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If It's Baylor, It's BearMeat

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We've all got our rules we live by, and one of my firmest is "Never pass on a chance to chat with BearMeat. It wouldn't be Baylor week without 'em.

Blake Szymanski - are there signs of progress? The box scores haven't looked too pretty.

BearMeat: Blake Szymanski, aka Blyzzle Szyzzle, has shown progress in the sense that he has racked up three 400 yard games (the first three 400 yard passing games in Baylor's 109 year history) and shown that given a decent receiving corps, he may be ready for Big12 play in about two more years. I'm sorry, but he doesn't have the mental toughness or the arm strength and accuracy to run the current system. I like the kid, but I just don't see him leading our team to victory - he seems adversarial with his teammates, and this is more GuyMo's fault (for pitting 5 QBs against each other for the starting spot all season long). His multiple interceptions and concussion during the Kansas game may have deprived him of his starting spot for the rest of the season. Poor guy.

Where's the Baylor running game? Is it a problem with the line or are there no good tailbacks?

BearMeat: Referring to the Baylor Running Game is like referring to Czechoslovakia - it is not longer in existence. Thanks to our new pass-happy offense (an offense which we don't have the talent or coaches to run effectively), the running game has been subject to starvation-level stats and felony-level neglect. Given the impending doom of GuyMo's tenure at the B, we expect that the running game will return with a coach who likes to employ a multi-dimensional offensive attack.

Three players we Longhorn fans need to be aware of.

BearMeat: Longhorn fans need to be aware of David Gettis, Jordan Lake, and Joe Pawelek. Gettis is a super-athletic receiver and kick/punt return man who has shown flashes of electrifying brilliance. Lake is a never-say-die free safety who seems to be in on every tackle. He is a fearless freshman who will likely go pro someday. Joe Pawelek is a linebacker's linebacker. Freshman All-American last year, "Joe the Baptist" is sure to make BU history following in the footsteps of Baylor legend, and coach-to-be, Mike Singletary. Look for all three of these players to fight till the death  regardless of how many tens of points we are losing by.

Predecessor to greatness, ladies and gentlemen.
Compare GuyMo to a United States politician, past or present.

BearMeat: GuyMo is former president Herbert Hoover. Hoover was a capable administrator (see his work overseeing the aftermath of WWI in his pre-presidency) and pragmatic leader, capable of sound management and disaster relief. GuyMo's leadership was able to help turn perennial loser Kentucky around just as Hoover helped rebuild Western Europe after the Great War. However, just as Hoover was ideologically ill-equipped to deal with the collapse of free-market capitalism during the Great Depression, so too was GuyMo unable to emerge from the Coaching Death Trap that is Baylor University football. So Guy Morriss = Herbert Hoover. Hopefully Mike Singletary =  Franklin Delano Roosevelt, or we're screwed.

As always, enjoyed it, sir. BONers keep an eye on the Meat for my own answers to some of Red's questions about the Longhorns.