Evening Brewsky: We Are Family

Sister Sledge singing We Are Family (via MusicLuverForever)

We are family

I got all my sisters with me

What could be better than some Sister Sledge introduced by a German chick from 1997 who appears to be wearing a cowhide jacket? Not a leather jacket, but a jacket made from a legit cow hide. Hope that wasn't Bevo. Germans are odd. Especially Germans from 1997.

It was the first YouTube video I pulled up in a search for the song and after seeing the cowhide jacket, it was clear that the video that lingers above is the definitive take on it. I don't need need to do any more research to stick with that conclusion.

Anyway, coming around to some modicum of focus here, Wednesdays at SB Nation are a family day, a day for us to all get together and share the awesomeness of the network with those folks who don't often make it past BON. Share the awesomeness of all of our sisters, so to speak.

Horns_bullet_mediumLet's start this out in the wheelhouse. Yes, the wheelhouse. Like making fun of Greg Davis. Since the Hawkeyes are ever a target for our "sisters" over at Wide Right & Natty Lite, it's never a bad time to make fun of ol' GDGD over there. And with the trauma of Davis and his tenure in Austin still quietly festering (don't worry, it's one of those low-key lingering infections) for Texas fans, it's probably never a bad time to make fun of Greg Davis over here.

Let's look at a typical play sequence, one that Longhorn fans know only too well:

1st and 10: Bubble screen left. Gotta soften up that defense. Keep the throws simple for the quarterback, rely on downfield blocking and allow your playmakers to make plays in space. Players making plays... Wait, is that where the term "playmaker" comes from? Never made that connection before...

...

2nd and 7: Bubble screen right. DECEPTIONARY. First play went to the left, and now the very same play is run to the right? Madness. Such creativity shouldn't be limited to football. Ol' Greg could probably be composing music or painting fine art. But Greg Davis doesn't do that. Greg keeps his genius focused on football. Play gains two yards.

...

3rd and 5: OPTIONATION. Gotta give the quarterback options. Spread four receivers out, let 'em run to opposite sides of the field. Send one receiver on a go route (KEEPIN' THE SAFETIES HONEST), send the slot guy on a button hook. Important thing is, keep a bunch of receivers behind the first down marker. Lotta open throwing lanes for the quarterback back there.

Remember, it's okay if the quarterback doesn't quite understand what's going on during a play. If the quarterback is confused, the defense will be too. Quarterback sacked.

If you head on over there, you get the pictures along with it. Quite a deal. And apologies if the series brought up some 2010 trauma because, unfortunately, this was the story of the Texas offense that year. Except insert an interception for that sack. Yes, there, that's much better.

Horns_bullet_mediumAGGIE AWESOMENESS. No, that is not an oxymoron, it just seems like one. Still skeptical? Well, perhaps you should peruse this fantastic graphic, courtesy of new SBN Aggie blog Good Bull Hunting. Really, go peruse it, as it may be the most creative piece of content on the network today. As it would be quite a few days.

I saw it this afternoon and sat there stunned at how awesome it looks, vowing to never again mess with Photoshop, even for something basic. Just kind of giving up and going home. Kinda like the Aggies di...oh, damn, I was going to do this without trolling (and that was a ham-fisted and poor troll job anyway), because the guys over at GBH are getting ready to do some really good stuff this fall (are already doing some really good stuff) and I think the quality of interactions between the BON community and the site should be on another plane compared to, uh, what happened previously.

There should be some sense of humor involved and the provided levity by that development should be beneficial for everyone. Just play nicely, kids. Troll and be trolled gently, with a wink and a slight smile.

Anyway, I was seriously derailed for about 15 minutes trying to gather myself after seeing that work from GBH, eventually moving from feelings of unworthiness to feelings of jealousy. Ha. Then I spent entirely too much time figuring out the story of Bob DeBesse.

Horns_bullet_mediumHolla at the sistership. Beating the "sisters" theme to death, the mothership will be known as the sistership today, and star sista Spencer Hall is back with the Alphabetical, one of my weekly must-reads. It is football season after all, which means it's Alphabetical time.

Since Spencer is a Gator fan, and Coach Boom the former Texas head-coach-in-waiting, why not share his thoughts about the resounding win over Bowling Green this weekend (the win was not resounding)?

Jabbering. Florida struggled to beat a MAC team in Gainesville, failing on several fourth-down conversions and running an offense an NFL coordinator would call "stuffy and risk-averse." In response to criticism, Muschamp said the following:

"I told Brent, and Brent is a lot more imaginative I can assure you of that, but I told him we're going to run the football," Muschamp said following the win. "You can't talk about it, you have to be about it."

Checklist:

  • Nonsensical response to gameday strategy sniping
  • Admission of counterproductive meddling with offensive gameplanning
  • Bullheaded insistence on strategy counter to available personnel

The current "Zookishness" of the 2012 Gator football team now sits, after one mere game, at "pretty Zookish." We will continue to monitor this situation as it unfolds, drives off a cliff, catches fire, and traps all passengers inside with no chance of survival. Will Muschamp might have been reading Titus Warmsley, but the covers appear to be too far apart for Muschamp's reading tastes. THERE IS NO HOPE.

When I think of imaginative and Brent Pease, I think of a variety of ways to drop the f bomb repeatedly and gratuitously on national TV. I guess that's imaginative?

And "pretty Zookish," Coach Boom? Ouch.

Anyone else pretty much over Muschamp?

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