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As I like to do when I read something that's especially tasty, I draw your attention today to a terrific read. Go ahead and print it out, grab a can of Cope, and head to the crapper: you're gonna need to sit and get comfy for Ian's lengthy response to the most recent Blog Poll.

Ian returns from his hibernation with a bang, filled with insightful football analysis, but more importantly, wildly entertaining digressions. Such as this one:

On the other hand, I'm thinking that Myron Rolle's decision to choose FSU prompted the most hilarious letter of intent signing since Stephon Marbury committed to "Georgia Tech University," the greatest player in Seminole hoops history might be Bobby Sura and they continually get overrated in terms of student body attractiveness on the account of someone who looks like what would happen if Wilson's Leather Store starting making floatation devices.

But then again, if she were to turn her Corinthian pelt into luggage, they'd definitely have to be called "Fun Bags."

Of course, you're probably thinking, "oh, he's just doing that thing where you take down what is generally considered to be a hot girl in order to make you a more sympathetic person." Look, buddy...what is "Sexy Results!" but a constant ploy to alienate any female reader I've ever had with one exception? My problem is that holding up a girl who obviously has fake tits as being some sort of superfox doesn't feel right. Sure, there are upsides to it; I think it's safe to say that any girl who consciously has altered her body via tattoo, non-ear piercing or plastic surgery is more likely to blow you in public. But I can't see how feeling up a fake boob should be any different than caressing a prosthetic leg. How would you feel if your ol' lady made you fuck her with a strap-on? Oh, so she wants a little enhancement for her pleasure? Off course, that's totally different if we're talking about calf implants. Bitches love that shit.

Yeah. That's good sh*t. Enjoy.