Stuck In The Big XII With OU

For all of you that have severe tired head from realignment talk and are still confused as to just what the hell is going on, I figured why not let Stealers Wheel (posing as Longhorns fans) sum it up for us with their timeless hit... 

Stuck In The Big 12 With OU

Well I can't believe what I heard last night,
David Boren said something that just ain't right,
He wants Beebe knocked out his chair,
And LHN strung up by the short hairs...

Pac 12 to the left of UT,
ACC to the right, here we are,
Stuck in the Big 12 with OU.

Yes we're stuck in the Big 12 with OU,
And we're wondering what it is we should do,
It's so hard with every school trying to save face,
Losing control, yeah, we're all over the place,
Pac 12 to the left of UT, Big East to the right,
Here we are, stuck in the Big 12 with OU.

Well OU started out saying nothing,
When Aggie bolted and the shit hit the fan,
And then the rest of the Big XII started bawlin,
And OU called Larry Scott back to say,
Please.... Please.....

Trying to make some sense of it all,
But realignment makes no sense at all,
Going independent startin' to sound better for sure,
'Cause We're Texas and we don't give a shit anymore
Pac 12 to the left of UT, SEC to the right,
Here we are, stuck in the Big XII with OU.

Well OU started out saying nothing,
When Aggie bolted and the shit hit the fan,
And then the rest of the Big XII started bawlin,
And OU called Larry Scott back to say,
Please.... Please.....

Well I can't believe what I heard last night,
Larry Scott said something that just ain't right,
He said the Pac 12's gonna stay right there,
And Dodds and Castiglione said, "ain't we a pair,"
Pac 12 to the left of UT,
ACC to the right, here we are,
Stuck in the Big 12 with OU.


OU, suck it up. We're in this together whether you like it or not. Quit acting like everything isn't going to work out for us. You know we will be fine.

A&M, we will call you about the damage deposit later. Just get the hell out already. Enjoy the SEC and realizing your destiny of becoming Mississippi State 2 - Eclectic Boof-A-Ewe. 

To the rest of what's left of the Big IIX, take a Xanex. Let's see if we can't figure this thing out just like we did last year. The conference, even without Nebraska, is probably better top to bottom than it's ever been. We don't need to blow it up.

Yes, I'm sure our TV network gives your remote control reason to push pause, but we're just getting top dollar for our Third Tier Rights. And it's not like Texas didn't already have more money than Davey Crocket before this deal. Nothing has really changed other than we can now watch a lot more Lady Longhorn Basketball.

So what do you say we all just get back to football season. There are a couple of big time conference games this weekend. The A&M-OSU game will draw national interest and OU vs. Mizzou should be big as well. Us Horns have got a big game against upstart 3-0 Iowa State coming up the following weekend and the Clones were so excited, they apparently just got a new Jumbotron down at Rent-A-Center. And you know they don't want the Big 12 to go away. That sucker was bought with a Payday Loan backed up with future conference TV checks. And why are those TV checks so big? Well not all, but a lot of it has to do with the fact that UT brings a whole shit load of viewers to the bargaining table and network execs know The Eyes Of Texas really are upon you.

Long live the Big XII. 

54b

@longhorn54b

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