It's here. Sweet whatever deity, prophet, small mammal, amphibious creature, or Mel Gibson (say what you want about the man, but the son of a bitch knows story structure!) you pray to, it's finally here. We sit here on the eve of what may be the most glorious, exalted day of the year behind Texas - OU weekend and Penguin Awareness Day. The month of August is aptly called "The Dog Days." I have another name for this particular time period and the weeks prior: The Dog Days of Sport.
Ok, some of you seem lost. Let's say you're not a movie goer. I respect that. Let me see if I can frame it another way. The Dog Days feel like I'm imprisoned in a glass, soundproof cube. There are 50,000 speakers blaring on repeat a mix of Ke$ha, Rebecca Black, and Miley Cyrus (alright, we can just call it a top 40 station owned by Clear Channel). All the while, I see all of my friends who enjoy baseball and actually LOVE the dog days sitting outside of my box listening to The Sirens (minus the death and destruction) singing their renditions of Rush's 2112, The Beatles' Abby Road, Led Zeppelin's IV, and various Patsy Cline numbers. I can see them enthralled by this beauty, but, alas, I cannot partake. I chose my hell a long time ago by not adopting baseball as a sport, and all I can do is watch the glass crack a little more every day from the musical diarrhea being fed to me. But today, I see that the glass has finally reached its breaking point from the weeks of shrieking. Today, my cube shatters! I explode from my glass cage of emotion and join the jam session by playing an epic guitar solo while kicking a giant rhinoceros in the balls in front of a mushroom cloud! It's amazing! The Sirens bow before my greatness! The MLB falls into relative obscurity because people hate following a damned ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY TWO GAME SEASON! College football season enters the room and kicks off the most kick ass rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody the world has ever known!
As the music fades to black and the crowd of millions sits silent, in awe of the greatness they just heard, for the encore, the clouds part and the muse you prayed to above looks down upon this great nation and says "Let there be football!"
My friends, today is a good day. Hook 'Em.