We conclude the look ahead at the Texas Longhorns 2006 offense with the big question: ;Who will replace Vince Young at quarterback?
There are only two candidates, of course. You've probably read 10,000 articles about these two already, so we'll save the scouty introduction for someone else (maybe Todd McShay?). We'll take a more nuanced look at the two potential QBs, starting with the West Texas kid.
Colt, a.k.a. "Colt" McCoy The man with the perfect Texas name is a natural candidate to work under center for a school that so recently operated under General Major Applewhite. The benefits to the ever-awful FSN Southwest's Joel Myers are overwhelming. The Colt .45 gun-slinging/cannon/blah-blah metaphors are already under way. If you don't think he has a "horse in this race," think again.
Anyway, from the Texas Sports Colt McCoy roster page:
I can't live without: Food and friends
Favorite movie(s): Gladiator
Favorite actor: Denzel Washington
My sports hero as a kid was: Troy Aikman
Nobody knows how much I like to: Hunt and fish
Favorite TV show: Sportscenter, Seinfeld
After my football career is over, I hope to: Have a great job and a happy family
Favorite music group: AC/DC
My dream as a college football player is to: Lead my team to a national championship
The biggest influence on my football career is: My father
Oh come on, Colt. A West Texas kid with a father who named him Colt? You'd might as well tattoo "I HUNT. A LOT." on your forehead. The other interesting note in there is the AC/DC selection. Mind you, this is a team that just came off three seasons of leadership by Vincent Paul Young, Junior. Who liked rap. A lot. Can you imagine the scene in the Texas locker room as all the players start their "Let's All Jump Up And Down Together And Bump Chests" thing and, where normally the thumpty-thump of some krunked out Houston piece starts bumping, you hear the opening chords to Thunderstruck? What do you think would happen? Here's how the exchange might go:
Colt: Let's get CRAAAAAAAAAZY!!!!! (everyone stops jumping, look confusedly at McCoy, who's head banging so furiously he hasn't realized everyone's now staring at him)
Kasey Studdard: Dude. No. Just... No.
Colt: Oh. Shit. It worked in high school.
For another, funnier perspective on how this might all play out, as always turn to EDSBS.
Jevan Snead Ladies and gentlemen, we have our first sign of which way the Texas coaches are leaning in this battle... There is no "Jevan Snead File" on his roster page! What a snub! The coaches -obviously- don't like him much and are trying to send him a message.
Or... he may have just got to campus. I don't know. I found that bit on a Longhorns message board.
In lieu of a breakdown of his answers, since, well, there aren't any, we'll invent some for him!
I can't live without: Throwing at least six touchdowns in a game. It makes me angry when I throw five or fewer. Only happened one time, but ugh... [shaking his head] Cindy got pounded -that- night, that's for sure. Wait. Don't print that.
Favorite movie(s): I'd probably say anything that doesn't have Denzel Washington in it. What a tool.
Favorite actor: Al Pacino, dog. Fuckin Al Pacino.
My sports hero as a kid was: Chris Simms. I don't like cheeky West Texas names.
Nobody knows how much I like to: Read Burnt Orange Nation. Just a terrific site. Probably the main reason I chose Texas.
Favorite TV show: Hmmm... I was kind of a Six Feet Under guy until season three, when it just got too depressing for me. So I stick to lighter stuff now. Oz is one of my favorites.
After my football career is over, I hope to: Get drafted by the Houston Texans first overall. Won't happen, but a guy can dream, right?
Favorite music group: Whatever Vince Young put in Mack Brown's iPod. It worked once, right?
My dream as a college football player is to: Win four Heisman Trophies and four national championships. [laughs] Sorry, that guy for Notre Dame is a douche, man. Jesus.
The biggest influence on my football career is: Vince Young, duh.
There you have it, folks. The quarterback battle is ON.