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E-S-P-ythagorea-N Theorem

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Anybody else starting to enjoy this formula as much as I am...


(ESPN Hype for the latest "greatest player or team" ever) squared  x  (Formidable but not sexy Longhorns Team) squared = (Bevo Smack Down) squared


(Example) 

Overheard during last night’s telecast of the Texas/ASU game from Omaha:

Orel Hershiser: "Of course he’s got a great arm Buttermaker, he’s the best athlete in all of college baseball...but you don’t understand, that’s Mike Leake."

Sean McDonough: "Talk about a loan shark, I borrowed a nickel from him last week and he said if I didn’t give him a dime by Friday, he’d break my arm."

Erin Andrews: "Es un bandido"

Multiplied by...

Orel Hershiser: "Oh no, Texas is down 6-0 to ASU."

Sean McDonough: "Yeah, that’s like 22-0 in Mike Leake dog years."

Erin Andrews: "I’m going to go talk to Augie Burrito."

Equals...

Augie Garrido: "Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?"

Chance Ruffin: "Forget it, he’s rolling."

Augie Garrido: "Hell no, it wasn’t over and when the going gets tough...the tough go out and put 6 on the board against Mike Leake, the greatest thing since the invention of the automatic tampon remover."

Erin Andrews: "Es un Garrido."

Longhorns 10
Sun Devils 6


Enjoy your Texas-sized shite burger, ESPN. If you'd also like the Baked Ass-laska, please start hyping Tebow now so Colt and the Longhorns will have it ready for you by the Rose Bowl. 

Sincerely,
Burnt Orange Nation


PS. Cameron Rupp...um...we love you...sorry, panic...we mean, welcome to the Chance Wheeless Mutual of Omaha Appreciation Club.