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Longhorn Roundtable

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Taking off from last week's idea, AW, Other Andrew, and myself sat down to chat for a while last night. Among the topics covered:

*Would you rather be on a desert island with Coach Fran or a broom?
*Wells as Mel Gibson
*The mystery of Scott Derry

Click through the Read More to read the roundtable.

Peter (10:28:52 PM): ok, so let's start this week with the crying child from OU, shall we?

Other Andrew (10:29:42 PM): oh man, you sure you want to walk into that shitstorm?

Peter (10:30:08 PM): um, yeah, that was a joke.  i've had enough sooner trolling for a decade

Wiggo (10:30:27 PM): I did learn that Austin was filled with gays.

Peter (10:30:46 PM): i also learned the inherent lack of worth of mexicans. which i didn't know before.

Wiggo (10:30:56 PM): you put up the pic of stoops didn't you?

Peter (10:31:09 PM): there are also a lot more pedophiles in austin than i previously imagined. makes me wonder if i want to raise my family here.  i should move to norman.

Other Andrew (10:31:32 PM): at least you know the pedophiles in norman.... they're your cousins

Other Andrew (10:31:47 PM): i put up the original stoops picture

Peter (10:31:59 PM): that was great - made the subsequent motivational poster easy

Wiggo (10:32:05 PM): why didn't his mom stop by to defend him?

Other Andrew (10:32:27 PM): mrs. stoops?

Peter (10:32:37 PM): or mrs. crying child?

Wiggo (10:32:44 PM): mrs. stoops

Wiggo (10:32:39 PM): yeah, she was mia all week. I expected more.

Peter (10:32:52 PM): ah. don't think she's allowed on the computer.

Other Andrew (10:33:02 PM): mrs. stoops has better things to do.  like worry about her son's job security

Wiggo (10:33:43 PM): have we proven that there is internet access in Oklahoma? it seems all the Sooner fans who stop by live in Texas.

Other Andrew (10:34:05 PM): john "heath bar" wayne lives in norman

Peter (10:33:33 PM): anyone doubt that bob's headed to the NFL next season?

Wiggo (10:34:41 PM): stoops to detroit where he can coach a team full of former horns.

Peter (10:34:54 PM): great call

Other Andrew (10:34:59 PM): haha, true

Peter (10:35:20 PM): windler, did you get a fried coke this year?

Other Andrew (10:36:04 PM): no, but i heard tales of someone who did.  they werent impressed

Peter (10:36:10 PM): shocking

Peter (10:36:33 PM): i had two corn dogs for dinner tonight.  i wish i were kidding.

Other Andrew (10:36:43 PM): wow

Wiggo (10:36:57 PM): never had a fried coke but can't imagine it would be good.

Wiggo (10:37:23 PM): more white trash: corn dog or hot dog?

Peter (10:37:31 PM): corn dog, easily

Other Andrew (10:37:41 PM): wha?

Wiggo (10:37:43 PM): agreed.

Other Andrew (10:37:48 PM): the correct answer is turkey leg

Wiggo (10:38:03 PM): no way, the stick brings any food down a few levels.

Peter (10:38:12 PM): only a trashy trailer dweller like yourself would know that, windler

Other Andrew (10:38:18 PM): what if there's a "handle" yet no stick

Wiggo (10:38:34 PM): handle is more like cave man. stick is more white trash.

Peter (10:38:47 PM): i side with wiggo here.

Other Andrew (10:38:53 PM): well you're both wrong

Peter (10:38:58 PM): you sound like a sooner

Peter (10:39:06 PM): "you're classless because i say so"

Other Andrew (10:39:09 PM): you sound like a mexican and a gay

Peter (10:39:18 PM): "I like your taco, amigo."

Other Andrew (10:40:04 PM): it's gonna take a while to get over proudtxmomma

Wiggo (10:40:05 PM): bucky godbolt was trying to get people to come out of the closet on sports radio this morning.

Wiggo (10:40:17 PM): pb, did you call in?

Other Andrew (10:40:21 PM): hey-o!

