Dear AP sports writers,

The Oklahoma Sooners’ recent, heroic defeat to the hands of the Nebraska Cornhuskers was a game for the ages. The defensive showdown showcased two powerhouse programs. Before casting your vote in the upcoming AP poll, here’s a few factoids to consider:

1)      The combined victories of the four teams that have defeated the Sooners is 2,633 lifetime victories. This includes historical powers Texas, Nebraska, Miami & BYU.

2)      The Sooners have lost their four games by a combined total of 12 points. They very easily could be 9-0.

3)      The Sooners defense gave up only 10 points tonight.

4)      QB Sam Bradford was once again out. Though he’s announced his plans to turn pro next year, his spirit is with us.

5)      Remember when the Sooners beat Idaho St & Tulsa back-to-back, by the combined score of 109-0? That was awesome!

6)      The Sooners vaunted defense held Nebraska to just 180 yards in total offense.

7)      Look how many crappy teams are out there. We’re OU damnit!

8)      We have neither the time nor the inclination to explain ourselves to sports writers who rise and sleep under the blanket of the very sports tradition that we provide, and then question the manner in which we provide it. We would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, we suggest you pick up a football, and get in a three-point stance. Either way, we don't give a damn what you think about OU football. Keep us in the Top 25 damnit!

9)      OK, we’re sorry. Coach Stoops will tear me a new one if we get voted out of the AP for the first time since 2005. I’m sure we can get you a nice new auto. Or, how about free gas?

These are some of the many salient arguments in weighing the ranking of the Oklahoma Sooners football team, coached by future hall-of-famer Bob "Big Game" Stoops. We respectfully request to be considered for the AP’s Top 25. To further enhance our case, we're opening up fan comments at the site - www.burntorangenation.com. Look in the FanPosts and you'll find additional arguments to keep OU in the Top 25, if not the Top 10.

If you have any further questions or comments, please do not hesitate to contact us. If for any reason I am unable to return your call in a timely manner, it's due to the seven national championship trophies interfering with the wi-fi in my office.

Best regards,

Sooners PR department

(Not really in case the AP decides to run this story)