E-S-P-ythagorea-N Theorem
by 54b on Jun 17, 2009 9:56 AM CDT
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PrintAnybody else starting to enjoy this formula as much as I am...
(ESPN Hype for the latest "greatest player or team" ever) squared x (Formidable but not sexy Longhorns Team) squared = (Bevo Smack Down) squared
(Example)
Overheard during last night’s telecast of the Texas/ASU game from Omaha:
Orel Hershiser: "Of course he’s got a great arm Buttermaker, he’s the best athlete in all of college baseball...but you don’t understand, that’s Mike Leake."
Sean McDonough: "Talk about a loan shark, I borrowed a nickel from him last week and he said if I didn’t give him a dime by Friday, he’d break my arm."
Erin Andrews: "Es un bandido"
Multiplied by...
Orel Hershiser: "Oh no, Texas is down 6-0 to ASU."
Sean McDonough: "Yeah, that’s like 22-0 in Mike Leake dog years."
Erin Andrews: "I’m going to go talk to Augie Burrito."
Equals...
Augie Garrido: "Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?"
Chance Ruffin: "Forget it, he’s rolling."
Augie Garrido: "Hell no, it wasn’t over and when the going gets tough...the tough go out and put 6 on the board against Mike Leake, the greatest thing since the invention of the automatic tampon remover."
Erin Andrews: "Es un Garrido."
Longhorns 10
Sun Devils 6
Enjoy your Texas-sized shite burger, ESPN. If you'd also like the Baked Ass-laska, please start hyping Tebow now so Colt and the Longhorns will have it ready for you by the Rose Bowl.
Sincerely,
Burnt Orange Nation
PS. Cameron Rupp...um...we love you...sorry, panic...we mean, welcome to the Chance Wheeless Mutual of Omaha Appreciation Club.
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U R THE MAN
This made me laugh out loud and I just emailed to my office Horn haters!!!
Ron
Too Late
…please start hyping Tebow now…
Have you not watched ESPN in the last three years? Or not noticed that his screaming mug starts off every episode of College Football Live during the ESPNHD thing? If they haven’t truly been hyping him yet, I’d love to see what it looks like when they do.
Team Speed Kills
SBNation's SEC Blog
I'll save you the suspense
Expect a Lee Corso Bris on gameday.
proud to swim home
by learned hand on Jun 17, 2009 10:50 AM CDT up reply actions
The Geothermal Event That Is Tebow
Was prophesized by the Mayans, long before foolish ESPN appeared on the scene
Yes
ESPN really jumped on Leake, it was too much when they said down 3 to Leake is like down 12 to another team..I was like gimme a break hes good but hes giving up hits left and right
someone please deliver!
anyone Tivo the game and can bring BON the shot of Leake in the duggot with the complete shock on his face that he just got blasted for 6 runs?
by karmaHorns on Jun 17, 2009 11:16 AM CDT reply actions
Don't forget to get Erin Andrews too
1) Because she’s hot
2) She really did call our coach, Augie Burrito
I sh*t you not…it was around 7th inning…my wife and I replayed it like 50 times.
Be nobody but yourself in a world that desperately wants you to be like everybody else.
They have a photo gallery from last nights game on texassports.com
but I cannot access it
by future_longhorn_dad on Jun 17, 2009 12:35 PM CDT up reply actions
Hot?
For a sportscaster, maybe.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. If they get mad, you're a mile away AND you have their shoes.
you dont think Erin Andrews is hot
by most hot people standards?
OK
She’s hot by the hottest-girl-in-the-office standard and one of the hottest of the sportsbabes. (I’d go more for Leeann Tweeden, myself.) But I think she is benefiting from a testosterone-rich environment with limited competition. Go to any ‘bikini’ website and you’ll see lots of hotter babes.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. If they get mad, you're a mile away AND you have their shoes.
That's because they are in bikinis
"From the waist down, Earl Campbell has the biggest legs I have ever seen on a running back." -John Madden
by run Bevo run on Jun 18, 2009 11:35 AM CDT up reply actions
True. Erin Andrews would definitely draw my attention very quickly if she were in a bikini or, preferably, not in a bikini.
And most of those chicks on the “bikini” websites lack any talent but looking good in bikinis, and also are usually airbrushed to hell. EA isn’t super-talented, but at least she can read her queue cards, and I’ll bet she’d be in good shape if she were airbrushed in a bikini shoot.
by burntorangehorn on Jun 18, 2009 11:55 AM CDT up reply actions
I'm glad we solved that.
What’s next on the agenda?
"From the waist down, Earl Campbell has the biggest legs I have ever seen on a running back." -John Madden
by run Bevo run on Jun 18, 2009 2:04 PM CDT up reply actions
The google-hunt for Erin Andrews bikini photos, and subsequent posting of same. The following agenda item is critical comparison and contrast of EA photos to standard “bikini website” photos.
by burntorangehorn on Jun 18, 2009 2:10 PM CDT up reply actions
Such search executions are not possible from current location, damn work overlords, but will begin ASAP.
"From the waist down, Earl Campbell has the biggest legs I have ever seen on a running back." -John Madden
by run Bevo run on Jun 18, 2009 2:21 PM CDT up reply actions
Just tell your IT people where your priorities are at this moment. They’ll understand. Threaten to tear up their Dilbert calendars if they don’t acquiesce.
by burntorangehorn on Jun 18, 2009 2:31 PM CDT up reply actions
Unfortunately
In my office, IT is the cousin in the Addams family. For my company IT is in New York, constantly monitored by watchgroups (literally) of the SEC ergo there’s not much f-ing around with them.
"From the waist down, Earl Campbell has the biggest legs I have ever seen on a running back." -John Madden
by run Bevo run on Jun 18, 2009 3:51 PM CDT up reply actions
Heh, my “company” probably wouldn’t like it either, although I will say that I probably push the envelope a little more than I should, considering they literally do more monitoring of communications/network activity than anyone else in the world. But those bastards can kiss my ass; I’m at home with the wife and new baby this week. Bikini-pic hunt it is.
by burntorangehorn on Jun 18, 2009 6:07 PM CDT up reply actions
what is also with the
signs “we’ll mess with texas” can we get a sign that says " good you F*cked with the Wrong Bull "
by karmaHorns on Jun 17, 2009 3:19 PM CDT up reply actions 2 recs
I never thought that Blutos speech would make for such a good rally
What the f*** happened to the Longhorns I used to know? Where’s the spirit? Where’s the guts, huh? This could be the greatest night of our lives, but you’re gonna let it be the worst. “Ooh, we’re afraid to go with you Augie, we might lose.” Well just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I’m not gonna take this. Leake, he’s a dead man! Patrick , dead! Hershiser…
by future_longhorn_dad on Jun 17, 2009 11:20 AM CDT reply actions 1 recs
Are you sure they're not the same person?
They both have stereotypical Irish names (possibly made up) and you never see them in the same place at the same time?
Corrected, thank you. nt
Be nobody but yourself in a world that desperately wants you to be like everybody else.
Whoever he was
sounded like he was a hiccup away from losing his voice. Surely ESPN could of made a call to the bullpen.
"From the waist down, Earl Campbell has the biggest legs I have ever seen on a running back." -John Madden
by run Bevo run on Jun 17, 2009 12:43 PM CDT up reply actions
they did
I assume thats why Steve Phillips was in the booth. Cus he’s a bag of hot air. Theres not a bigger blowhard on ESPNs baseball coverage.
Steve & Orel is there for colorcommentary, other throaty douche is play by play
"From the waist down, Earl Campbell has the biggest legs I have ever seen on a running back." -John Madden
by run Bevo run on Jun 17, 2009 1:37 PM CDT up reply actions
Coffee Klatch
Those guys were so busy impressing themselves and each other with all their blabber about prospects this and draft picks that and who’s gonna get the big bucks that they forgot that there was actually a game going on. It sounded like MLB Draft Breakdown 2009 rather than a real live game. Barf. I was hoping to find it on radio and mute the TV but it never found a broadcast. I would have loved to hear a real Horn Homer broadcasting instead of those preeners.
It was like the old SNL skit. I’ll give you a topic, MLB Draft, now talk amongst yourselves. “Oh that Leake, he’s like butta.”
Hook Em!
by Margaritaking on Jun 17, 2009 2:56 PM CDT up reply actions
Benadryl
Is a hell of a drug.
"From the waist down, Earl Campbell has the biggest legs I have ever seen on a running back." -John Madden
by run Bevo run on Jun 17, 2009 4:05 PM CDT up reply actions
McDonough
Actually Sean has been very supportive of Texas down through the years. He talked about UT national championships and our great facilities last night. The last name is real. He is good Irish kid from Boston and Syracuse. His dad was the late Will McDonough who wrote sports for the Boston Globe for years. His Dad is best known by us old timer Orangebloods by his fist fight with Raymond Clayborn when RayClay was with the Patriots. If you don’t know who Clayborn is then you need to do a little Longhorn research.
Oral
has gotten on my nerves (name misspelled for effect) with his banalities. I don’t get bothered too much by announcers any more. Ray Wylie Hubbard has a song that epitomizes my view & dare say most of us here: “Screw You, We’re From Texas”
Gave up on television broadcast
during the first game of the CWS in Omaha. The two windbags that ESPN found on the unemployment line (Will Work For Telling Stories About My Kid With the Rag Arm sign) could not be bothered to actually call the game.
Instead, I muted the broadcast and streamed the audio from Texas Sports. Those two were such a drastic improvement.
Fox Sports calling college football > ESPN calling college baseball.
I miss Harold Reynolds
Thought he was the best CWS announcer.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. If they get mad, you're a mile away AND you have their shoes.
All I know is
that if Oral mentions Alex Box stadium and it’s 9600 seating capacity one more time during an LSU game, that blur on the screen you will see will be Chuck Norris giving him a round house kick to the face. I have Chuck on stand by. I do not know why Oral is even talking about baseball prospects when he could not even make it as a pitching coach for the Rangers. He sucks and I would like to put him in the “ring of death” with Kirk Herbstreitt. I hope they will kill each other.
The next up and coming Longhorns QB!
I loved Orel when he was a youngster with the Dodgers. I think one of my firmest baseball memories was when the Dodgers and A’s were facing off in the World Series. Orel pitched like a madman, and an injured Kirk Gibson hit that The Natural-esque home run off Dennis Eckersley.
Man, what a series.
by burntorangehorn on Jun 17, 2009 7:19 PM CDT reply actions
telling ESPN what you think
If anyone’s interested, you can register a complaint about the horrible commentators here.
Bevo Beat’s John Bridges also was not happy with the ESPN broadcast.
by TexasTexasYeehaw on Jun 17, 2009 9:49 PM CDT reply actions
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