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Breaking: Durant Turns Pro

I have it from multiple high level sources that Kevin Durant will announce he's giving up the remainder of his college eligibility to join the NBA. Both sources said a press conference will be announced tomorrow morning and that Durant would outline why he was leaving UT. He apparently has an agreement with Nike for $47 million that he will announce later in the week.

I asked my sources if there was any chance they could be mistaken, or if there was any chance Durant was actually calling the presser to announce he was staying. Both said the same thing to me: "April Fools' bitch."