, 2008 9:41 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Many good times ahead

Even though my son has only spent 1 week of his life in Texas during a spring break trip, he bleeds burnt orange and can’t wait to get back. This year is his first year of tackle and he is honoring Tommy Nobis’ number (see profile pic) – and doing it right. Can’t believe we lucked out with the burnt orange unis, which we’ll have for 4 years straight.

Kids are a blast. The lack of sleep is a small price to pay.

by LonghorninID on Sep 8, 2008 12:14 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs