I know most of you already frequent the fantastic blog otherwise known as Barking Carnival, but for those who don't, now is a good time to start. Thankfully, football season is right around the corner, which not only brought back our venerable PB, but also BC's fabulous State of the Unions (they've covered ISU, Tech and Nebraska so far).
For those unfamiliar with what a State of the Union is, a brief sampling from the Texas Tech one, courtesy of one Scipio Tex:
Tech concluded their Greatest Season Ever by losing a 2nd tier bowl to an Ole Miss team led by Colt McCoy’s understudy and headset Hee-Haw Houston Nutt. They rewarded Mike Leach by nearly driving him away with a contract squabble, the organizational self-awareness equivalent of Billy Joel getting rid of Christie Brinkley. Once both sides realized their mutual inability to upgrade - the key to all successful partnerships - they quickly reconciled. However, Texas Tech lost a lot from last year’s team. And I don’t mean just their dignity in Norman.
On offense, QB Graham Harrell left for greener pastures and a glorious professional future…
Wait, it gets better.
It’s important you know that Texas Tech has a receiver named Corndog Douglas and I pray for the day that he drops a ball that Potts throws too hard so that I can remark, "A little too much mustard there for Corndog!" and then guffaw obnoxiously until I’m silenced by the palpable scorn. I’ll do it with relish.
Read it again if you missed it the first time. Ok, here's a highlight from the Iowa State one, this time from Vasherized:
Let’s summarize: New HC, DC, and OC. No Troy Davis on the roster. No Todd Blythe defying the limits of his own athleticism. No Larry Eustachy banging drunk co-eds in the stands. A paucity of depth at nearly every skill position. A smallish defense with average speed. That may be enough to beat A&M but fortunately for the Aggies, Iowa State is not on the schedule this year. Wait, they are. On Halloween! If both teams dressed as axe murderers and played to the death, the Big 12 would be stronger for it. We’ll call it The Big 10 and make those rust belt troglodytes change the name of their conference to match the actual number of schools that play in it. For Tech fans that can’t count over ten, that number is eleven. It’s like they pretend Northwestern just doesn’t exist.
Oh yes, we get our Aggie digs in wherever we can. If I haven't already convinced you to Go. There. Now., then you have no Longhorn football soul. Be sure to also check out Huck's "News at 11" Mike Balogun expose, HJ's and CA's practice roundups and CTJ's way too optimistic (or is it?) Baylor prediction. Oh, and if you find yourself mildly amused by the beergut and HornsChamps comments, you ain't seen nothing til you check out the comment threads over there.
This commercial was in no way sponsored by Barking Carnival, although after all the time I've spent on it, it dang well should be.