The Longhorn Sports Football Network has just announced the following “weakly” schedule of broadcasts. Enjoy Horn fans!
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Baylor Monday - “Highlights” of the Horns series with Baylor. These broadcasts are safe for the whole family as UT is never really in danger in any of these.
TCU Tuesday - More “highlights” against a Christian private school. This is spicier than Monday but not much.
SMU Wednesday - More of the same with even bigger beatdowns! (The competitive Pony Express era is not shown because those bastards cheated and we are Texas)
Rice-a-rama Thursday - Watch as tiny Rice student athletes are tossed around the field by gigantic UT brutes. Hilarious!
Freaky Friday - We feature games that were not supposed to be competitive but for which UT was bored and unprepared. Hello K-State, Colorado and the whole Mackovic era!
Horror-show Saturday - Actual competitive games with good teams. Scary! Not sure we have enough of these to fill our fall schedule but we are scanning the archives.
Sunday - in deference to all the religious schools we play we will be off the air.
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