Gus Johnson Sucks

by Peter Bean on Mar 19, 2007 10:44 AM CDT in Basketball Comment 23 comments

Shut your face.

The Gus Johnson craze is reaching epic proportions these days. Bill Simmons is mostly to blame, I'm convinced, as he threw his weight behind Johnson first by noting that "Johnson could make a chess match exciting." Now seemingly everyone's in love with the way Gus calls college basketball games - an absolutely terrifying trend.

Am I seriously the only person on the planet who wanted to ram nails into my ears during the Louisville-Texas A&M game? Was anyone else even slightly appalled by the way Johnson yelled "EL TEEEEE-GRE! From NEW! YORK! CITY!" after every Sosa basket? (Sosa scored like 80 points, too, so we heard this every 20 seconds.)

I thought I was being paranoid about the love-fest for Gus, but if anything, I may have been underestimating his popularity. Jamie Mottram calls him the "star of these first two rounds." People are compiling All-Time Greatest Gus Johnson calls. It's damn near a phenomenon, and I, for one, am petrified.

The problem with Gus Johnson (okay, one of -many- problems) is that he has absolutely no ability whatsoever to distinguish between the various stages of a basketball game. He peaks about fifteen seconds into the game, then constantly, endlessly amps things back up to that peak level at every possible chance.

A diving save out of bounds? "The heart of a lion! Diving for a shot at glory! A shot at eternity!"

A nice no-look pass to set up a dunk? "Something tells me this man can play a mean game of pinata! No look?!? NO PROBLEM!!!"

It's positively awful - not only because it's so corny, but because it distracts from the game itself. And that's what really bothers me about the Gus Johnson Craze. The suggestion that we need a man screaming about what's happening on the court to appreciate the magnitude of the madness is precisely why the sports experience continues to devolve further and further into a gigantic swarm of hoopla. Thundersticks. 700 foot jumbmotrons belting instructions to 20,000 automotrons. Pyrotechnic shows that have more firepower than the Russian army. Fox robots alerting us to minutiae on the screen.

It's as though the people in charge of these productions think that the games themselves can't stand up on their own. That a chess match can't be intrinsically interesting - it has to be hyped and excitified. That a tense NCAA Tournament basketball game isn't exhilerating because of what happens on the court, but because of the numnut screaming about it over the television.

Where oh where do the people in charge get these ideas, anyway?

Oh, I see. . .

--PB--

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People love

things to be important, or "the best ever", the GOAT etc., and Gus Johnson provides that. As you pointed out, he tries to make everything more dramatic that it really is, and people in general love dramatics in sports.

So i think, from the standpoint of CBS, Gus Johnson is a way to make Tourney basketball exciting to people who normally wouldn't be too excited about it, which makes viewers come back game after game expecting excitement, which helps CBS make money.

Bad for the game or not, unfortunately money and sports can never be unlinked in the US and when deciding whats best for the game and what helps make more money, Gus Johnson and money always win.

by HWO on Mar 19, 2007 12:05 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Thank You.

I am glad to see I am not crazy, or at least not alone.

by billb on Mar 19, 2007 12:06 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Dickie V Started Kit

I don't really get into the Announcer critiques as many do because I don't really notice them all that much while watching a game (even when they're the over-the-top animated types). Maybe it's because I've always been a visual learner or maybe I'm just part of the oblivious minority.

Anyway, what struck me about your post is it seems like you could say a lot of same things about Dickie V as you do about Gus Johnson.

The difference, one has been doing it for 40 years and the other just got started.

And while I think it would be irresponsible to play some kind of race card here, it does seem like we give the eccentric old guys a pass while we can't wait to eat the new fish.

I found it refreshing to learn that Simmons actually liked this guy as he's usually one of the most outspoken when it comes to railing on commentators.

Same thing seems to go for people who host award shows, roasts, and of course, beauty pageants.

Agree that some of his calls seem extremely out of place, but if he'd been around forever, would you and many others feel the same?

Be nobody but yourself in a world that desperately wants you to be like everybody else.

by 54b on Mar 19, 2007 12:10 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Dick Vitale

Is perhaps worse than Gus Johnson.

While Gus annoys me to no end because of his corny over-the-top game calls, Dick Vitale talks CONSTANTLY about crap that has NOTHING to do with the game. (Take a look at this.)

I didn't bring up Vitale because -lots- of people already rail on Dickie V. I brough up Gus because people seem to love him.

And I can't mute him fast enough.

--PB--

by Peter Bean on Mar 19, 2007 12:14 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Dick V

Dick is the color commentator, Gus is the play by play guy. I expect a certain level of BS from the color guy, but I always like the play by play to be solid and just give the action.

by billb on Mar 19, 2007 12:15 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Gus

Can't stand his commentary. I thought today's USA Today had a nice column on the announcers this weekend. The funny thing I didn't hear is below.

"P.S.: CBS on-air assignments for regional games: Jim Nantz/Billy Packer on top seed North Carolina's East region, Dick Enberg/Jay Bilas on top seed Kansas' West region, Brown/Len Elmore on Florida's Midwest region and Verne Lundquist/Bill Raftery on Ohio State's South region.

Say what? As Sunday's Kentucky-Kansas game wound down, CBS' Nantz kept flogging the 60 Minutes show that would follow as featuring American Idol'sSimon Cowell-- although Nantz, understandably, never mentioned the name of the hit Fox show. After Nantz called on-air partner Packer "the Simon Cowell of college basketball," Packer had this response: "I've never touched you when we were watching a basketball game."

Huh? As Nantz remained silent, Packer helpfully added: "Isn't that the accusation?" We might already have a winner for 2007's coveted "Say What Award."

http://www.usatoday.com/sports/columnist/hiestand-tv/2007-03-18-weekend_N.htm

by sportsfan on Mar 19, 2007 12:42 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

i like Gus Johnson.

there, i said it. someone had to say it. it needed to be said.

yeah, he uses hyperbole and over the top language constantly, but he sells it. he sounds genuinely excited to be calling basketball games for a living and he wants you to feel that excitement too. i don't need him to tell me the magnitude of what's happening (maybe some casual fans do, but you and i don't), but i thoroughly enjoy the energy he brings to the game.

he's not a corporate shill like vitale. he's not a panderer like billy packer. he's not a superfluous Fox graphic or that stupid talking baseball they have. i don't get the impression that he's doing it to cater to the casual fan at the expense of patronizing the knowledgeable ones. he seems to truly enjoy basketball and gets excited about it. and i love that about him. he seems genuine even if his language is corny.

would you really rather have jim "how long until the masters start" nantz calling the games instead of johnson? someone who's very capable but boring and monotonous as all hell? if ever an announcer was born to call golf tournaments, it's nantz. i just don't want to listen to him call basketball games. i want gus johnson, warts and all.

by billyzane on Mar 19, 2007 2:52 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Well

Just because he's not bad in the way the others are bad, doesn't mean he's excused. I think it's also admirable that certain dogs are so, um, enthusiastic about life - wagging their tails about and jumping all over the place. They still annoy the crap out of me.

Ditto Gus Johnson. I love that he's enthusiastic, too, but he cancels out all of his good qualities by being such an over-enthused cornball from the moment the ball is tipped to - finally, when I'm soooo sick of his voice - the final buzzer beater. By the time we actually get to the climax, Gus has already cum eighteen times and we're all exhausted and want him to go away. (Or at least I am.) When the final shot drops through the basket, he's screaming just like he was when the opening tip was hit by both players out of bounds.

I appreciate your point, but it doesn't sway my personal opinion.

--PB--

by Peter Bean on Mar 19, 2007 2:59 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

fair enough

i didn't think i was going to change anyone's opinion. just thought i'd throw out the opposing viewpoint.

by billyzane on Mar 19, 2007 3:03 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

For sure

I'm a compulsive replier. . .

--PB--

by Peter Bean on Mar 19, 2007 3:07 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

PB

Dont you love the king of hyperbole, Bill Walton?

by Wells on Mar 19, 2007 3:18 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Absolutely

But Bill Walton has a little something called -timinig-, which I assure you Gus does not. Walton kills me (in a good way) because he drops in hyperbolic bombs at the funniest, most wild times. Johnson just goes bonkers constantly. Timing counts.

My favorite Walton hyperbole moment:

I'll never forget a particular sequence of plays during a 1998 basketball game involving the Utah Jazz, when Utah center Greg Ostertag completed a series of back to back to back plays in which he blocked a shot on the defensive end, raced down the court, scored on an alley-oop dunk, hurried back to play more defense, and then swatted ANOTHER shot. Walton, who was calling the game for NBC, emphatically, but still matter-of-factly stated, "Greg Ostertag may just be the best center in the history of the NBA."

Just awesome.

--PB--

by Peter Bean on Mar 19, 2007 3:24 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Heartbreaker

When I was young, Walton was an idol to me. A hard working, graceful player who made others around him much better. A bike-riding, tie-dye wearing, Dead Head, vegetarian hippie -- just like me.

