The Big 12 as Biblical Figures

I got this idea from the always hilarious Garnet and Black Attack, which made me think how easy this could be done for the Big 12, some of these are word for word from G&BA that also works perfectly for the teams in our conference while others I've slightly edited a bit to make them work.  There are also a few of my own original analogies in here as well.  I don't mean to offend anyone's religion, it is just in good fun.

Texas Tech Samson was kicking ass and taking names until Delilah (The James Family) cut his hair and main source of power (Leach).

Kansas St Job was once very well off and prosperous while doing things the right way, now he is going through some very difficult trials and must rely own his faith (Snyder) to carry him through.

TexasNoah saves mankind (the Big 12) from certain destruction caused by the flood (conference realignment) by agreeing to build an ark (or new TV contract).

BaylorIsaac, son of Abraham (Big 12 South) that he was willing to sacrifice, in order to prove his faith (to the PAC 16).

Missouri  The Prodigal Son, was living a prosperous life (in the Big 12), but wanted much more (Big Ten).  He was willing to sacrifice all of his morals to live the life of luxury but he fell on hard times, and came crawling back (to the Big 12) begging for forgiveness and salvation.

Oklahoma Lot, who flourished in the heart of Sodom and Gomorrah.

Iowa StJonah, saved from after nearly drowning (losing its AQ status) during the great storm (of conference expansion) by living in a whale for three days and nights.

Oklahoma StMoses wandered for 40 years (more like 23 years, so far) in the wilderness searching for the Promised Land (conference football title).

Kansas – Jezebel spent her entire life worshiping the false god BasketBaal and trying to deter people from the true faith.

Texas A&MCain was never satisfied with what he has, believes he deserves much more (SEC).  Carries a mark for past sins, and is jealous of his brother. (Do I really need to explain this one?)

Colorado Bartholomew, We know he was one of the 12 Apostles, but we never hear about him and nothing much is ever written of him. (And now that they're gone to the PAC12 we don't really care)

Nebraska - Judas, one of the original members of the Apostles, but later proved to be deceitful and very untrustworthy. Sold his soul (to the Big Ten) for 30 pieces of silver, but still less than Texas makes.

Feel free to post any others, i.e.

Rice Paul, completely dedicated his life to the true gospel of the university system (academics) and is constantly beaten and abused for it.

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