I haven't been myself lately. I've been waking up in a cold sweat. Eating veggie burgers. Shakes, chills, sniffles... the works. I couldn't figure out what it was until I had a "Being John Malkovich" moment.
I was gnawing through a box of Franzia when I just hollered out "Scott Ware!" just like when Malkovich screams his own name in the movie.
It wasn't tourrets. It's the fact that Scott Ware hasn't been in our lives for damn near four weeks. I gave him the ol Google to see what he's been up to.
Here's a picture of him in the Rose Bowl:
What you don't see is what's happening on the other side. I went back to my tape of the game, and lo and behold, here's what he's doing:
But, Scott Ware is out of our lives for good. I've come to accept that. My question is, who's next? Who gets the wrath of unending bullshit from Burnt Orange Nation? Someone in basketball... They can't be too good. I.e. despite his glorious moustache and Jimmy Fallon bad looks, you can't pick on Adam Morrison. He's too good.
Any suggestions? Or is it something that some opposing fan has to will to us?
I'm lost without someone to direct my unbridled sarcasm.