54b - OmBONsman
by 54b on Jul 21, 2011 6:01 PM CDT
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PrintTo be honest, I'm not entirely sure what an ombudsman is or does. If we go by ESPN's definition, it's a guy that has an important sounding title, but no real power and is only responsible for listening to complaints and standing next to train wrecks so he can tell people, "nothing to see here, move along." Sounds about as fun as being the lost baggage desk jockey at the airport.
Regardless, if BON ever plans on unseating the World Wide Leader, we can't be showing up to the coronation one ombudsman short now can we?
So me, 54b, is dutifully and irreverently volunteering for the job and I invite you, cherished BONers, to send me questions, comments, complaints, rants, whatever's on your mind...I'm not a very smart man, but sometimes I know about, you know, stuff. I'll try to some answers once a week or once a month depending on how many questions I get.
Just don't send or forward me anything political, racial, illegal, etc. Oh and nothing solicitous either. I'm tired of having my heart broken by that cyber siren that keeps emailing me to say that "she want get no me more better because she think I am a specialty person." If I'm so special, why do I have to send so much money to get to know her. Plus, I don't even get a full body shot.
Anyway, send it here:
54bblog@gmail.com
That's right, there are two b's like in that children's book about elephants.
Oh and if you want answers on recruiting, X's and O's or want to talk about actual sports stuff, post that over in the fan section or send it to Peter. He actually cares. Now, that said, if you want to discuss Peter's refusal to stop sporting the Justin Bieber hairdo because he's technically worn his hair like that since puberty and why should he have to change his hair on account of that no talent ass clown...well, you send that to me, 54b.
Is this a blatant rip-off the SportsGuy's mailbag and a cheap way to reach my posting quota? Likely.
But we still got to get thru August. What the hell else are we going to do?
Let me hear from ya.
54b
PS. You're in the trust tree with me...if I answer your question online, I won't include your email address or actual name. Just tell me your BON member name.
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Dear OmsBONsman,
While I recognize this letter is not directed to Abby or the Texanist, I am curious: (a) how can I know when an aggie is acting in true form vs. acting uppity, and b) where can I get a pre-law school Peter Bean type of spit-cup style commentary as his current content, while potent, timely, and all encompassing is great read if you like Harvard Business Review?
Thanks,
Your Humble T-Shirt Fan
P.S. – OU sux.
Burnt Orange Nation
Follow Along on Twitter @TXStampede
A two parter...liking the direction this is going thus far.
These will be answered along with Signal’s below.
Good questions
Be nobody but yourself in a world that desperately wants you to be like everybody else.
This is a bit like the Answer Fella in Esquire
but without the funny joke from a beautiful woman. Ok,,you asked for ‘em,,
1) When are there going to be BON t-shirts, coozies etc? ByGod we spend enough time here we should at least be able to order stuff,,no,,I don’t want BON shoes. Or handbags.
2) will be emailed because I really did read the directions and contrary to popular belief AND what the nice men at Lowe’s will tell you,,I CAN follow directions.
Great idea to kill the next 42 days. Brilliance.
There is not a situation or individual that cannot be improved by the addition of chocolate.
But my Longhorn handbag ...
… is actually one of my most favoritest possessions. :) I could sure stand another …
Watch out, I bite.
by EddieTheAlbinoSquirrel on Jul 21, 2011 7:18 PM CDT up reply actions
I have two that I just love. I wouldn't trust the lovely 54b to pick them out though.
Now if Dime were around. I’d let her pick out my purse ANY day.
There is not a situation or individual that cannot be improved by the addition of chocolate.
Dime is way into shoes. Bags are a close second, so I'm told.
Burnt Orange Nation
Follow Along on Twitter @TXStampede
I request we rebrand BDR as "Dime's Bags"
by Hopkins Horn on Jul 21, 2011 8:50 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions 1 recs
Dear OmsBONsman,
I hate California.
Thanks,
Hopkins Horn
(OK, that isn’t really a question. I don’t care.)
by Hopkins Horn on Jul 21, 2011 7:48 PM CDT via mobile reply actions
Aren't you back here by now?
Geesh. I was certain you were the reason for the shortage at Whataburger the other day. California will soon slide into the ocean or shake itself into smaller states so you won’t have to hate it forever.
There is not a situation or individual that cannot be improved by the addition of chocolate.
Yay! The statewide IQ will rise exponentially.
There is not a situation or individual that cannot be improved by the addition of chocolate.
California's?
There is so much beauty because life can be so symmetrical that it gives birth to this almost silent poetry . . . (like) a girl who's terrible at grammar saying, "Mama, you raised me good," and then being pushed down a well . . .
Dear OmsBONsman,
What’s your opinion of fans who split their allegiance between Texas and another D-1 program? For example, let’s say there was a fan who rooted intensely for both Texas and, say, Notre Dame? Do you consider them to be “real” Longhorn fans, or should we feel free to ignore their opinions on the Horns?
Just curious.
Sincerely,
Hopkins Horn
by Hopkins Horn on Jul 21, 2011 7:52 PM CDT via mobile reply actions 1 recs
This is easily explained by their adoring love for pictures of jumping puppies from laps of BFF's.
Burnt Orange Nation
Follow Along on Twitter @TXStampede
It's 100 degrees outside and you show Indiana snow. Shameful display if ever.
Burnt Orange Nation
Follow Along on Twitter @TXStampede
I live in Houston now!
Thinking of snow is refreshing.
Whoever said laughter is the best medicine had clearly never tasted Scotch.
Houston? Well, when in Rome, do as the most interesting man in the world.
Burnt Orange Nation
Follow Along on Twitter @TXStampede
Yep, got a job, graduated, and moved.
And am now ostensibly studying for the bar.
Whoever said laughter is the best medicine had clearly never tasted Scotch.
You do know there's no alcohol involved with this particular bar, right?
by Hopkins Horn on Jul 21, 2011 8:37 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
WHAT?!?!? WTF?!?!?
Someone lied to me!
Whoever said laughter is the best medicine had clearly never tasted Scotch.
They also probably told you in law school that a JD guarantees a lifetime of gainfully-held employment
by Hopkins Horn on Jul 21, 2011 8:46 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
That dig works better at someone who doesn't actually have gainfully-held employment
Whoever said laughter is the best medicine had clearly never tasted Scotch.
Better?
http://chzgifs.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/boingboingboingboingp1.gif
Whoever said laughter is the best medicine had clearly never tasted Scotch.
Quit talking about Em that way
by Hopkins Horn on Jul 21, 2011 9:10 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
This is my favorite little video thingy ever
I had a boxer that looked just like her/him. Mine was a sweetie and her name was Atty Sue and I miss her to this day. The white on her neck had the white mark like this cutie, but her’s was a perfect Scarlet A. (how perfect). Thus I had to name her something with an A, so I let her join my work.
Don't be such a baby.
Dear OmBONsman,
I have a related question. What about fans who are so divided in their loyalties that they can’t even devote their entire screenname to Texas, instead splitting it with a reference to another school? Wouldn’t you say that makes them worse fans? Also, is it an aggravating factor if said fans are not even from Texas?
All the best,
LonghornEm
Whoever said laughter is the best medicine had clearly never tasted Scotch.
You're so cute when you're being derivative
by Hopkins Horn on Jul 21, 2011 8:19 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
You're just so cute when you're being hypocritical.
Split loyalties, indeed.
Whoever said laughter is the best medicine had clearly never tasted Scotch.
I know you are but what am I?
by Hopkins Horn on Jul 21, 2011 8:35 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
When did you get so clever?
Whoever said laughter is the best medicine had clearly never tasted Scotch.
Born in Wichita Falls in '53
Lived in Baton Rouge mid-60’s, New Orleans late Sixties, graduated from Bryan Adams in Dallas, went to UT for 3 years(Actually just smoked dope and chased bra-less coed’s). So I’m UT # 1 and LSU # 2………had a hard time a few years ago at the cotton bowl(UT vs LSU), my oldest brother graduated from LSU, asked me who is was rooting for……..was easy, UT…….I’m just making a statement that its ok to support more than one as long as you know whose #1……
"Nobody leaves this field until we beat the hell out of them".................... L.J."Louis"Jordan in 1913 before kickoff of the Texas/ou game.
sorry, this was in response to Longhornems
question above about supporting more than 1 team..
"Nobody leaves this field until we beat the hell out of them".................... L.J."Louis"Jordan in 1913 before kickoff of the Texas/ou game.
That wasn't actually a question
Hopkins likes to give me grief because I cheer for Texas, my undergrad alma mater, and also for ND, where I went to law school. I was giving him grief right back because his screen name refers to the two schools he attended. That was all rhetorical at the expense of each other.
Whoever said laughter is the best medicine had clearly never tasted Scotch.
Dear OmsBONsman,
Can you stop this couple? It is now my singular purpose in life to do this before anyone else:
by Hopkins Horn on Jul 21, 2011 8:44 PM CDT via mobile reply actions
My advice
sneak up behind and wait for #723 to open, then break their record.
That’s only if you want to break their hearts, you SOB.
Actually, a Whataburger marathon sounds like a great idea. Fuck the Ironman and other so-called endurance sports. How fast can you make your way through 722 Whataburgers is a sport we could all get into. I’m sure Hopkins Horn would be happy to organize this.
.
by Longhorn in Canada on Jul 21, 2011 10:10 PM CDT up reply actions
Confession
I’m just jealous, as there are no Whataburgers in Canada. Lots of MacDonalds, but I wouldn’t eat there if I was starving, so that doesn’t help.
.
by Longhorn in Canada on Jul 21, 2011 10:14 PM CDT up reply actions
Dear OmsBONsman
Where is TBone Stalone?
Secondly, how can I get Wipeout of the air?
I’ll hang up and listen, thanks.
Eight Walls
<> a new MMA blog from Fantake
Dear OmsBONsman
As an attorney I’m suppose to bill hourly at work. Instead, I spend a ridiculous amount of time trying to follow the Longhorns and checking BON relentless to see if there are any new deveopments.
This gentle caller wants to know, Is there a program I can join that cure this insane addiction?
Don't be such a baby.
Dear OmsBONsman,
I’ve noticed of late that BON has become the de facto SBNation home for those who wish to discuss issues relevant to Texas A&M.
I’m confused about this. I was under the impression that BON was meant to be a Texas-centric site.
Isn’t there a well-written, well-edited, frequently-visited SBNation site dedicated to Texas A&M where these Aggies could instead congregate?
Sincerely,
Hopkins Horn
Isn’t there a well-written, well-edited, frequently-visited SBNation site dedicated to Texas A&M blockquote>
No.
Whoever said laughter is the best medicine had clearly never tasted Scotch.
quote fail
Isn’t there a well-written, well-edited, frequently-visited SBNation site dedicated to Texas A&M where these Aggies could instead congregate?
No
Whoever said laughter is the best medicine had clearly never tasted Scotch.
Two questions
1. How am I supposed to spray perfume on an email?
2. Is there a limit to the number of animated gif’s per letter I write?
Greg Davis haikus; a lot like his offenses; always go sideways.
by pleaseplaykindle on Jul 22, 2011 11:12 AM CDT reply actions
6-6 this year guys
I see myself as an entertainer and an Icon. Oh and C finnegan can go fuck himself. @THEREALALLENOU on twitter
It was in June as it always is
by Hopkins Horn on Jul 22, 2011 11:41 AM CDT via mobile up reply actions
if you still takeing questions
I would like to post comments on the sooner and aggie blogs but I don’t want to sully my computer by joining them. What can I do? Is there a guest pass available? Help me Obe 54b. You are my only hope.
Who are you?!
I'm Kick Ass!
nice grammer
jeez
Who are you?!
I'm Kick Ass!
by TexasGarcia37 on Jul 22, 2011 5:38 PM CDT up reply actions
It's not broken.
The Land Thieves snuck in and stole some pieces and aggy ran off with the rules so they could argue and pout about the game not being fair. That’s all. Not broken.
There is not a situation or individual that cannot be improved by the addition of chocolate.
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