Breaking News: Yet ANOTHER Longhorn Arrested Tuesday Night

Federal agents seized nearly $3,500 of illegal steroids from the home of Mr. Bean in a bust the Justice Department is calling "significant and critical to sending the right message to those who would choose illegal means to gain an advantage over their competitors."

A source close to the investigation says federal agents were tipped off to Mr. Bean's alleged involvement in steroids use when a disgruntled reader of Mr. Bean's fast-growing Longhorns website "Burnt Orange Nation" complained to the DOJ of "uncontrollable fits of rage and lashing out." Investigators staked out Mr. Bean's residence and, they allege, discovered his steroid use.

Mr. Bean was unavailable for comment as of press time Tuesday evening, but his attorney did release a statement to the media.

"Mr. Bean deeply regrets that he has let down his friends, his family, his colleagues, and his readers. He would like to apologize for any embarrassment that he has caused the University of Texas, Sports Blogs Nation, and overworked bloggers everywhere. Peter was operating under extreme duress as he attempted to keep up his writing duties while starting law school, and regrets turning to chemicals as a way to keep his edge."

Officials at the University of Texas were quick to distance themselves from Mr. Bean.

"We are not affiliated in any way with Mr. Bean, with Burnt Orange Nation, or with Sports Blogs Nation," said Ellen Steckman, Vice President for Legal Affairs at the university. "Mr. Bean's reckless behavior is something that is beneath an institution of higher learning. We assure you that his arrest is not the ninth incident involving this football program in the past four months."

The talking points coming from the headquarters of Sports Blogs Nation were more upbeat. Tyler Bleszinski, who serves as president of the booming sports blogging network, dismissed media questions that his bloggers were beginning to operate as rogues.

"I'll put our long-term record up against any blog network in the country," Bleszinski said. "Peter's actions are not indicative of the type of blogger who writes for this network. We will handle the disciplining of this issue with all due diligence, but reiterate that there is not a bigger problem here."

Though Bleszinski was adament that the situation was under control, his statements were not enough to satisfy certain members of Congress who learned of the breaking story. Presidential candidates on both sides of the aisle raced to send out a press release, but Republican Senator John McCain of Arizona once again stole the biggest headlines with his firm denouncement.

"This has gone on quite long enough," McCain said. "It is time the American people step up to this wave of destructive behavior which is ruining the moral fabric of our society. It is time, indeed, for a jihad on steroids. This cannot and will not be tolerated."