Caption Contest

Texas A&M's policy of handing out numbers based on ACT scores has created some obvious confusion - as well as a record number of "12th Men"

Fresno State, a top 100 team, Texas A&M players are already looking forward to their contest against The University of Texas (UT has yet to beat a Top 25 team by less then 21 points this season).

Brain damage epidemic in college station affects the aggies celebration after a win.

Rollin Agro style.  Coach Fran's boyz ready to saw'em off after blowing a 19 point lead and surviving 3 overtimes to win against Frenso state.

Thought to be a pre-season gaffe...turns out that after 3 overtime periods of brainstorming...the aggies figured out how to count past 10.

"Douchebags steal University of Oklahoma's hand symbol."

If you want, you can add this to the first one:

"When asked, they said they decided not to "saw 'em off" since their buddy wasn't able to reattach his when he tried it."

Probably wouldn't add this but here it is anyways:

"After pointing out that A&M has a hand sign, the players respond, 'what the hell does gig 'em mean?'"

Ever the student athletes, A&M players (pictured above) proudly exclaim that they "won by this many!"  Sadly when asked to sum their jersey numbers Jovorskie Lane could only sing the alphabet song.

Aggie football players proudly show off the new "sheep grappling" technique that was recently approved by the university.  They planned on giving it a try during their post-victory celebrations that evening.

CDC cites "Stunted Finger Growth" in decision to extend ban on biodefense research at Texas A&M University.

"Displaced Obsessive Compulsive Inferiority Complex -  the transfer of an emotion from its original focus to another object, person, or situation, evoked by a persistent intrusion of unwanted thoughts (obsessions) or the performance of actions, as repeated hand-washing, that one is unable to stop (compulsions) along with a sense of personal inferiority arising from conflict between the desire to be noticed and the fear of being humiliated"

We Won By Two!

Not to be confused with hitchhikers any longer, profound Aggies borrow OU's hand signal, which has now become the univeral gesture for brothers on the down low.  (Crackers still have to put their foot under the other person's stall.)

I'll have two number twos.  And supersize me.

"Aggies respond after being asked how many years in a row they lost to UT before their narrow victory last year.  Lane shouts 'these many' before he realized he and his teammates were making sheep-asses out of themselves."

While celebrating Oklahoma's victory over Miami by throwing OU's hand sign, A&M's Javorski Lane moans in appreciation as his fellow Aggie gives him a playful gig'em in the backside after secretly removing his left hand from his glove.

After an anemic win The coach let's athletes play their favorite game.

Players are pictured in a rush to get picked for a game of "Up the chute and down the hatch"

Ravenous A&M running back devours own, teammate's fingers

Following a near upset, Texas A&M RB Jorvorskie Lane, famished from the double OT game against unranked Fresno State, bit off the middle and ring fingers on both of his own hands as well as the middle and ring fingers of A&M DB Charles Roy's right hand. When asked for comment, Lane grunted simply, "Jorvorskie smash!!!".  

"The Texas A&M Binary Football Team celebrates its victory over the varsity squad by flashing its 'Base Two' hand signal.  Javorskie Lane rushed for 1111001 yards and 100 touchdowns as the Binary Aggies moved to 10-0 on the season.  Lane said, 'Everything's bigger in binary!'"

After the 2nd OT, I noticed the fans hurrying to the other side of the stadium to provide noise for the Fresno State offense.  So why was the heralded Kyle Field so empty?  Did the fans leave early for the cow tipping party?

Lane's barbershop quartet (Lane counts as two) sang his rendition of "You were always on my mind"

You want the ones with the udders. They look sorta like this...

Come here, girl.  What is it?  Something's happened to Timmy?  He fell into a bonfire?

With this "Ninja Death Grip Hand Gesture", I we can stop a sheep dead in its tracks.

These morons go to eleven.

First time posting here.  I read BON obsessively; I have enough time management troubles without worrying about writing a post...

Caption: "When questioned about it, Coach Fran admitted, 'I tell the team we play Texas at every game.  Sometimes I worry one of 'em will figure it out.'"

When performing the shocker on a sheep, adjustments need to be made.

"Texas A&M running back Javorske Lane and scout team Vince Young decoys mumble 'boo' and 'ah man, I knew it' while they flash the 'Horns Down' hand signal after being informed by a sideline reporter that Vince Young is no longer playing football for the University of Texas Longhorn football team."

Nigel Tufnel: The jerseys go to eleven. Look, right across the board, ten, ten, eleven
Marty DiBergi: Oh, I see. And most teams just go up to ten?
Nigel Tufnel: Exactly.
Marty DiBergi: Does that mean it's bigger? Is it any better?
Nigel Tufnel: Well, it's one fatter, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your scale. Where can you go from there? Where?
Marty DiBergi: I don't know.
Nigel Tufnel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra roll over the belt, you know what we do?
Marty DiBergi: Put on eleven.
Nigel Tufnel: Eleven. Exactly. One fatter.
Marty DiBergi: Why don't you just make ten bigger and make ten be the top number and make that a little fatter?
Nigel Tufnel: [pause] He goes to eleven.

"So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth."