Look down. Tell me what you see. Are you pissing excellence? There’s championship-quality pissing and piss-poor pissing.
I’m not talking about your aim.
Have you gone way past yellow? Does your urine look like something that came out of a Red Bull can?
YOU ARE A BAD GUY!
In Tom Herman’s Texas Longhorns football program, there’s no detail too small to overlook. Or so it seems, based on the, um, “hydration charts” that Herman has installed above urinals in the football facilities:
Went to take a leak in Moncrief and this was hanging above the toilet. Tom Herman's attention to detail is real pic.twitter.com/FoAMbkf56K— Anwar Richardson (@AnwarRichardson) April 11, 2017
We already knew that Herman “likes to make mountains out of molehills,” according to his players, in an effort to avoid proverbial molehills everywhere.
We also already knew that Herman takes hydration seriously — players do up-downs if they are caught without their gallon water bottle.
We just didn’t know that Herman took it this seriously.
And we’re a little, uh, concerned about whether the reporting associated with accountability to this chart is self-reported or, uh, otherwise.