Hey you guys, did you know the Texas Longhorns were playing in a bowl game tonight? No, it's true.
We're playing in the Holiday Bowl (again) against Cal and the game is at 7pm (Central Time) on the World Wide Leader (or the NASA channel if you're a Cal fan). I discount double checked it with Aaron Rodgers, so I feel good about the veracity of my statement and would bet my life insurance policy on it.
The game is in San Diego, which as we all know in German means Pacific Life is a big, fat whale's vagina for ditching their sponsorship responsibilities and depriving us all of seemingly endless footage of humpbacks splashing in the ocean to 80's retro-techno dirges during commercial breaks.
It's also true that this is a match-up of two 7-5 teams which begs the question: if a Golden Bear shit in the woods and an endangered Red Wood fell on top of it and there was no one around to hear it except three hippie nerd Cal students protesting the deforestation of womens' pubic and armpit regions, would anybody care?
Anyway, it's a chance for UT to get to a magical 8 wins on the season. Why the number 8 is magic, I don't know. But I think as part of Mack's contract extension talks, if he wins 8, he gets to give Duane Akina a wedgie on his way to Hawaii.
Lastly, less we be remiss and forget that this is Cal's Make-Up Rose Bowl and chance to go revenge of the nerds on us for taking their Worther's Original away and bumping them out of the Grandaddy of them all a few years back. I would certainly like to empathize with their plight, but then I remembered that they really should be spending less time worrying about their Rose Bowl drought and more time figuring out how to get the rainbow spinning wheel of digital death off my computer. Mind your pace, Geek Squad.
With that, let this posting serve as your pre-pre Holiday Bowl Open Thread and feel free to share your thoughts about tonight's game.
Just remember that the game is in San Diego, so keep it classy. But if it burns when you pee so bad that you just can't avoid getting into a McCoy vs Ash pissing matching, just know that I reserve the right to summarily beat you about the head and face...not the face you say...yes, the face.