Former Longhorn back-up QB Sherrod Harris (@sherrodharris) treated his 1700+ Twitter followers to a story yesterday...
He's bashing other cats from the teams in the past and especially last year & keeps getting it going on me and asks his friend to come over.
Was talking to a guy about football. Long story short, he tried to argue me down about MY career. I was like "I don't think that happened."
Tearing his stories to pieces and he kept saying he had a person close to Sherrod. I was like "Damn, how close?" He said "horses mouth." LOL
I said "I'm a good friend of Sherrod's I've heard damn near most things about his life. Our parents are cool & I've known him since birth."
He just kept going... So I kept listening? Apparently, I've been married and his friend was at the wedding. That's the funniest one.
So outta nowhere he starts bashing me. I started cracking up. "He was awful, I used to go to practice with my friend and he was terrible."
I started laughing. He was like, I don't mean to bash your friend. I said "he'll be alright. Not like I'm going to tell him."
So I ask him... "Could Sherrod have played another position?" This man said, "of course, he has quick feet... Not smart enough to play qb."
I'm cracking up. Trying to give dude the benefit of the doubt so I'm like "Can I buy you a drink?" A lemonade? Wait, you're not drinking? Ha
Then he starts hitting me about my personality... "I heard he's a terrible person. Thinks he's better than folks. Left his team hanging..."
So he's like "yeah, they said he's a bad locker room guy." I'm dying now. Damn near crying. I'm egging him on too. Hard. Want to hear more.
So I'm eating my nachos soooo hard and dude comes over and is trying to figure out what we're talking about. I was "Longhorn Football."
So his friend comes over and starts going hard about black qb's!!! I'm like Got Damn!!! Wow. Cam, Jerrod, Me, Jay Chiles, Pryor, and Taylor.
I'm thinking "so tell me what you really think about us." LOL I ask him about Vince and he says... "Well, he's different." I was like ok.
That ran me a little hot, but I kept that smile. I'm thinking "do ya'll realize I'll put my hands on ya'll. I am black, fellas."
Finish my nachos. Order another lemonade and ask them if they're sure they haven't been drinking cause I'll get them one. "Nah, we're ok."
So we start talking football concepts. Blocking schemes, route patters, what to through against certain coverages and shit.
He's talking cover 2, man, cover 3, cover 4 and cover 6. I'm like, I haven't played since HS (fact LOL)... Then drew plays for each coverage
I explain why each play would work. They are completely mind fucked now. Like wow. Why did you know that? "I play a lot of video games."
Ok, so they want to go deeper... Blitz pick ups, hot routes, check downs, "sideline screens" (ha ha ha), audibles. I'm like cool.
I'm like ummmm... Ok, they draw a couple blitzes. I name them for 'em. Tell them what would pick 'em up or what you have to do to get out.
They start celebrating and shit. I'm like "WTF." I'm thinking they have to be high on something. Nope. Asking how I know so much. LOL
I'm like video games and HS. They tell me they record the UT games and Cowboys games and understand all the offenses/defenses.
So jokingly I say "So, ya'll can pretty much do what Jason Garrett or Greg Davis does, probably better?" These muh fuggas say "hell yeah."
I'm crying now. I swear tears came out of my eyes, my stomach starting hurting. I'm like do ya'll coach? Pee Wee? Wait, what? Bahahahaha
So I'm trying to pay, and I keep missing the bartender/waiter because they keep speaking and I keep looking at them and he walks by.
So, they start asking about Sherrod's and mine relationship (#Pause) and the last time I spoke to him I was like... "We spoke this morning."
He's like "I'm so glad he never played. It would have been terrible. You thought the K-State game was bad for Gilbert. Whew!!" Wow.
I'm like yeah, we would have surely lost if he would have had a day worse than that. "Do you think he would have completed a pass?"
He couldn't hit the side of a barn. I was like "How big would the barn have been though? Like a real barn?" Figure of speech I guess!"
I know the bartender/waiter and I'm like can I get the check. Dude tells me I'm a really nice guy. I'm like thanks man.
So a little kid comes up to me and is like "Hey, just wanted to come and tell you I follow you on twitter. Can I get an autograph?" LOL
I'm thinking only today would this happen. So I'm like of course. Sign a napkin and the guys are looking at me all funny. So "who are you?"
"I'm just on this thing called Twitter. I do a bunch of random thoughts on there. A couple kids follow me. It's cool. Something fun."
So bartender comes back and he's like I appreciate ya Rod. See you soon? I'm like, yeah I'll be back fam. Holla at you later.
I turn to walk away and the lil' kid, Marcus, brought his parents over and they are like "Thanks Sherrod. We appreciate it...
They gone on like "we wish you would have gotten a shot. We've watched you since you were at Bowie." I'm like thank you. *finger over mouth*
So I point at the guys and the family gives me a hug and wishes me the best. The guys are looking at me all sorts of weird. I hug Marcus.
I'm like alright guys nice to meet you. I'm like you too. One of the dudes is like, "you're on twitter right?" I'm like yeah...
So he's like we're both on twitter my name is Chris and this is my friend Steve, we'll follow you bro, what's your twitter name?
I bust out laughing. I'm fawking dying now. I sit back down ask the bartender to shoot me a pen real quick, grab a napkin, scribble the name
Slammed that hoe on the counter like I just got 35 on the domino table!!! My hand still burns. Oooooooooooweeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!
Was like "This was such an entertaining conversation guys. Enjoy your drinks" then patted them on the back and walked off. Bahahahahahaha
So I'm outside and these two crazy men chase me down and apologize to me for damn near 20 mins? I'm WAS NOT having it though. Not at all.
I came to the crib and had to tell ya'll. My roommates were gone so I had to tweet it. There's a moral to the story but I don't know it yet.
I don't think people are understanding how hard I slammed it on the counter. Do you realize how hard it is to get 35 in dominoes? Golleee!!!