Airing of Grievances: “You people have a lot of nerve!!” I’m sick & tired of y’all calling for Mack’s head! NEVER give a Freshman RB 29 carries when you’re whipping the other team by 40 pts!! Darius, get your head screwed on straight!! Vince, I’m still angry about you goin’ pro w/ one year left & a championship team still in place!! Lamarcus, Gibson, & PJ, why did you leave early when KD was coming?!! Colt, why did you leave so much time on the clock in Lubbock?!!

Feats of Strength: “Stop crying, Georgie. Fight your father!” Earl’s stiff-arm body slam. Herschel running over Bill Bates. Bo Jackson running thru the Boz.

Festivus Miracles: “Damnedest thing. Me and Charlie were calling to ask you out, and, uh, we got this bagel place.” Case leads ’em to the BCS title in ’13, Brewer leads ’em to it in ’14 & ’15, and Swoopes leads ’em to it in ’16 & ’17. The best CFB team in history! Rezazadah