If there's one overriding, hilariously immutable law about Texas A&M, it's that Aggie jokes write themselves.
Many of those jokes can easily be accessed with a quick perusal of TexAgs, particularly after a bad loss, which is really any loss. Just check out the most recent addition of "This Week in Schadenfreude" over at the mothership if you desire any more proof.
TexAgs, of course, is the infamous citadel of Aggie delusion where that special brand of juvenility under the guise of anonymity is not only tolerated, it's pretty much par for the course.
Apparently that juvenility permeates the athletic department in a more extensive way than simply athletic director Bill Byrne repeatedly referring to Texas as "tu" in emails, a practice institutionalized through examples like a similar Texas University reference on a plaque gracing the football facilities.
Posting anonymously can be fantastic until that veneer of anonymity gets stripped away, which is exactly what just happened to Jeff Toole, the chief financial officer in the Aggie athletic department and senior associate athletic director, who was outed on the website after calling President R. Bowen Loftin a "putz" and a "hopelessly underqualified puppet," among other equally unprofessional comments.
According to Aggie logic, such actions are acceptable as long as you can remain anonymous, a task at which Toole failed, in large part because he had identified himself in an earlier post. Whoop(s).
Since the Aggies are so totally above such things, Dolla Bill released the following statement:
I have taken disciplinary action in regard to comments made by athletics chief financial officer Jeff Toole on an internet message board about President R. Bowen Loftin. It is imperative to have respect for those we work with, and especially the leader of our University. Under no circumstances should derogatory names be used when speaking about anyone within the University community. The matter will be handled internally.
For some reason, all I can read there is: Blah, blah, blah, respect, blah, blah, tu.
It's worth noting again this man achieves the moral high ground by referring to his friends from the state capital as "tu", signs his emails "bill", writes like a third grader, and may in fact take his notes in crayon. Sadly, three of these things are actually true, while the fourth simply remains an unsubstantiated rumor.
Perhaps the big problem here is that unlike Byrne, who is willing to call an Aggie alum and threaten physical violence, Toole attempted to hide behind his anonymity instead of doing the manly thing and calling out Loftin and his bow tie personally. Cowardly, in my opinion. And perhaps that of Byrne, as well.
In any case, now is as good of a time as any to be thankful, once again, that Aggies provide such a consistent source of amusement.