What's up BONers?
Hell of a season we're having, huh? Can you believe it? A juggernaut of a football program that averaged 10 wins a season for over a decade may finish this one below .500.
That's crazy talk, right?
Just like the myriad emails and posts by shadowy bloggers that we somehow believe our credible because they claim their best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Major Applewhite and Will Muschamp diagramming a trick play called The Annexation of Puerto Rico at the Mean Girls table in the Belmont cafeteria.
(And breathe in, breathe out...and repeat after me, "it's not your fault, Good Will Muschamp, it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault....")
And last, but certainly not least (expected), while I find it completely fascinating that the current psyche of the fans merits a debate as to whether or not we should actually root for a loss against the Aggies tomorrow night, I'm quite sure that it's a sign that the Apocalypse is nigh. Plus, Jesus (Shuttlesworth) told me so. And he'd know.
Honestly, I think we've all gone mad.
So if you had Thanksgiving 2010 circled on your Mayan Tropic Bikini calendar, Congratulations, you're our big End of Days winner. Don't forget to remove your Nikes when going through the security line on the way to catch your comet...might want to check that role of quarters too, TSA might think it's your junk.
Seriously, what the Frank Denius Field is going on here? Who popped your practice bubble? Do you really want to use this doll to show Joe Jamail and the court where the bad Aggie touched you?
Longhorns fans believe we’re entitled because after all, We’re Texas. We make no apologies for unrealistic expectations, only idle threats if they’re unrealized.
Longhorns fans love our team intensely, loathe it just as intently, find solace only in victory, and contempt in defeat.
Longhorns fans cheer like there’s no tomorrow when things go right and bitch like there never was a yesterday when things go wrong.
Longhorns fans are drunk with power when we win, yet soberly impotent when we lose. We actually drink ourselves silly in order to take the games more seriously.
Longhorns fans prejudge without provocation, indict without justification, blame when we’re in doubt, and ridicule when we’re not.
And Longhorns fans plead for Texas football to love us as much as we claim to love it. But we’ll never be truly happy because truth be told, we’re not in love with a team, we’re in love with ourselves.
"The Thanksgiving Song" (If Adam Sandler were a Longhorn)
Love to beat Aggies.
Love to beat A-a-a-gies!!!
Love to beat Aggies cause it's good
Love to beat Aggies like a good Horn should
'Cause they're Aggies....they whoop....how rude
Aggies are on a roll, just pinched NU,
But their offense still stinks, so does the Wrecking Crew
Love to beat those Aggies from College Station
Freshmen report to Fish camp for indoctrination
Aggies like to stand all game long
If cousin-lovin' ain't right, they'd rather be wrong
Aggie-faggie foo and Aggie-faggie fat
A&M once had an LB whose name is Dat
Thanksgiving is a special night
If you yell TEXAS, I'll yell FIGHT
Aggies' head coach Sherman said his talk was "long"
Can't believe Tony Jarod-Eddie pinched Cotton's ding dong
Watching the game, drinking a Bud
Can't believe Old Sarge looks like Elmer Fudd
Offense, Defense, Texas just can't lose
Some Aggie cheap shotted Colt and he got a bruise
Aggies on the run from dawn to early morn'
It'll never be over 'till Gabriel blows his horn
Beat those Aggies - put 'em 6 feet deep
Poor Aggies like to fornicate with their sheep
A&M's uniforms are maroon and white
Texas will go to a bowl game if they win outright
Oh, Aggies in the corps are called the noble men of Kyle
But they're about as close to real soldiers as Gomer Pyle
Gobble gobble goo and gobble gobble Gig'em
I don't like those Aggies and I hope we beat'em
Oh, Texas loves to beat Aggies on Thanksgiving
Texas - 23, Futile Farmers - 20
Happy Thanksgiving everyone.