Peter (10:40:46 PM): i still can't get over that bucky and erin is erin with an 'e'

Peter (10:40:51 PM): and erin is a dude

Peter (10:40:58 PM): typical austin mexican gayness

Wiggo (10:41:00 PM): yeah, that took me a while too.

Wiggo (10:41:11 PM): at least he goes by e and not erin.

Other Andrew (10:41:19 PM): ca-razy

Wiggo (10:41:31 PM): nice.

Peter (10:41:58 PM): turning to the non-trash talk side of the game, did either of you disagree with anything in my report card post?

Peter (10:42:37 PM): midseason awards - any alternate choices?

Wiggo (10:43:20 PM): a stretch, but maybe most surprising on offense: selvin young.

Other Andrew (10:43:20 PM): scott derry would also win the award for "Longest Neck"

Peter (10:43:51 PM): on selvin - i dunno.  he was pretty damn good by the rose bowl. i'm not surprised at all.

Wiggo (10:43:59 PM): I heard all about the 16 lbs he shed but still wasn't convinced. He looks better than he has ever looked at Texas.

Peter (10:44:04 PM): i want to hate scott derry. but he's playing well.

Other Andrew (10:44:20 PM): why?  cuz he's stealing PT from kindle?

Peter (10:44:22 PM): by hate i only mean blame plays on

Other Andrew (10:44:32 PM): or is it the neck?

Peter (10:44:35 PM): he's white

Wiggo (10:44:41 PM): its the hair and the neck for me.

Other Andrew (10:44:42 PM): racist

Peter (10:44:44 PM): and not in a good white linebacker kind of way

Peter (10:45:11 PM): white linebackers have to be 5-2, 230, with an extra chromosome for tackling

Wiggo (10:45:02 PM): zach thomas, urlacher, ...

Other Andrew (10:45:17 PM): derry does not have either of those guy's bodies

Peter (10:45:30 PM): derry's just a solid 'backer

Wiggo (10:45:32 PM): no, just trying to name some good white LBs. I'm stuck

Other Andrew (10:45:38 PM): nobis

Wiggo (10:45:47 PM): sorry, present day.

Other Andrew (10:46:12 PM): stumped

Peter (10:46:17 PM): zactly

Peter (10:46:19 PM): it's a problem

Other Andrew (10:46:26 PM): the three from ohio state

Peter (10:46:32 PM): they were all cavemen

Peter (10:46:50 PM): which is what you have to be if you're a white 'backer

Peter (10:47:05 PM): limit this to college

Peter (10:47:10 PM): derry just seems out of place

Peter (10:47:14 PM): anyway, he's doing well

Other Andrew (10:47:32 PM): i agree.  he's shown great defensive instinct

Wiggo (10:47:39 PM): he is doing well, but wouldn't you like to see more Kindle?

Peter (10:47:54 PM): absolutely - but depth is good, so...  no complaints really

Other Andrew (10:48:25 PM): yeah, i dont think chizik is intentionally keeping kindle out... i'm guessing chizik just doesnt think he's ready

Wiggo (10:48:34 PM): our depth is unbelievable. I think any one of about five guys on DL could be our defenseive mvp through six games.

Peter (10:48:41 PM): switching gears here slightly - anyone wonder if wells is secretly having an affair with greg davis' daughter?

Wiggo (10:49:53 PM): maybe he's just playing devil's advocate b/c no one else is.

Peter (10:49:17 PM): i haven't seen such a passionate, consistent defense of someone since mel gibson got asked about hitler and the holocaust

Other Andrew (10:49:27 PM): haha, i know where wells is coming from.  it's painful to sit in the stands and listen to the "typical" texas fan moan about our offense

Peter (10:50:23 PM): i agree with you there. i think the davis hating is waaaaay overblown. i do think there's room to discuss problems when they arise, though. still, overall, greg davis has been awfully good to texas. we're spoiled rotten.

Wiggo (10:50:23 PM): the typical texas home fan though is even worse: a grandmother gone by the 3rd who sat on her hands for two hours.

Other Andrew (10:51:05 PM): most fans our age got their offensive skills from playing EA Sports' NCAA '06 so when Colt doesn't complete that fake punt, people get pissed

Peter (10:51:19 PM): i know! how did he miss that pass!

Peter (10:51:22 PM): prolly davis' fault

Wiggo (10:51:34 PM): gotta open up the special teams.

Other Andrew (10:51:52 PM): theres definitely room to discuss, the problem is most people dont know enough about offense to have a logical discussion

Other Andrew (10:52:04 PM): and I include myself in that category

Peter (10:51:56 PM): and did you see davis miss the tackle on malcolm kelly in the second quarter? RAR

Peter (10:52:45 PM): offensive MVP?  i went with the o-line. if you had to pick someone else, though - who?

Wiggo (10:53:17 PM): probably colt. He was the biggest unknown coming into the season and has met or exceeded all expectations.

Other Andrew (10:53:31 PM): dang.  no one person has stood out this year as taking the reigns

Other Andrew (10:53:59 PM): selvin has met and exceeded all my expectations

Wiggo (10:54:17 PM): true but he and jamaal split carries. would be difficult for either to be mvp.

Wiggo (10:54:43 PM): i'd say we don't know yet. the real test will be who shows up in lincoln and in lubbock or against the aggies in nov.

Other Andrew (10:54:59 PM): yeah.  this season is far from over

Peter (10:55:11 PM): bigger concern - nebraska or tech road game?

Wiggo (10:55:50 PM): i said tech weeks ago and even with their poor peformance against Missou, I'll stick with the Mad Genius as my biggest worry.

Other Andrew (10:55:54 PM): those will be psychological games... one sec while i check out their schedules

Peter (10:56:19 PM): i've been saying tech forever, too... but i wonder if harrell has -any- chance against our D

Wiggo (10:56:20 PM): if tech loses this week, I will ask for a redo.

Wiggo (10:57:19 PM): harrell will be contained. I'm more worried about craziness: three turnovers, a special teams td given up, a major injury to a Horn.

Other Andrew (10:57:34 PM): nebraska - theyve got the talent.  both will win the week before our game so it wont be a "we've got to prove last week was a fluke game"

Peter (10:57:52 PM): i'm leaning nebraska, too

Other Andrew (11:00:51 PM): tits

Wiggo (11:01:08 PM): aren't you married?

Other Andrew (11:01:20 PM): yes.

Peter (11:01:25 PM): assless chaps: a point of redaction last week

Wiggo (11:02:02 PM): they're almost perfect. would be perfect without the black underneath.

Other Andrew (11:02:16 PM): black?

Other Andrew (11:02:23 PM): you mean orange?

Wiggo (11:02:30 PM): yeah, i mean orange.

Wiggo (11:02:50 PM): nothing underneath might be the death of too many fans though.

Other Andrew (11:03:00 PM): the one's in your seats maybe

Peter (11:03:11 PM): hey, we need an update - did you schedule an interview with the cheerleader, wiggo?

Wiggo (11:03:35 PM): actually, no. she applied for a specific program that is not quite ready for interviews. soon though.

Peter (11:03:51 PM): you need to get that program ready, like, yesterday

Other Andrew (11:03:59 PM): hahaha

Wiggo (11:04:13 PM): agreed.

Peter (11:04:25 PM): did you tell her that modeling assless chaps was part of the interview?

Wiggo (11:04:51 PM): not yet. I will ask for her to come in full spirit gear though. kids need encouragment.

Other Andrew (11:05:08 PM): rah rah, and all that

Peter (11:05:10 PM): you need encouragement

Peter (11:05:17 PM): your taco needs encouragement

Wiggo (11:05:19 PM): i need a mid day pick me up.

Other Andrew (11:05:49 PM): nooner?

Wiggo (11:05:55 PM): exactly.

Wiggo (11:06:56 PM): will the aggies be ranked if they beat missou this weekend at home?