It breaks my heart to see him sell out so shamelessly and to become the announcer I least want to hear (after that perv Albert). How can he need money that bad?

by Caradoc on Mar 19, 2007 3:34 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

huh

Walton and Alberts are two of my favorites.

by Jason Mayer on Mar 19, 2007 4:46 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Walton = Hillary Clinton

You either love him or hate him.

I thought Doc Rivers was the best commentator when he was on, but he's stealing a paycheck as a coach right now.

The worst was when Kareem Abul tried doing broadcasting. The first time he was on I must have said ten times, "oh my god is he awful at this!" He was completely awkward, like the Chris Farley show.
Love him as a player, but everyone has their limits.

Cats and dogs sleeping together.

by EYESofBEVO on Mar 19, 2007 4:53 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

kindred soul

writing for Slate
http://www.slate.com/id/2162141/entry/0/fr/rss/

by loganck on Mar 19, 2007 3:46 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

i sorta like him

gus isnt all that bad. its hilarious how worked up he gets, and kind of reminds me of myself with the emotion he shows during the games. i watched the highlights on MMOD of all the lexington games and was dying from laughter at how worked up he gets.

the funny part is, i was so stoked to have him anouncing at the end of the OSU-Xavier game because i knew he would freak out and was hoping we would have an exciting finish. But watching the A&M game, i don't remember a single word he said - either because of all the FTs wrecking the flow of the game, or because I nearly went into cardiac arrest on 14 separate occasions.

i read somewhere, where someone's audio feed was messed up and all they got was the crowd noise, which sounds like an awesome idea. if only the networks actually instituted good ideas.

by WacArnolds on Mar 19, 2007 4:29 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

i love gus johnson

although your points are understandable. im not sure, i just enjoy watching games when gus johnson is calling the game compared to jim nantz. at least we dont get stuck with him again, enberg and bilas isnt my preferred crew (raftery is the best in the business, hands down and lundquist is decnet) its much better than billy 'I only love ACC' packer and jim 'whens the masters start?' nantz.

i disagree to whoever said they expected the color guy to be crazy. i think the opposite way. the color guy is the former player, i want to -learn- the game from him and hear some insight, but the play by play guy i expect to say some random shit.

Visit Rock Chalk Talk! It's what your mom would want you to do.

by rockchalk on Mar 19, 2007 6:07 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

He's a joke

While I don't mind Gus Johnson, I don't take him seriously. He's too over the top. While I prefer too much excitement to ignoring the game entirely (Al Michaels, I'm looking at you), there are plenty of guys that find a middle ground, and they are much better than Gus. When people say "Great, we get Gus Johnson!", I don't think most of them mean "Great, we are going to get a well-called game!" It's more "Great, we'll have someone to laugh at!"

Or it might just be "Great, Gus Johnson means we don't get Billy Packer!"

by Sean on Mar 19, 2007 8:04 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Mike and the Mad Dog

on WFAN in New York were ripping on Gus all day, saying how he wouldn't shut up about Sosa and Rice High School. I think it's mainly Simmons related, which is troubling to see how much he sets the agenda.

by tk on Mar 19, 2007 9:00 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

I can live with him

Look, over the top at times? Yes. But it seems like so many of these games are not particularly close and are played at neutral sites with no real fan support...I can live with him trying to inject some excitement into the game when you can't find it anywhere else. Frankly, if there is hype that annoys me it is the constant hype that "March Madness" is the greatest sports event in the world. The tournament has its moments but it also has its "blowout superbowl" moments. Just a thought...how about giving the #1 and #2 seeds home court in the first and second rounds and giving the highest remaining seeds in each bracket home court during the sweet sixteen and elite eight rounds? Filled up arenas with actual student bodies present, added motivation to the regular season of college basketball, and the opportunity to see games being played at a Butler, George Mason or Winthrop. Could be interesting.

by kellen on Mar 19, 2007 9:35 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

The problem with your dislike for him

Is that Gus Johnson always gets sent to games that turn out to be really good or a classic. Kevin Harlan once noted on a radio interview that it's kind of a running joke within the broadcasting community that if Gus Johnson is there it's going to be a great game and come down to the wire.

Then again, I've seen a few games he was calling that were blowouts and Gus was pretty contained.

by Chalmersfan on Mar 20, 2007 11:40 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Not quite

Take the Louisville-A&M game - an outstanding game, but not a buzzer-beater moment game.

He was ridiculous from the opening tip. The "El Tigre!" crap was intolerable. He yelped throughout the entire game, saying one corny thing after another. It was literally - to me - mute-worthy.

--PB--

by Peter Bean on Mar 20, 2007 11:44 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs