A linebacker on my eighth grade football team used to put his headphones on in the locker room and sit with his arms folded over his abdomen like he was battling an intense stomach ache, rocking back and forth as he let out barbaric growling noises while staring into the middle distance. Often times, it would look like he was looking at you. But everyone on our team knew better. No, he wasn’t looking at you, he was looking through you. He would rock back and forth with the kind of stale look in his eyes I imagine only someone is about to take a life looks at their victim moments before carrying out a heinous crime.
I never knew what he was listening to on his Sony Walkman. I never cared to ask. Quite frankly, I found it best to treat him the same way you would treat a bear, or any vicious animal, that you would encounter in the wild.
On Monday, Texas Tweeted a hype video in honor of the start of spring practice promoting the 15 days on the field leading up to the spring game that will launch the Longhorns into the upcoming season.
The video barely lasted 50 seconds, but there I was, sitting on my couch, arms folded over my abdomen like I was battling an intense stomach ache, rocking back and forth as I tried to keep in the urge to let out barbaric growing noises, staring into the middle distance with a stale look in my eyes.
“How we train is going to be how we win games. Every freaking snap at practice is 4th and inches!” said Tom Herman. That’s when I felt like it was time to start throwing furniture in a fit of pure enthusiasm for the upcoming season.
Look, maybe my former teammate and I are just lunatics. I don’t even talk to that guy anymore. But I’d have to imagine if I played this hype video and put his headphones over his ears there’s a good chance that guy would start to drift away into caveman mode.
See for yourself.