FanPost

Surprise Candidate for Next Texas Head Coach

Breaking news from Belmont.

DeLoss Dodds, Athletic Director at the University of Texas, wants to go with a known commodity at head coach. The trouble is, there's just so much uncertainty when deciding which candidate to go with.

According to Dodds, "We've looked at every available living head coach and assistant coach, but we just couldn't trust our program to chance. Sure, you've got some young guys out there who are doing great things, but who's to say they'll be successful at Texas? We want age, experience, and a proven track record.

"Here at Texas, our thinking is that sometimes, to move forward, you've got to go backwards. So we decided to include deceased coaches in our search, and we've come to the conclusion that Vince Lombardi is the best fit for our program at this time. He's tough, he's smart, and he a proven winner. Also, his first name happens to be pretty popular around these parts. Of course, we all know that Coach Lombardi passed away in 1970, but me and Joe [Jamail] have decided that it will be easier and more reliable to invest billions of dollars inventing a time travel device than finding a good head coach candidate among those currently living.

"At this time I'm excited to announce that we've already begun our preliminary research and development phase, with Jeff Madden heading up a team of graduate assistants who are meticulously studying all three Back to the Future films."

All comments, FanPosts, and FanShots are the views of the reader-authors who create them.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

Join Burnt Orange Nation

You must be a member of Burnt Orange Nation to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Burnt Orange Nation. You should read them.

Join Burnt Orange Nation

You must be a member of Burnt Orange Nation to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Burnt Orange Nation. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9347_tracker