3's Company - Episode 2: "The Great Potato Famine"

Please welcome back to the main page the critically acclaimed weekly BON feature, "3's Company," an unapologetic rip-off of the smash 70's sitcom of similar nomenclature and feeble attempt to help explain UT's confounding quarterback rotation to the common fan...or Lay-Horn. (Click here for Pilot episode).

SETTING: Young quarterbacks David Ash and Case McCoy are roommates and share a 2-bedroom apartment with freshman phenom receiver, Jaxon Shipley, at a time in the cultural milieu (fancy word for time and place) when the dual QB system is considered taboo.

The pressure on the three young roommates is intense as the fate of the Longhorns football season likely rests in their hands. Their attempts to make the unorthodox ensemble arrangement work on and off the field often lead to palpable tension and comedic gold. Making matters worse, their landlord just happens to be new offensive coordinator, Bryan Harsin, who has an uncanny knack for dropping by the apartment when least expected.

Watch as the hilarity ensues after the jump...

Episode 2 (11/2/11): "The Great Potato Famine"

[Scene: Ash, McCoy and Shipley are sitting in the common room of the apartment looking for something to watch on TV.]

McCOY: Seriously, Ash? You took like 70% of the DVR space to record the Ice Road Truckers marathon?

ASH: [Grabbing the remote from, McCoy] Hell yeah, you know QB-1 controls the clicker...and quit crying, you still got your Dancing With The Stars season pass.

SHIP: What about Jimmy Houston Outdoors?

ASH: Sorry, dude. It got smushed.

McCOY: That's it. Give me that damn thing...

[McCoy lunges at Ash who is sitting on the couch. Ash dodges him and tries to play keep away by throwing the remote to Shipley who is isn't looking and gets hit in the back of the head with it.]

McCOY: Hey, way to go, you finally hit something more than 5 yards down field.

[Loud knock at the door. Shipley, rubbing the back of his head, goes to open it.]

HARSIN: Hola, Ships & salsa!...what's wrong with your spud?

SHIP: Ash is, um, still finding his range.

HARSIN: [Entering the apartment] That's good, cuz we got Tech this Saturday and they've got a bunch of new potatoes in their secondary that we can julienne all day.

ASH: Do what to Julie Anne?

HARSIN: Forget it. Just do me a favor and throw the ball out of bounds if nobody's open.

McCOY: Lame. I knew you were going to go all conservative on us.

HARSIN: Oh, sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays...hey, you guys wanna hear about my latest trick play?

ASH: Is this another pop quiz?

HARSIN: No, Tater Tot, it's not...okay, here goes...end of the first half, clock's running out, deep in our territory, too far away to throw a Hail Mary.

SHIP: [Under his breath] Ironic, considering every pass they throw is a prayer.

HARSIN: Anyway...so we get in the victory formation so the other team thinks we're going to take a knee, right? With Malcolm, Joe and Cody all surrounding the QB, we fake dropping to a knee and shove the ball up under Cody's uniform...he's a double helping of hash browns short of three bills, they'll never know where the ball went...then after everyone starts to walk off the field, he bolts for the endzone...awesome, right...I call the play, "The Great Potato Famine", cuz like, where did the football go, right. You get it?

McCOY: That's what you came by to tell us?

HARSIN: No, Curly Fry...I came by to watch last week's Jimmy Houston Outdoors, I forgot to Tivo it.

SHIP: I should have moved in with Fozzy.

Roll credits...

Come and knock on our door
Try a trick play that's new
Where the passes are his and his and not his
3's Company too....

Fin.

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