1. Do you know anything about your team after two weeks? We mean it. Is there anything you can state with any certainty at all with the solidity of real, live fact? If you are Colorado fan, this answer must be an acceptable variation of "My team could not place third in the MEAC." If not, you will be hung up on immediately.

2. Who is already tragically overrated? Now that Oklahoma State has unveiled its overratedness, what team gets the next bolt in the head in the slaughterhouse of inevitable letdown? Besides Mississippi, of course?

3. Name an eye-popping player from the first two weeks of the season. Someone who has caught your eye, or someone who pops the eyes from the skulls of opposing players. Either one is acceptable.

4. What work do you have to do? More specifically, what have you been neglecting thanks to football season? I.e., your yard, which is nearing impenetrable jungle, and may have to cut down in a controlled burn? And may have velociraptors living in it?

See you at 8. Get to work!