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Frank Okam, Derek Lokey Headed To Court

I was perusing MB-TF today and came across this interview with Roy Miller, which I expected to be like every other program-sanctioned interview posted on the site. That is to say, rather dull.

Not so!

Within Roy's interview, we get this question and answer (emphasis mine):

Q: How important is it for the young players to see the example of the older players, in all aspects such as Frank Okam and Derek Lokey taking the LSAT recently?

A: It's very important. When I first came here, that's what was instilled to me -- these guys work hard and are willing to put everything they've got into it. With Frank and Derek going for the LSAT, that just shows how competitive they are, not only on the field, but in academics, too. That just pushes me to want to do the best I can. I'm really proud of them for that. It's hard work, but it just shows you the kind of guys they are and the work ethic they have.

Frank Okam and Derek Lokey just took the LSAT?! Really?!

First of all, I applaud both players for taking the initiative to study for and take the exam. As someone who took the damn thing, I can assure you that it's a royal pain in the ass, filled with all sorts of tricky, brain-cramping logic questions. For example:

Five experienced plumbers - Frank, Gene, Jill, Kathy, and Mark - and four inexperienced plumbers - Roberta, Sally, Tim, and Vernon - must decide which of them will be assigned to four work teams of exactly two plumbers each. Assignments must m eet the following restrictions:

--Each plumber is assigned to at most one team.
--At least one plumber on each team must be experienced.
--Neither Mark nor Roberta nor Vernon can be assigned to a team with Frank.
--If Tim is assigned to a team, either Gene or Kathy must be assigned to that team.
--Jill cannot be assigned to a team with Roberta.

Given the above, if all of the inexperienced plumbers are assigned to teams, and neither Roberta nor Tim nor Vernon is assigned to a team with Gene, then Sally must be assigned to a team with either:

(A) Frank or else Gene
(B) Frank or else Mark
(C) Gene or else Mark
(D) Jill or else Kathy
(E) Jill or else Mark

Frank Okam, Attorney?
If you're like me, reading that makes you want to kill yourself. Or a plumber.

At the least, for most people, it's enough to keep them from taking the test unless they really, really want to go to Law School. You'd assume - wrongly, it turns out - that it'd be something a fellow would avoid if, say, he had first round NFL talent.

Alas, no, Okam and Lokey are better than you and me in almost every regard, and frankly, when you think about it, they'd probably make damn great lawyers. I know for a fact that if Frank Okam shows up at my office to deliver a lawsuit, the only thing I'll be advising my client is: "Settle. And fast."

In the meantime, these two legal scholars need nicknames. Orson suggested "The Bar Association" or "The Bench." Both work, but I think something involving a judge and harsh, max penalties might be even better.

I'll open the floor to you now.