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Longhorn PTI: May 8th

Longhorn PTI returns this week, with lots on the table to discuss.  

Let's get our final NFL draft thoughts out there. Are you pleased with Vince going to Tennessee?

PB: Absolutely. The only real question is how long it will take Vince Young to Vince-ify Jeff Fischer and Nashville. Currently, Jeff Fischer's Most Played song list on his iTunes is Rascall Flats and Devo. Consider that when Vince first came to Austin, Mack Brown's iPod was almost exclusively filled with Garth Brooks and recordings of himself praising Texas high school coaches, just so he'd never forget. By the time Vince left, Mack Daddy was pimpin out to Fitty Cent and Cam'ron.

Other things to watch: Can Vince knock Dale Earnhardt from his throne as "Most popular `athlete' in Nashville?" Will Norm Chow use the word "krunk" in a press conference, as in, "Vince was just krunk today; I just don't know how else to say it."? Will the Houston Texans be run out of the city and relocate to Murfreesboro?

I'll be watching closely.

AW: I'm also pleased that Vince has landed in Nashville. If Norm Chow lives up to his billing as an offensive genius, then we won't have any problems. Vince will be allowed to run, dance, throw, and thoroughly torment NFL defenses like no player ever before. But if Chow becomes an "offensive genius" like Norv Turner, then we will have a huge problem.

My only concern is that Vince may be asked to start too soon. Even stud college quarterbacks struggle their first year in the NFL; see: Peyton Manning, Troy Aikman, etc. If Steve McNair leaves, Vince may be forced to fulfill monumental expectations before he is ready.

And yes, after Vince destroys the Texans in Houston, the Texans will become not only the most hated franchise by BON regulars, but also by Houstinites. What a disaster.

Your thoughts on the implosion of Troy?

AW: The Trojans are falling faster than President Bush's poll numbers. It really has been startling. The fall hasn't been death by a thousand cuts, but more like death by a thousand uppercuts. Yeah, they had a dozen or so players drafted, but the big ones are all entering the pros with serious questions. Does Leinart have passion? Is White dedicated enough? Has Bush been a pro for years?

The real questions obviously surround Bush. It will be interesting to see if USC has to forfeit wins and national championships. I know we shouldn't snicker (because who knows what the future holds for the Longhorns), but right now I can't stop laughing.

PB: The funniest part is watching Pet Carroll scramble around in panties, saying things like "I'm schocked to learn I don't wear the pants in this relationship! We have to do better!" Ya think, Pete?

As the whole house of cards comes crashing down, what's left is a picture of the USC players playing tail for the last four years, wagging Coach Carroll the dog. Lack of institutional control might not be a stretch.

Texas-OU is going to be in Dallas through 2010. What are your thoughts on keeping it in Dallas or moving to a home-and-home?

PB: I hate the Cotton Bowl. It's a dump, the city knows it, Texas knows it. The bastard Sooners are the ones trying to negotiate to keep the game in Dallas, and we've acquiesced in the short term, but it won't be long before it's a home-home series. I consider it a foregone conclusion.

Frankly, I don't think we should ever let Sooners in the state, period. People are clamoring for immigration control? Fences on the Mexican border? Let's clean our own house first, starting with that wretched state. Build a bigass wall around Oklahoma. I say we Palestinian-ize the people of Oklahoma. The sooner the better, pun intended.

AW: The Cotton Bowl may be a dump, but TX/OU should stay in Dallas - period. The game atmosphere is unbelievable, and no one who has ever been will disagree with me. The burnt orange on one side, and crimson on the other, the state fair, the turkey legs, the games, the car show, Big Tex. I could go on and on. I haven't been in a few years, and have regretted it every time. PB, you don't want to let the Sooners out of Oklahoma? Well, now it looks like they may be coming to 6th Street by 2011.  

Final hunches on where Darrell Arthur and Damion Jones wind up?

AW: The word is Arthur just postponed his press conference for today. I really like this kid and think he will be a huge addition to whoever he chooses but it's time to make a decision. LSU is still the favorite but Kansas remains a possibility. I think he heads to Baton Rouge.

Damion James is the real nugget still out there. He is rated as the best player in the state of Texas. I still don't understand how A&M is the favorite. They are another 20 win season away from looking for a new coach. If he wants to play with the best, probably start at power forward, and play with Kevin Durant for at least a season, he comes to Austin. James will come to his senses soon and pledge his services to the Horns.

PB: I'm sick of Darrell Arthur. I hope he goes to Baton Rouge and becomes friends with Ryan Perrilloux so they can huddle together in a storm shelter while watching Playboy videos of Austin coeds prancing around 6th street in skimpy skirts.

Of course, if he chooses Texas for some reason, I take it all back. Except the part about Perrilloux.