Other Andrew (11:07:04 PM): no.  they suck

Peter (11:07:13 PM): i can't take them seriously at all

Peter (11:07:17 PM): not even a little bit

Other Andrew (11:07:24 PM): they needed a last second goal line stand to beat army....   ARMY

Other Andrew (11:07:32 PM): rice beat army by a thousand

Peter (11:07:32 PM): exactly - they should have lost that game, too

Wiggo (11:07:33 PM): are they better than boston college? or wisconsin?

Peter (11:07:53 PM): the aggies have played one decent opponent, and lost

Other Andrew (11:08:20 PM): it is at home.... but I think mizzou is gonna come to play

Other Andrew (11:08:32 PM): and wont be hoodwinked by all that aggie rigamaroll

Peter (11:08:38 PM): i've watched missouri twice this year (unfathomable in july), and they're very solid.  they'll win

Wiggo (11:08:48 PM): i think Missou wins but if A&M pulls it out, i'd expect them to be ranked on monday.

Other Andrew (11:09:05 PM): no

Peter (11:09:10 PM): if the aggies win, i think we'll hear even more "big 12 blows" talk

Other Andrew (11:09:18 PM): i'll bet you a white trash corn dog they're not ranked if they win

Wiggo (11:09:36 PM): for sure but they will be 6-1. there aren't too many teams with a single loss outside the top 25.

Peter (11:10:20 PM): would you rank dennis franchione?

Other Andrew (11:10:21 PM): they didnt even sniff "also receiving votes" in the AP

Other Andrew (11:10:42 PM): just below a stiff bear bryant

Wiggo (11:10:51 PM): we shall see. again, this is probably not worth it b/c they are going to lose.

Peter (11:10:55 PM): agreed

Wiggo (11:11:41 PM): are u totally sold on missouri though? who have they beaten?

Peter (11:12:09 PM): i'm not -totally- sold on missouri at all.  i just think they're solid.  if i hadn't seen them play?  i'd be very skeptical, but they're pretty decent.

Other Andrew (11:12:00 PM): who's a better companion for a desert island...

Other Andrew (11:12:11 PM): dennis franchione?  or a broom?

Peter (11:12:34 PM): a broom - at least you won't get fucked

Other Andrew (11:12:40 PM): i say a broom, because it'll probably get pretty sandy

Wiggo (11:13:13 PM): broom, just so you wouldn't have to hear him talk.

Peter (11:14:27 PM): you guys think we'll cover 31 against baylor?

Other Andrew (11:15:29 PM): probably not

Wiggo (11:15:36 PM): probably not. Baylor is not terrible this year. They have come good corners and can move the ball through the air. Maybe not against us though. Horns 42-13.

Other Andrew (11:15:45 PM): i can see a 35 - 14 game

Peter (11:16:06 PM): it's an interesting line.  my initial thought was 45-14.  and then i saw the line.

Other Andrew (11:16:22 PM): does baylor beat a&m this year?

Peter (11:16:27 PM): i hope so

Wiggo (11:16:45 PM): in waco? probably.

Other Andrew (11:16:53 PM): why?  dont we want a&m to keep fran?

Wiggo (11:17:24 PM): i heard a ku bball fan compare franchione to quin snyder at missouri in basketball.

Other Andrew (11:17:33 PM): good comparison

Peter (11:19:54 PM): final thoughts as we wrap up here?

Other Andrew (11:20:19 PM): ou sucks

Peter (11:20:41 PM): cry me a river

Wiggo (11:20:52 PM): auburn vs. florida is game of the week, but wouldn't be surprised to see penn state hang tough.

Other Andrew (11:20:45 PM): take ur pants off?

Other Andrew (11:20:53 PM): not topical anymore?

Peter (11:21:06 PM): mark foley jokes are good to go all year

Other Andrew (11:21:26 PM): oh, i've got family from New Hampshire coming in to see what big time college football is all about

Other Andrew (11:21:43 PM): and when I say coming in, I mean to Austin

Peter (11:22:10 PM): okay, i was gonna say.... you're gonna have to drive a long way from los angeles

Other Andrew (11:22:16 PM): so yall go stop by the uphill tailgate to see the clan

Peter (11:22:26 PM): sounds bueno - i'll be out in full force this week