The Season in Rock
by windycityhorn on Jan 4, 2012 11:23 AM CST
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PrintOnce upon a time PB nominated me this site's resident music critic. Who am I to argue with the boss?
As I look back on 2011, I can't help but thinking my twin obsessions had remarkably similar years. The New York Times called this past year "The Year Rock Just Spun Its Wheels" and I can't agree more. And those of us who love college football were forced to justify a year of coaching scandals, infighting, greed, immorality, and a regular reason rendered meaningless by a system of determining a champion that is the worst among American sports.
Here, then, is your Season in Rock.
MAN OF THE YEAR:
KANYE WEST = LES MILES
You may not like him but he gets results.
Kanye is not a rapper's rapper. But as a producer he's a master molder of talent, and he's working with the best: Jay-Z. (See here where he samples Otis Redding from 2011's Watch the Throne.) But it's hard to believe someone who acts like such an idiot sometimes can be so good at his job. Looks good in a baseball hat.
Les Miles has built a machine around a spectacular talent and kept it humming. But it's hard to believe someone who acts like such an idiot sometimes can be so good at his job. Looks good in a baseball hat.
PERFORMER OF THE YEAR:
ADELE = ROBERT GRIFFIN III
Came out of nowhere with the performance of the year.
This was the song of the year and it wasn't even close. She'll clean up at the Grammys and she's got a hell of a career ahead of her. Your girlfriend loves her.
We all saw what this guy could do. He took home the Heisman and has a hell of a career ahead of him. Your girlfriend loves him.
C'MON, REALLY... THESE GUYS AGAIN?
COLDPLAY = ALABAMA
Same review for both = Everybody hates these cocksuckers. They get all the breaks and don't deserve it.
WORST PERFORMANCE OF THE YEAR:
METALLICA = TEXAS A&M
Nobody shit the bed more spectacularly than these guys.
Oh Metallica, what have you done? Back in the day, you had some success. Did some good things. And then you started believing you were bigger than you really were, and started alienating your incredibly devoted fan base. And then there's this, your unlistenable collaboration with Lou Reed, which made you into a joke.
Oh Aggies, what have you done? Back in the day, you had some success. Did some good things. And then you started believing you were bigger than you really were, and started alienating your incredibly devoted fan base. And then there's this, which is scoreboard for all time and forever. PS you were always a joke.
HOPE FOR THE FUTURE:
TEXAS = THE BLACK KEYS
Representing all that is good and true.
The Black Keys are two dudes from Akron, OH. They make rock music the way it used to be made. In the 60s and 70s, when it was made right. They've had better albums before, but their newest, "El Camino" is still one of the best albums of the year. (I'll post my other picks in the comments.)
The keys to the Longhorns future are in the hands of two men: Bryan Harsin and Manny Diaz. Meanwhile, Mack Brownhas always envisioned returning Texas football to the days of Darrell Royal. In the 60s and 70s, when it was played right. They've had better years, but I believe this team has a bright future.
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Extended Play
PRIDE OF THE MIDWEST
WISCONSIN = BON IVER
On Wisconsin!
Bon Iver is one guy who hails from Eau Claire, WI. He made his name in 2007 with “For Emma, Forever Ago,” a stunning debut album with a stripped-down sound that was primarily created in a backwoods cabin. You might have heard this song. Now he’s broadening his sound and the result, his new self-titled album is a masterpiece. Your Album of the Year, IMHO.
The Badgers hail from Madison, WI. They made their name with a stripped-down approach to football: big running backs and defense. Now they’re broadening their game with one of the most dynamic quarterbacks in the college game. Your B1G champions.
OLD SCHOOL REVIVAL
MICHIGAN = PAUL SIMON
Suddenly relevant again.
You kinda forgot about Paul Simon, didn’t you? He never went away. He first started recording music in 1957, when he was 11. He was huge in the 60’s, the 70’s, the 80’s, and the 90’s. Had some disappointing performances in the last decade. But his new album is a return to form, and beats almost anything the young whippersnappers came up with this year.
You kinda forgot about Michigan, didn’t you? They never went away. They first started playing football in 1879, when there 38 states. They were huge in, well, just about every decade. But had some disappointing performances in the last one. But their new team under Brady Hoke is a return to form, and they beat the Buckeyes this year.
BEST PERFORMANCE IN LIMITED RELEASE
USC = SURFER BLOOD
2012 could be their year.
Surfer Blood is the band to watch next year. Their four-song EP, “Tarot Classics,” is pound-for-pound the best thing I heard all year. Example here and here. It’s tantalizing to think of what these guys could accomplish on a bigger stage. They’re about to get it.
USC is the team to watch next season. You don’t need me to tell you that. It’s tantalizing to think what these guys could accomplish on a bigger stage. Now that they’re about to regain bowl eligibility, they’re about to get it.
WAY TO BLOW IT, BUDDY
JOE PATERNO = CALEB FOLOWILL
A hero falls.
Who’s Caleb Folowill? He’s the lead singer of the band that could have been the biggest in the country, if not the world, Kings of Leon. I’m not a fan but I get why they’re beloved. But Caleb walked off the stage during a performance in Dallas (allegedly to vomit and drink more beer) and never returned. The band has been on hiatus ever since, and they have a lot of work to do before they’re ready to take the stage again.
Who’s Joe Paterno? He was the head coach of the team that was the biggest in Pennsylvania, if not the East Coast. I’m not a fan but I get why they’re beloved. But JoePa… well, you don’t need me to rehash that mess. They have a lot of work to do before they’re ready to return to relevance again.
Simplicity is always the secret, to a profound truth, to doing things, to writing, to painting. Life is profound in its simplicity. - Charles Bukowski
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