Wherever you may be,
Whatever the time shall pass,
Sure as the sun shall rise,
Oklahoma... still sucks.
"Eternal Extempore" John Keats, 1814
Ladies and gentlemen... welcome to Hate Week.
Our version of Hate Week dates back more than a hundred years, but the tradition itself has been around since people have been burgling land, and in many ways, the story of humankind is a story of land thieves. The big difference, though, is that where other people have pillaged land to amass wealth and power... the Sooners got Oklahoma.
OU is such a cesspool of unrepentent cheating that even Pete Rose thinks it's sketchy, its fan base the only thing that has ever prompted someone from Arkansas to utter the words, "How crass." When the producers of CSI are ready to construct the show's ultimate forensic challenge, if they really want to make it tough they'll set the scene in Oklahoma, where DNA is indistinguishable and a dental record means you made it to 30 with half your teeth.
Hate Week? Oh yes, it's Hate Week...
And what could possibly make Hate Week even better? How about kicking it all off with the first of five posts sponsored by Jack In The Box, who had the brilliant idea of an in-season series of posts at BON featuring the best in animated GIFs? Um... okay! Even if I didn't already love Jack In The Box, I sure as hell would now. Jack In The Box, a grateful Burnt Orange Nation salutes you.
And what better time to kick off such a series than Hate Week? Particularly with Sooner fans being limited to communicating their hate via crude sign language (upside down Horns) and/or a spelling error (Texass), it only seems appropriate that we kick off this year's festivities with an animated picture book.
So let's get to it... 20 of the best in (safe for work) Hate Week GIFs.
(Click on any image that isn't animating to view the GIF on a separate page.)
20. Douche on Fire
Pro-tip to opposing fans: this is what you look like doing the 'Horns down'. No seriously: exactly like this.
19. VY to Pittman...
All the way to Pasadena.
18. Attack of the Sergio
The crazy-man arms are the touch that make this so outstanding.
17. A metaphor for 2008
OU touchdown. OU touchdown. Okay, now I'm pissed. 45-35.
16. Barry Switzer meets karma
It's awesome because it's ridiculous enough to make you laugh, yet sufficiently reality-based to make you nod.
15. Meanwhile... in space
A perfect GIF: creative, ridiculous, crude, and direct.
14. Uncle Colt
Epic use of Bradford-face.
13. A Love Story
And the Oscar for 'Best Use of Bob Stoops in an Animated GIF' goes to... Love Story!"
12. Revolutionary War
So that's what the cannon is for...
11. Jim Ross is sad
Everything I think I know about the world would be turned upside down if Jim Ross were a fan of anyone other than OU.
10. Try to look away...
You can't, can you. I've been watching this for an hour, and haven't felt this at peace in months.
9. The Harsin Shuffle
It's being opposite Venables that makes this so fantastic.
8. Sweet, sweet Sooner Tears
Is there a fan base whose children cry all over TV more than the Sooners?
7. Flaming Cheat Wagon
Wow. Talk about taking Hate Week to the next level. Just... wow.
6. Who you gonna call?
There's just so much awesome here, including one of the best-ever uses of Stoops-face. But not quite the best. That would be...
5. Mack vs. Stoops
...perfect execution of Stoops-face, with masterful use of Mack-face mixed in. So, so great.
4. Peak Stoops-face
The pinnacle that all Stoops-face art aspires to reach. Intense. Mesmerizing. Absolutely beautiful.
Because this will never, ever, ever get old.
2. 45-35 Forever
The most amazing play in the most amazing RRS win ever.
1. The Ultimate Hate Week GIF...
Shipley, Cosby, Pudding Pops, and a crying Sooner kid. Perfection.
And with that, I open the floor to you. Just one request, please: let's keep any pictures posted in this thread Safe For Work, and take anything more, uh, explicit... over to the Fan Posts.
Other than that, though: hate away. Because it's 3:37 AM on Wednesday and -- yup, same as before, same as always -- OU really, truly sucks.
Special thanks to Jack in the Box for sponsoring the week in GIFs series.